I am here as a last resort. I do not know what else to do.I am a 32 year old male who was in a car accident a little over 2 years ago where a guy ran a stop sign and slammed into my vehicle going 60+mph. Immediately I knew something was wrong. The first thing I remember feeling was a shock in my lower back. I went right to the ER to make sure I was ok, and they said that I had muscle atrophy and obviously recommended that I seek a specialist. After a few MRI's my Dr. said I had herniated/bulged discs in L3,L4, and L5SI, degenerative discs in mid-back as well as a torn rotator cuff and arthritis in my neck.
Now, what needs to be stated to understand what kind of condition I was in prior to the accident is that I have been in excellent physical shape my entire life. I played soccer for eight years and Ice hockey through college. Of course I have had the usual muscle aches and stiffness, but nothing painful and never anything that stretching and a little Motrin couldn't handle.
Now, after 7 MRI's and countless injections, PT, and most recently a Discogram (9/28/09) I am now in worse shape than ever.
Aside from the pain and the inconvenience of trying to find time for treatment while juggling work, my kids and a minimal social life, I feel that I have hit a dead end. I am in jeopardy of losing my job in management and have a wife that is about as supportive as a jockstrap on a camel.
My life is systematically falling apart. I do not know what to do. No one in my life seems to know what I am going through. My wife downplays my pain and tells me that I need to find a way to work through it and keep working 50-80 hours a week. My pain has increased since the Discogram three days ago, and now I rely on a cane to help me get around the house - mainly for going up and down steps and bending over as well as getting up.
I am sure that I am not the only one who feels alone and misunderstood, but right now I feel as if I am on my own.
I feel guilty bc I cannot do all of the things I used to do with my kids, and do not want them to pay for my constant pain. How can I be a good father if I can barely tolerate the pain or do the things a father normally does with his kids..?
I used to be a fun person to be around, full of vitality, but now I am a recluse with the weight of the world on his shoulders. I am depressed and overwhelmed with my chronic pain. My wife seems to have given up on me when I needed her the most. I do not know what to do. Does anyone have any suggestions?
Thank you for reading, I look forward to any help or ideas.