To all of you that have been patient with all my questions...thank you for your support. It has been a wonderful thing to have found this web site.
When all this started in April 2007, and my back completely spasmed so bad I couldn't turn the stering wheel of my truck, I never dreamed I would be here Sept 2009. Like other people I thought it was an isolated incident and never dreamed that years later, lots of money, time and energy later I would in the shape I find myself today.
The pain in my sternum like a knife is driving thru me has never left me. Since then, I have lost most of ROM of neck and shoulders. Pain radiates from jaw line to bra line and down my arms. I have gone thru all the shots, pt, radiofrequency, botox and exams that I can stand. The last 6 months being the worst. If the doctor was right at the ER I went to in June, where they performed a CT scan, the test tomorrow will show the moderate herniation.
I have 2 young children 7 and 9, run a small gardening business (which I love), have 2 elderly parents with their own health issues. I have been able to work thru these years - but that is only because of pain medication. And this season, sometimes that hasn't even made it possible.
My point is for one more time, I ask of you for some good karma - tomorrow's appt. of xray, repeat mri, 1 doctor for the antibody test follow up that came back positive and 1 doctor appt with the neurosurgeon really will be - I am expecting - perhaps conclusive or at the least directive to my journey.
My biggest fear is to be dismissed - they seem to blame the horrible state my muscles are in for all the pain and so on. I don't disagree that my muscles are horrible, but why can't they shut off. No medication has made a dent, not even botox shut the trap muscles off. I can't brush my teeth with my right hand anymore and my bladder has been having a mind of its own lately (dry since Friday though).
Like all here - I just want a shot at having less pain. I wish to get back to my life - I want to play with my kids without having to wince, I want to do my job which I love and I wish to be able to pay attention to my parents who need my help too. I know this doctor hasn't been obsessing about this appt like I have for the last 6 weeks - I just hope that tomorrow I may have some answers and directions - JUST NO DISMISSAL!
thank you all for reading - I can be long winded - just very nervous about tomorrow - glad it is here, but scared it is here.