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Please help with chronic pain I thank you for this

AnonymousUserAAnonymousUser Posts: 49,662
edited 06/11/2012 - 8:36 AM in Chronic Pain
Hello everyone I would like to post how I am feeling. Pain, well is like a shattered mirror… just try and put the pieces back together. Impossible! I am usually a pleasant kind person, but at this point have broken down. Reaching out for help? Oh you bet I am. I think I may have finally snapped. Yes SNAPPED. I cleared off a whole table in a matter of seconds all the little decorations on it broken. Yep all broken. Where do we put broken things? Ya you guessed it the garbage. Not only do broken things go in the garbage but also things that do not work or aren’t functioning properly. Compare that to someone’s pain. Why any different? You try and get help and get treated like garbage for doing it, this is what you deserve for being in pain. But oh well to bad nothing anyone can do right? Just have to deal with it. I’m sick of just dealing with it. Chronic Pain… clear and simple = a living hellish nightmare repeating itself daily. All the days of suffering and for what? Why do people deserve this? You go to get treated by people you think can help you and just might fix you. And for what just to get let down again. Please all those people care about is making their money. Where are the values? Don’t they have feelings? I have yet to find a sincere kind understanding doctor. I have yet to see the day. You put your trust and spend years yes years working with your doctor only for them to tell you they can no longer help you at this point?? What?? Strange yes when you thought everything was going good between the two of you. You put up with the embarrassment and feeling of worthlessness to try and get relief. Reaching out for help only to be labeled as another statistic of a chronic pain sufferer. They do what “they feel is in your best interests” well MF’s feel this, spend one day in my shoes “feel” my pain. They would go crazy! All the years of putting up with the EVIL NURSES and the doctors who doubt you oh yes you can see it in their eyes. You better believe they do. Never mind that you have legitimate medically documented condition. Feeling hopeless, helpless? Well there is now reason to be. When the doctor tells you your pain is permanent pretty much equals a life sentence a prison. They tell you there is nothing they can really do? Tell me how is one suppose to feel after this?? The pain horrible pain try and ignore it…how can you? It won’t go away it’s never ending!! Babbling on and on? Yes. But do I care? NO. To bad I have some respect left for myself to end the pain… finally relief right? Self pitty maybe but hey at least I’ll admit it. Now maybe I can be labeled as CRAZY. I feel like going CRAZY. The pain is making me CRAZY. Maybe a medically induced comma? Finally some peaceful rest. Someone tell me this, how to deal with the pain without: medications, PT, surgery, injections, complementary services, ect as they have all been tried. Tell me cause I don’t get it. I want to be better I’m tired of living in this hell. I’m tired of all the tests the pills and mostly the daily suffering. Anyone have any suggestions???? I do believe in my Lord and savior Jesus, I have prayed for healing. I know my swearing is wrong but I have to let it out. Where are my rights as a patient? Why because I have legitimate chronic pain and medical proof of my condition am I getting treated basically like well a big pile of crap because I am reaching out for help for my pain??? The prognos is the pain isn’t going away.Yay. I can’t picture myself dealing with the pain alone. Hopeless? Helpless? Oh ya there is reason to be, screw this crap. The worst part about it is I am young. 20's. I get to look forward to a life filled with chronic pain. I feel trapped as if I were in my 90’s people my age are not supposed to be this way. What the…??!!!! Word of warning, be careful who you trust with you pain cause it can be shattered. People say they understand? How could they? They DO NOT Feel the pain that you are feeling. Sorry for the book but people gotta vent sometimes right?


  • Vent away!!!! Many of us truly understand the frustration of feeling completely at the end of our rope. But you gotta put a knot in that rope and hold on. If your dr is at a point that he can't help anymore, tell him to find someone who can. Don't give up. It is an aweful place to be, in chronic pain, but know your not alone. It down right sux but you are not alone. Hang in there, there are so many people here that feels your pain and anger and
    Understand all you are dealing with. Get angry,cry,break things,let it all out!!! We are here for you.
  • You've come to the right place to vent your frustrations and anger. We all understand, even us nurses who also suffer from chronic pain. Its frustrating navigating the medical system. I've been a nurse for 30 years and believe me I empathize with your situation.

    Let's start off on the right foot here so hopefully we can be supportive to you by sharing our experiences. First, would you give us more history of your situation, such as diagnosis, tests, any surgery, etc. I am sure there is someone amongst the more than 10,000 members here who can relate to your situation and be of help to you.

    Best wishes to you,

  • MetalneckMetalneck Island of Misfit toysPosts: 1,378
    You tell us, about you pain, where located, description, length of durations, ANYthing make it better or worse ... and what was your injury or disease that caused all of this in your 20's

    You implied that you have or have had medications, PT, surgery, injections, complementary services, ect and that each and every one of these modalities have failed??

    I'd find a crop of new Dr's.

    Regarding frustration - most of us know that one well - I believe the best we can do is just that ... the best we can do .... with support - medication and prayer - a mustard seed of relief is sown.

    Relief can be found, sometimes quickly, sometimes slowly, It will always materizlize if we are painstaking about the part of the process.

    Spine-Health Moderator
    Welcome to Spine-Health  Please read the linked guidelines!!  (Click on Welcome to Spine-Health)

  • hi can almost feel your pain and anguish .and i agree with you it hell trying to find a good doctor and there are many of us that have been treated like 54it by pain specialist and evil nurses .thankfully i am married to a kind nurse and i have an excellent doctor.most nurses are desensitized to chronic pain so we tend to get the rough end of it when we want a bit of sympathy.surgeons don't like failure so when you go back with back pain ..after they have operated on you they tend not to want to know either .living with chronic pain is fuxxxxg torcher us on here know how you feel ..i know that does not help when you are feeling so bad .but just bare in mind when you are ready to blow some MF head off ..or your own there are many like you and through talking on here maybe we can take the pain level or your upset or anxiety down a peg of two.i really do feel ou because i am in so much pain myself i was not even going to bother with the computer today but my wife made me! and seeing your post i am glad i did .please try to stay above it .i know is almost impossible but try..go see your doctor or find one that cares and get your meds sorted out ..do you have a TENS ? they along with powerful meds help.i carnt offer any advice as i am in agony myself and unable to do much at all .just hang on in there ,we know how horrible it is
  • hi and welcome to the forum! we are here to offer you support and answer what questions we can. chip it all away! :T we are here for you! :D hugsss, >:D< >:D< Jenny :)
  • Vent and rage away!! Each and everyone of us understand your pain, flusteration and anger!!
    Anger at the medical comunity that is supposed to help us but continue letting us down!!
    The flusteration of dealing with pain 24/7!!We are sick of being told to "deal with it!"
    You have came to the right place. We all understand. You are not alone.
    Tell us more about your condetion, treatments, surgeries, medications you are on. I am sure someone here can help. And we want to help.
    Hang on dear. There IS help out there....sometimes it takes a while to find it.
    I know how hard it is because pain does not take a break while we look for help.
    Sending you a hug.... >:D<
    Patsy W
  • I don't even know how to comment, except to say it isn't like this for all of us.

    Yes, I have extreme pain every day. However, I take offense to some of the things you said about doctors and nurses. I have never had a problem finding caring and helpful doctors to treat me. And I know of many people who feel as I do. It isn't the doctor's fault that we have chronic pain. Most doctors do everything they can to help us, until we stop helping ourselves. Over the past several years I have dealt with many different doctors. Some are more compassionate than others, but they still did what was needed medically to help me.

    You stated:
    When the doctor tells you your pain is permanent pretty much equals a life sentence a prison. They tell you there is nothing they can really do? Tell me how is one suppose to feel after this?? The pain horrible pain try and ignore it…how can you? It won’t go away it’s never ending!!
    My suggestion would be to find a psychologist who can help you learn to accept your pain and live with it. You can never ignore the pain, but you can find ways of dealing with it. Take the same energy you are targeting toward rage and use it to learn to live with your own pain. I'm in the same position physically as it sounds like you are. My pain and limitations are permanent, and yes, it sucks. But I for one am very thankful to doctors who have done what they can for me, and have now helped me to face reality that it will always be like this, or worse. Life still goes on.

    Venting is okay, but what concerns me is it seems like you have given up. That is not okay.

    I do wish you the best. Life is worth living, especially if you have a family depending on you. Keep up the fight, and in time it will get easier to accept and deal with your chronic pain.

    Surviving chronic pain one day at a time, praying for a reprieve because living another 40 years like this doesn't sound too fun!
  • give up on yourself than you will not find the help that you need. It may be a long road but if you are persistent in your search you will find a doc that can and will help you. Please tell us more about yourself.
  • I hope you continue to see your Primary Dr. for more referrals and hopefully you'll find a Dr/Surgeon and Pain Management Dr. to listen to you. There are many of us in incredible pain and personally I've returned to my Dr many times to get more meds and more referrals and another MRI. Have you had an MRI? I hope you get the help you need. I also needed to speak with a Therapist to help me deal with the chronic pain. Never give up okay? I'm a Nurse and I like to believe I'm compassionate and a caring advocate for patients and many of them have had bone cancer and needing more meds and Drs intervention. I believe there are many Drs who are caring and compassionate. I hope you can find someone to listen to you and hope you have less painful days ahead. Wishing you healing thoughts. Take care. Charry
    DDD of lumbar spine with sciatica to left hip,leg and foot. L4-L5 posterior disc bulge with prominent facets, L5-S1 prominent facets with a posterior osteocartilaginous bar. Mild bilateral foraminal narrowing c-spine c4-c7 RN
  • hi, yes you certainly do have to vent and this is the very place to do it.I have to say though, in my experience, it depends how much stress the nurses are under as to how they feel. I have been in hospital 4 times in the last 6 weeks and the docs and nurses have been SO caring, but when I was in a much larger hospital getting my op, they didnt have much time for me, but they are faced with alot more stress.I have been told on two occations that I had chronic pain syndrome, but when they explainedit to me, they said that even they dont fully understand how it happens, the pain signals are switched on, and they dont know how to switch them off.They also find it frustrating, though obviously not as much as the sufferer.Science has its limitations, and you cant blame the doctors for that.So long as they have done all the scans/tests possible, what else can they do?
    I do hope you can keep hopefull- we all lose it at times.It is hell to live with, but my worsed part of it is the guilt i feel for my kids and husband- what a lot they have to put up with!
  • You are in your 20's, just about the age I was first told that there was nothing wrong with me. So I can relate!

    How do you get through it. Its been 28 years of putting one day at a time together, It feels like your living a "Ground Hog Day" and it never ends.

    I can tell you this though, as time goes on and you make up your mind to move forward and look after yourself first, there will be things that come out and form the answers to the questions that you have right now.

    Go find another Dr first! And read some more about your specific conditions, you can search for the topics at the tops of the page here and there is good information here.

    Take this time as a challenge to learn about yourself, about everything that you are about and what you want in the future. There may be answers that come to you and help you as you are going through this.

    Finally- know that you are not alone! There are many others out here who have been through it too.

    Hope your feeling better - David
  • dilaurodilauro ConnecticutPosts: 9,878

    For a Spine-Health Site introduction, Click on :

    Welcome To Spine-Health

    If you have any questions, feel free to contact (PM) any one of the Moderators here Priestess , Jeauxbert, Bruce , Paulgla, DiLauro
    In addition, you can always contact any one of the members of the Authority team haglandc , tamtam , Neck of Steel , Cath111

    The Spine-Health Web site offers so much more than these Member Forums.
    Check the various tabs at the top of the Spine-Health page and you will find so much that is offered here.

    Please remember that all information you receive from members on this forum is NOT
    formal medical advise. You should always consult with your doctors.

    To get back to the Forums, you can always click on Forum Home

    Please feel free to contact me at rdilauro@gmail.com or send me a message

    One of the best things about Spine-Health is that you will soon find out that there are and have been so many people dealing with the exact things you are. Some people will read you story and provide you with sympathy and kindness.
    I will supply you with Cold Love!
    What I mean by that, is that I understand both the physical and emotional pain you are going through right now, but so much is in your Power to work on.
    Its harsh that you started with this pain at an early age. You can see that David started early and I first started having back problems at 15 and then spinal problems at 17.
    Youth is in your favor. When you, our bodies can take a lot more and our bodies can also react more positive to all the various treatments.
    Im 59 now and I went from a very active person, playing all sorts of sports to a more 'tamed' individual. That was 7 spinal surgeries later and many other things, just read my story.
    What made all the difference in the world is never giving up, never giving in and maintaining a positive attitude even when the devil is looking right into your face.
    Things can get so much better, but its a lot of hard work and frustration. And its also realizing that we may never be able to do all the things we did prior to our spinal problem. Please also if anything to help avoid future surgeries always remember your condition, follow your limitations and restrictions. I didnt for the most part and some of my follow on surgeries probably never would have been necessary.

    So, thats my tough cold love approach.

    That also means I care, just like so many others camping out on this site...... Take care
    Ron DiLauro Spine-Health System Administrator
    I am not a medical professional. I comment on personal experiences
    You can email me at: rdilauro@veritashealth.com
  • Anyway... I feel for you, and yes this is the place to come. If you feel horrible, go to the ER and get some relief, maybe they can hook you up with your local paim mgmt doctor too? What state are you in? In my opinion and experience, regular doc's are a joke. You have to find one that specializes in pain management. What type of medications work for you? A few weeks ago, I felt just like you, this empty black hole of BS. I still feel it's BS, but I was seriously considering killing myself. Today, I am better and I am greatful that I didn't. i would have missed watching my only 4 month old grandson friday night and then the horribly painful weekend with the bad weather moving in. LOL! I have been in your shoes, it is so awful to feel so alone, so in pain, so sick of it all, but one thing this page has taught me is you are NOT alone. Read thru some of these posts, how many are in so much pain, have been thru exactly what you are talking about and can relate. I am thankful I didn't off myself, I talk to my son-in-law who tried too many years ago and deals daily with depression (another form of pain) he says, hang on, hang on, hang on.. Push thru it and hang on, hang on, hang on. He is right. He is. I try to look at him, at one point he was so sad, so overwhelmed that he tried to end his life. Thank God he failed, because he is a wonderful son, a wonderful husband, and he gave me a beautiful grandson. He still struggles daily, but he hangs on. We all have to just hang on sometimes. that is all we can do. This page has shown me that there are many like me, who hang on daily. Take care – Marion

    I’ve learned so much here, but now I’m gonna get kicked off cuz I keep swearing.. I don’t even realize I do it.
  • dilaurodilauro ConnecticutPosts: 9,878
    by saying you didnt even realize it is an excuse that only the very young use.
    It is your responsibility just like it is for every one of the over 11,000 members that register for this site to make sure of. When you sign up for an online facility, you have to make it your job to pay close attention to the rules.

    When you first get your drivers's license, you are expected to obey those rules. If you do not first read the rules that you are expected to follow. If you decide NOT to obey those rules, then you can not drive
    Ron DiLauro Spine-Health System Administrator
    I am not a medical professional. I comment on personal experiences
    You can email me at: rdilauro@veritashealth.com
  • I don't know what else to say but that I feel what you're saying and what you're going through. But I'm in my 30's and had a chance to start my adult life and have my family before this struck me down. I'm really sorry that this hit you so early on and you do have plenty of company. I've seen posts from even teenagers here who have no business having such terrible pain and should instead be living carefree, painfree lives and looking forward to a bright future. It's so unfair and my heart goes out to you and all the young ones.

    You name it, I've been through it too and I felt helpless and afraid of what the future would hold. It's normal to feel scared, angry, sad, etc. We have the right to grieve. But we must not give up and take "there's nothing more that can be done" for an answer. I know you have family and friends who need you and they will have you no matter what condition you're in. You do serve a purpose in this world. Never give up hope. You have youth on your side so look at it as an advantage. If you don't get anywhere with one doctor, go to another. Learn all you can about chronic pain. Empower yourself.

    Please hang on and don't ever quit. Take care

  • We can all relate. Living in chronic pain is very difficult. I don't even remember what my life without pain was like. I have suffered for years and yet I manage to hold on to the dream of a brighter future. I won't give up. I have learned to accept my limitations. I am good and kind to myself. That helps. I hope you find a fantastic pain management doctor. I am very fortunate to have a doctor that wants me to feel better. He understands. You can find a great team of professionals that specialize in treating pain. You might not ever be pain free but you absolutely can be in less pain. Less pain is always good!

    Take care,
  • People who dont have chronic pain cant understand it. No matter how hard they try they cant understand what it means to live your life moment by every aching moment. Where they take walking for granted we can only wish to walk 50 feet without searing pain.

    There are truly great people out there though, people who do care. Yes some people get into the medical field for the money and that is what drives them but there are those who truly care about helping people. It seems those people are far and few in between, yes they are rare but they do exist. Dont give up, you'll find your beacon of light. I thought I would never get help until I met 1 person who changed my life.

    Remain faithful because God will always make a way. I will keep you in my prayers. Take care and God bless.
  • Hi and welcome. When I am having a "trash the house" angry day, I come to this site to make me feel better. I also am dealing with alot of the same issues you are about the Doctors I have dealt with. I went to a Pain Mgt. Dr. before my spinal fusion who said there was nothing wrong with me, to go to a shrink. Well, after the operation and my Dr. said the disc was crushed and pressing on the S-1 nerve (which is perm. damaged) I wanted to take the crushed disc with me to bring to his office and throw it at him! I am working through my anger every day with the help of meds and some good family and friends along with fellow spineys.

    FIND NEW DOCTORS! That is what I did, and I just love her. I feel she truly cares. Good luck to you even though you feel you have none. I feel for you to be going through this so young. I was in my 40's when this nightmare started. You will get alot from the caring people here!

    Take care and be kind to yourself, Donna
  • Please hang in there, the reason doctors don't believe your pain is because you are so young, My son had crohns disese he was in his twentys when it was dignoised, it was a nightmare for yearswe would take him to the ER.they all thought he was just wanting drugs, he finally found a woman doc. who believed in him, she gave him liquid morphine he died at age 39 because idoit doctors did more surgery on him and he was in to bad shape his body just coulden't handel it pluse he got a bad infection in the hospital, he wanted to dieI could write a book abot doctors and the way they treated him. I will pray for you that you will find the right doctor to,in fact I am going to pray for all on this page that have cronic pain, I to have cronic pain, but mine seems mild compared to the ones on this site.
  • Please hang in there, the reason doctors don't believe your pain is because you are so young, My son had crohns disese he was in his twentys when it was dignoised, it was a nightmare for yearswe would take him to the ER.they all thought he was just wanting drugs, he finally found a woman doc. who believed in him, she gave him liquid morphine he died at age 39 because idoit doctors did more surgery on him and he was in to bad shape his body just coulden't handel it pluse he got a bad infection in the hospital, he wanted to dieI could write a book abot doctors and the way they treated him. I will pray for you that you will find the right doctor to,in fact I am going to pray for all on this page that have cronic pain, I to have cronic pain, but mine seems mild compared to the ones on this site.
  • Im 26...been in pain for years...got to the point that i havent been able to stay out of the er for more than a week for 7 months because its unberable. I want to give up, slip into a coma, become numb from the waist down. But i cant, i have a family. But the feeling is there so often it scares me. The doc barely talks to me when i go in the er's look at me like im an addict. My PCM flat out told me that she wasn't even gonna try anything else and i can only go so far on tricare. I wont promise you it will get better. I think talking to a shrink may help. Sometimes its more to have an outside source to vent to and get advice rather than something is wrong with you mentally. Not being able to fully take care of my kids tears me apart in ways i can barely articulate. But there is always hope. Try a different doc until u can find one that truly wants to help. Go to you friends and family for support. Or hell even strangers on a website that have one thing in common that makes us all empathize because we actually do understand it. The best advice i ever got was take one day at a time. Try not to stress about tomorrow. If u can make it through today, thats all that matters. Research you a** off. Ask as many questions as u need to about your pain. Understand that while it may never go away, it may also not be the hell you are in right now. Live your life the best you can and try your hardest to have hope. And remember...we are always here if you need to vent.
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