I am new to this. I tried to send a message yesterday and lost it somewhere--will try again. I had laminectomy at l4 and l5 in 2004 and then have been under pain clinic ever since-no relief from sergury. Diagnosis-DDD, herinated discs repaird bulging discs,arthritis in spine and spinal stenosis. I am on fentenyl patch 25, hydrocodone 10/500 3-4 x day, lexapro, cymbalta,and just stopped neurotin and replaced it with topiramate-increasing dose each week until I can take 4 tablets. Since 2004, I receive epidural injections every 12 weeks-sme relief-sometimes little relief. Since 2004 I can see increase in pain, increase in not being able to cope with pain, can't work now, can't do much housework, and I am terribly depressed. I have been treated for depression all my life, but now with the back issues I really can't control it. I feel useless to the world and that nothing I do really matters-everything I do revolves around pain- it controls my life now. I do everything I am told to do and yet I just get worse. No one around me wants to hear about pain. My husband is sweet but even he is sick of me crying all the time. I worry I am on too much addicting medicine and no one hears my concern. I am 61 and maybe people think this is old but I never thought I would be like this at this age. I can't do any of my hobbies and have very few friends for fear of committing and they do things I can't do now. Does this ever get better?