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hi all (long boring post)

AnonymousUserAAnonymousUser Posts: 49,671
edited 06/11/2012 - 8:37 AM in New Member Introductions
hello folks

I am so glad I found this forum, let me tell you a bit about me. I am a 50 yr old female :OO

I first hurt my back when doing a simple household task in Oct 07. At that point it was suggested that I should have surgery as an MRI had confirmed a L4-L5 prolapse. I declined as I wanted to see if conservative treatment would work. After 5 months of unrelenting pain and decreasing mobility I was left with no other option but to agree to a microdiscectomy which was done in March 08

This led to immediate relief before the pain came sxcreaming back with the post op swelling which of course was to be expected. I progressed slowly over the next 12 months albe it I was still on tramadol, arthrotec and gabapentin. By March I was desperate to reduce my meds and was in fact walking regularly doing 5-6 mile walks in all terrains.

in July we got a new bed as hubby was suffeting lots of joint and muscle pain and we decoeded on a memory foam bed. he found it excellent but for me it was a tad sopft and I had issues turning over. About 2 weeks aftyer we got it I turned and fely a pop and pain screaming down my leg. This time it reached my toes (pre op it was to my knee, post op swelling made it reach toes)

I felt as though I was back at the begining again. I have had the tramadol increased along with the gabapentin being maxed out but I am still in agony. We are going to get a new bed tomorrow after I finally admitted defeat.

To be honest, I dont know why I am posting apart from the fact that I have been reading the forums and see other people with problems too and realise that I am not alone and that this is not all in my head.

I can feel the black cloud of depression hovering over me and I know that I am heading down that slippery slope. I am crying daily over silly things, I am waking at 2am nightly, I have no concentration and I am so irritable. I am seeing my doctor today and will tell her about this as I don't know if the depression is being triggered by the horrendous chronic pain or some domestic issues that we have (my mum lives with us and hubby and her are not really seeing eye to eye since he was made redundant although they got on so well)

Bah, now I have bored you all to tears (|: Thanks for letting me get all this out as so much has been getting bottled up.


  • Hi mudgekin,

    First let me say hi ya and welcome to spine-health. You will find alot of members going through or have gone through what you are. They truly do understand what comes with chronic pain. Hopefully, your doctor will have some answers for you to help out some. But do feel free to share with us. While we are not doctors we have some great ears and really do understand. You may want to check out the Low back pain forum as well. Also some great members in depression as well. Anyway just wanted to welcome you to spine-health and look forward to reading more of your post.
  • hi and welcome to the forum! :H we are here to offer you support and answer what questions we can. i am sorry your surgery did not turn out to be a success. now you are in more pain and back to a new bed. i do hope that brings you some relief! you will find plenty of spineys suffering from depression as you are. it seems to go hand in hand. plese get alittle rest and know that we are here for you! :D good luck with the new bed! Jenny
  • Thank you so much for that warm welcome guys. I love the term spineys, it makes you feel part of a group (I'm not making sense)

    I think part of this is the desperation to try and get back to what I consider "me" and perhaps having to accept that I shall never be as fit as I was before my back injury. I feel so sorry for my hubby as he is doing almost everything around the house. I am managing to work. I am an ex nurse who now has an office job but by the time I get home I am almost sobbing with exhaustion and pain. At work the attitude is "pfft, you have a sore back, everyone gets a sore back" Financially I have to work esp since hubby was made redundant.

    Intimacy has disapeared :( Well we still kiss and cuddle but you know what I mean ~blush~ and there has never been any complaint from hubby but I feel so darned guilty about it. I think I feel like a total burden and when I was so upset last night I told him he would be better off if I was dead. Of course he told me not to be so silly.

    acks..I have done it again..I am rambling..take care till my next ramble session
  • Welcome to Spine-Health Mudgekin. Don't worry about rambling - that's how we get to know you a little better.

    Your depression is probably caused by the never ending pain, but the other issues you mentioned would open up the pain gates even more. When I was working, I'd come home in a similar state to you but thankfully most of my colleagues understood my pain issues. I became depressed when I thought I'd have to spend the rest of my life in pain, but when the third neurosurgeon I saw agreed to do the surgery, it gave me hope and my pain isn't as bad as it was.

    Keep up the cuddling and kissing - it's better than nothing and your hubby sounds like he's very understanding.

    Hope you doctor has been able to help you. Did he suggest a new MRI?


    XLIF L2-4 20.8.15
    ALIF L4/5 2009
    Laminectomy/discectomy L4/5 2008
  • Hi Mudgekin,

    You certainly have joined a great group of spineys! Rant and vent all you want and need to here. Thats what we are here for, to listen and share our experiences with you.

    And, by the way, there is no such thing as an ex nurse just because you are not doing that job anymore. Once a nurse, always a nurse, lol. I worked as an LPN for 30 years. Your skills and knowledge will always be a part of you. Your compassion and experiences as a nurse will be very supportive to many on this site. Helping others here will help with your depression. We do not give medical advice as members, but we sure do know how to empathize with others.

    Come join us in chat sometime.

    Best wishes to you,

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