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Opinions Needed From My Spiney Friends

lisa burekllisa burek Posts: 855
edited 06/11/2012 - 8:36 AM in Back Surgery and Neck Surgery
Hi Everyone,

My ALIF is scheduled for Nov. 18th and my Surgeon said to have the family come in a month before so he can go over with them what will be done and what restrictions I will be under and how they can help.

My question is, should I bring my almost 5 year old daughgter ? I'm definitely bringing hubby and 7 year old, but now am questioning bringing the younger one. I don't sugarcoat anything with them, I think the truth is the best (we just had to euthanize our dog and they knew the what and how's of it) But I guess I am just thinking it might be a little bit much for her.

I don't know....any thoughts on this?


  • :H Just a quick thought -- I don't have children but I know a few (LOL!) so my opinion is squat.

    I'd give your doctor's office a call and speak with his nurse and ask her if she thinks the talk with the doctor is appropriate for a 5 year old.

    Best of luck with the surgery and sincerely wish you pain free days ahead. :D

  • Delta, when I make the appt. I'll ask the office what they think.

    Bubblegum, I think you are right, a lot will just go over her head. I think "Mommy-angst" is getting to me!!
  • dilaurodilauro ConnecticutPosts: 9,839
    view on this.
    I would first approach your 5 year old daughter and discuss this with her. She may or may not understand everything that is being said.
    But, I believe in providing them with as much information as possible. So for me, yes I would bring my 5 year old with me to listen. Its amazing what they may retain.

    Its not so much that they understand the details, but when

    Mommy is out of the hospital and not feeling too good, it would be good for any child to have some understanding about that. They may not understand the surgery, but they will understand that Mommy is hurting.
    Ron DiLauro Spine-Health System Administrator
    I am not a medical professional. I comment on personal experiences
    You can email me at: rdilauro@veritashealth.com
  • I have sole custody - of my kids. Have had them for 11 years since the crash[what I called the mess]

    And I can tell you for a fact, that a 5 year old know exactly what is going on. They may not have the words to get out thier worries about it, but they know that things are going on. [My back was heck too, during that time]

    My 5 year old was sharper that my 11 year old, at that time.

    I would include her in the visit. I know believe that she was quite ahead of her time, but it did help her to have all of the info in front of her to make her own decisions and thoughts. You might have another care giver available at the visit to take her out, if she gets bored with it too.

    I know this would be really hard to organize, but I know what my daughter was like back then.

    Peace - trust things work out for you - David
  • I showed my 4 year old the animated surgery on this web site. I explained to him that I would have a really big boo boo. That it would be inside and out side. I talked about how i wouldnt be able to pick him up, but that he could always come and sit or lay by me. That I couldnt get on the floor and play but we would play games on the table or bed, and I would read stories and watch movies with him. He understood everything and even watched my husband change my dressing once. He asked why there were nails in my back, i explained that they were not nails but special staples for people. He understood my boo boo better after seeing it. He thinks its taking to long to get better :) but is very gentle and carefull around me most of the time.
    Kids are very smart, and usually compassionate.Just explain things in a language they understand.
    God Bless and good luck, Shirley
  • I pretty much felt that I would bring her to the appt. but just hearing your input makes me feel better about including her, your thoughts validate my feelings. Thanks to all of you, Lisa
  • I can tell you that when you exclude a child from anything for any reason, they know about it and they feel left out. She'll probably understand a lot of it and it will make her feel important and thoughtful toward your situation. I say take her with you.


    3 level spinal fusion, L3/4, L4/5, L5/S1, November 2008. Stiff, but I can walk.
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