well today, Sept 29th, was supposed to be the day I had my decompression and instrumented fusion operation (L4/5).
Unfortunately the operation has been postponed at the last minute. I live in Edinburgh, Scotland – this is the UK National Health Service. So here I am at home, wishing it was all over and I don’t even know when I will be having it or who will be doing it. I am not getting any answers from the hospital. My surgeon leaves to take up a new post in Ireland tomorrow, and there is no replacement for him in post yet. I have asked if I can transfer to another doctor’s list and they said they would look into it; otherwise I have to wait for the replacement to turn up – whoever it may be. (There is talk of a (random) temp coming in). If a new person turns up and I don't rate his experience in this area, I can try and get on someone else's list but the waiting starts all over again. I cannot afford to pay privately for the operation, so I have very little control over what happens. I can only afford to be off work so long, because I won’t get sick pay; so obviously I am really worried. I stopped work a few weeks ago because the pain and then the pain meds meant I just couldn’t function properly.
I spent the last few weeks getting my head round having to have this, and had got myself really positive, looking forward to my new life after recovery. Also,my friend had arranged holiday from work to look after me for the first week.
I think it is the uncertainty of it that is getting to me. I am sure the people who are getting surgery today instead of me had a greater need than I do, just makes you wonder if you have to be a total emergency to get to the top of the list. At this rate I will always be a lower priority, and I have heard of others getting postponed several times in a row. I surely hope that’s not me, but hey, I can’t do anything about it anyway! Sorry, just needed a moan. Sometimes you have to just laugh (hysterically) or you would cry…