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Trying to Cope with another surgery Updated

iowarobiniiowarobin Posts: 1,268
edited 06/11/2012 - 8:37 AM in Depression and Coping
Hi all. Well yesterday I went to the otolaryngologist at Iowa City for pre op for surgery Oct 26 in Iowa City. He told me how they were going to shave a small band of hair from ear to ear on the top of my head. Then they will make the incision and pull my scalp forward over my face... They then will drill a hole and go in after the bone tumor and remove it and rebuild the eye socket from bone from the back of my skull. Then they will put a titanium plate and some bone stuff over the hole. Then pull scalp back and staple the incision once they have placed drains.
Reality hit me, big time. I am so scared now. I am still hurting from the fusion and hardware removal and it just never seems to stop. Ever.. I am gonna look like a reverse skunk. I could be like cousin eddy and go by the microwave and wet myself..Trying to find some kind of humor so I dont cry.
We closed our convienience store. Just couldnt see it working ever. I havnt worked in 4 years, and going down to one income has sucked. I cant go shopping, cause to many medical bills and even if, my back kills me from the trip

. You know sometimes, it just seems like nothing in my life

is ever going to be normal again. I just want a half way normal life back. I want to work and see my friends. I try to be upbeat, but honestly, there isnt much light at the end of the proverible tunnel.
Ok Well its only 1 day until the surgery. I sat down and thought about the last two years and realized that this will be my 9th surgery in 2 years. No wonder I get depressed. Never really thought about it in those terms. But, this is gotta be it folks. I dont think I can take much more. I wasnt really scared about the fusion, I was so excited about trying to get my back fixed...Now this one is so different..Just pray for me, please. I just have some different feelings about this time. But I do think that it will be ok. So, until I get home, keep me in your prayers, because the big C is not known until I wake up from surgery. Love ya all, see ya later this week...Love, Robin
Thanks for letting me vent. I just know that my friends here understand my pain and the unknown we all face. This surgery has to be like the last one. DOnt think I can take much more. Hope you all have a good day.


  • Good grief, I am so sorry to hear what you are up against. Of course you are upset. Just know that your SH friends are here for you and wish you the best. I'll be thinking of you, Lisa
  • doesn't really seem to say very much. I am sorry for all your pain, for all your losses and all of your fear.

    I hope nothing but goodness comes your way very very soon friend. I can't imagine how scared you must be, but I hope that you find peace and that God gives you some comfort in knowing you WILL comeback from ALL of this. You are in my prayers Robin, I hope you know you can ALWAYS find us here at SH. Don't lose hope-EVER!

    Wishing a speedy recovery!!

  • Get ready -- here comes Miss Touchy Feely!

    Sending you lots of >:D< >:D< >:D< >:D< >:D< >:D< >:D< >:D< and many O:) O:) O:) O:) O:) O:) O:) O:) to watch over you.

    You know I'm having a rotten day today but your post just gave me a reality check. Bless your heart, you need a big bunch of TLC from family and friends and certainly from all of us on SH.

    By the way, Skunks are all the rage in fashion this fall season! Robin, I've got your back -- anything I can provide in the way of support via the internet -- you've got it. Are you making sure you'll have everything you need post op at the house to make you as comfy as possible. Do you have people who can make runs to pick up meds and someone to bring food over for a little while while your hubby takes care of you. I would do it in a heartbeat if I lived close by. I guess never having kids I tend to take care of all my friends when they're ailing.

    Just know I'll be sending up some prayers to the BIG GUY in the sky to take extra care of you. Hey, I hate being scared (only on Halloween) -- you know, nothing is as scary as the fear of the unknown and if you look back on all you've been scared of before and how you made it thru and are still here -- that should bring you a little comfort for the upcoming surgery. Your doctor is well qualified to do this type of surgery so let thim do the worrying and you concentrate on getting well afterwards.

    Sending you lots of encouragement :D , take care,

  • I'm sorry about the difficult times you're having right now. Like the others, it's hard to find the right words to help, so I just want to let you know I'm thinking about you and wishing you a speedy surgery and recovery.

    We'll be here for you before, during and after all this. You're a very strong lady and have made it through so much already so I know you'll make it through all this too.

    Take care, Robin. There are a lot of people who care about you and sending you hugs, love and prayers, me included.

  • I'm so sorry I've been MIA for a while. Won't go into my problems here. Will try to get another post in this weekend.

    I cannot say how sorry I am to hear that you are facing another surgery. >:D< >:D< >:D< >:D< >:D< I would be terrified. I'm hoping this means that after the surgery you will be fine and the tumor will be completely gone. I'm going to be praying for you.

    I know what you mean about the lost income and pain interferring all the time with life. It SUCKS big time. You have been so much. I hope that after this surgery that you will be turning that corner and be healthy, painfree, and back to normal soon.

    BTW, I thought about you the other day at the grocery store. Jell-O came out with new flavors; one is margarita!! I'm thinking that changing the recipe from 1 cup of cold water to 1 cup of cold tequila would make it really good!! =)) Probably shouldn't try it on the mountain of pain killers I'm on. Tempted to put the pills aside for a day and give Jell-O a try instead. =)) =)) =)) =)) =))

    Thinking about you, sending lots of >:D< >:D< >:D< >:D< >:D< >:D< >:D< >:D< >:D< >:D< , and praying for you.
  • Hey Fellow Spineys,

    Wouldn't it be great if we all lived near one another and could help each other out? (No, not some crazy commune), DeltaLady's post, saying if she was close to Robin she'd help, made me think the same, of course we would! I know, I know, I'm just day-dreaming (or sleep deprived), but I wish I had at least a few of you near that I could help, and vice-versa.
  • I tried to think of something profound to say that would really make a difference but I can't think of anything....no talent on my behalf!LOL!I sincerely wish you the best of luck! You have bravely fought enough battles for a lifetime.I hope this is your last surgery! Enough already! However, I realize this time is quite different and more worrisome....I just know you are going to come home with good news and feeling much better! Many blessings and good wishes coming your way!

  • I am fine. Just getting ready to face another surgery on Monday. This one has me more scared, as they dont know what kind of tumor. But,,I will be ok cause all my friends here are praying and thinking of me and thats the biggest help I can have right now. My back is status quo. Not much different, but I think I am seeing a little improvment. Not sure. But I will talk to ya after I get home. Hopefully my surgeon will give me a small facelift while I am at it. I figure after all I have been through, I deserve something!!!LOL Will have surgery at 11:15 on Monday and last 2-3 hours. Will be there until the drainage stops. Anywhere from 2-3 days if all goes well. Thanks everybody and see ya next week...
  • >:D< :D >:D<

    Hey! Are you eastern, central, mountain or pacific time? I need to know that I'm praying for you on the right time zone (LOL!) on Monday.

    Yeah, tell that surgeon you want the holiday special! A 2 for 1 deal! No reason you can't get a little nip/tuck -- Of course, I always think they need to pull my skin from my toes all the way up to my head!

    I know you're scared out of your mind about this surgery, so just close your eyes and think of all of your spiney friends laying our hands on you and sending you our strength and love and prayers -- so you'll know that you are not alone and a powerful force across the world is sending positive energy your way for a successful surgery and recovery.

    Thinking of you -- got your back!

  • Thanks for the comforting words. I am in central time, and I know I will feel all the love. I did the last time! It helps to know all my friends are there thinking of me..Till We talk again, Love ya, Robin
  • Getting all the details on how the surgery will be done can definitely give you the heebie jeebies. I'm sure they'll give you something to relax you on the morning before your surgery. My prayers will be for you Monday morning. Know that your support here for all of us makes you such a valuable member here.

    Best wishes to you,

  • Dear Robin,

    You have been on my mind all day today. I'm sure you are getting things ready to go for tomorrow and trying to keep your mind occupied. (I bet your phone is ringing off the hook... lol).

    You have so many people who will be thinking of you and also saying prayers for you tomorrow. Take all of our warm thoughts and good wishes with you, on the drive to the hospital. When you are wheeled to your room, picture dozens of colorful flowers surrounding you... from your Spiney friends/family. (No sneezing, though!).

    It will be such a relief to get this surgery taken care of and I truly hope your recovery goes well and you will have minimal pain.

    I look forward to seeing your name pop up on Spine-Health, once you get home and are able to send a message.

    Love ya bunches,

    Tammy >:D<
  • Thinking of you for tomorrow. Sending you a prayer also. O:) Hopefully the surgery will be the last one. You've been through so much. Take care. Charry
    DDD of lumbar spine with sciatica to left hip,leg and foot. L4-L5 posterior disc bulge with prominent facets, L5-S1 prominent facets with a posterior osteocartilaginous bar. Mild bilateral foraminal narrowing c-spine c4-c7 RN
  • I am so sorry that you have this going on, on top of all that you've been through with your back. If anyone can get through this, that person is you because you are so strong and determined to get better. We're behind you all the way and pray that this surgery will take care of everything. Hang on sweetie, you'll be okay and everyone will be praying for you.

    Hugs, Meydey >:D<
  • j.howiejj.howie Brentwood, Ca., USAPosts: 1,732
    I am thinking of you and will say a special prayer. I did not know all of this was going on!
    I lived in Ames, Iowa from age 2 to 7 And back for summer vac. with grand parents.
    Good luck, Jim
    Click my name to see my Medical history
    You get what you get, not what you deserve......I stole that from Susan (rip)
    Today is yours to embrace........ for tomorrow, who knows what might be starring you in the face!
  • Sending you many many many prayers, >:D< >:D< >:D< >:D< >:D< >:D< >:D< >:D< >:D< >:D< and a :* . I'm anxiously awaiting your next update. Praying that all goes well. If you here a raspy cheer, it's me. I have a sinus and ear infection and I always lose my voice. Sexy huh??? :))( (Trying to get a smile)

    Thinking about you and praying for you.
  • Robin,
    Well, today is the day! Thinking about you today, hope all goes well! Looking forward to hearing an update when you're up to it!

    Spiney hugs :hug:
  • Hi Guys,

    Anyone knows an update on Robin's surgery?

    Thank you all,
  • Well it is 3:45 AM on Weds and just thought I would give you a update. The surgery went well, about 3 hours. They took a sample of the tumor and it had some odd cells and fibrous cells. Not quite sure about all this, but they took out tumor and Dr said he took extra bone all the way around to make sure they got it all. Pathology wont have it back for a good week, but he felt it wasnt malignant.
    My head throbbs from the staples. And also the drains. I am supposed to get one of the drains out today, and if it is down enough, the other one tomm. SO all is well so far. Kind of sick to stomache, and pain in head, but doing ok. WIll update you when I get home.
  • Robin, great news that the surgery went well!! I'm sure the pathology results will be good too. Thanks for the update, now go rest and heal up my friend!
  • So good to hear that your surgery is over. You must be so thrilled it is done. It sounds good that the doctor thought it was not malignant. Hope you feel better soon.

    Best wishes,

  • That is very good news. I hope you continue to do well and heal quickly. Your great attitude inspires me, you are a true warrior. Keep up the good fight Robin!

    Faith M
  • LizLiz Posts: 7,832
    Hi Robin

    I am so glad your surgery went well, and the doctor thinks the tumor is not malignant, I will be thinking of you while you wait for the final results.
    Looks like the doctor did a good job and soon you will be well enough to return home.


    Liz, Spine-health Moderator

    Spinal stenosis since 1995
    Lumber decompression surgery S1 L5-L3[1996]
    Cervical stenosis, so far avoided surgery
  • That is good news. Rest up and post when you feel up to it. Thanks for letting us know that you are okay!

  • O:) O:) O:) O:)

    Sounds like good news -- God does answer prayers! -- You just get some rest and take your pain meds and we'll all be happy to chat with you when you're up to it.

    Sending you several >:D< >:D< >:D< --

    Take good care of yourself,

  • Glad you made it through surgery! Yeah! I was praying for you girl! Hope you get to feeling better real soon!!

    Your spiney friends love ya!

  • Very happy to hear all went well and your on the road to a recovery :)
    L1 - S2 "gone" useless in 1 way or another. DDD. RA. Bone Spurs. Tons of nerve damage/issues. Stenosis. Both knees replaced. 50 yrs old. I had a great fall (hence my user name) at age 41 and it has been a domino effect every since.
  • I can't imagine how difficult this has been for you. Many of us are wishing we could be there to give you a big, gentle hug. I don't post nearly as often as you do but I always look forward to hearing from you. You are a bright light. Keep us informed. You remain in our thoughts and prayers for a quick recovery.
  • Well I got home from hospital at 4 oo pm. Have a nice halloween costume and dont even have to dress up. But it is pretty much over now, just waiting for path report. I want to thank all of you for your warm wishes and prayers. I felt them all through out my stay. It was a scarey thing, and the wasnt real bad, except taking out the drains. I know taking out the 50 or so staples will be the next hurdle. But I am glad I cut my hair short, man,,the after effects of surgery are not pleasant, and having longer hair would have been a real mess. They did try to shampoo my hair in one of those portable bed things. It helped but it is gonna take time. The nurses were awesome and I felt very well cared for. Now, I have to heal from this and get my back healed up. Taking out the hardware has not done alot yet, still crossing my fingers. Weekend will be good, my kids and grandbabies will be home to make me feel better. I am feeling better, with the help of nausea pills, they say that this type of surgery and ear surgery generally makes you feel ill afterwards. Probably the balance thing. Anyway, Thanks to all of you, and I will update my progress as it goes on. Love ya all and I couldnt have faced it without ya!!!! >:D< >:D<
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