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Laughing thru it all

alcbaalcb Posts: 140
edited 06/11/2012 - 8:37 AM in Depression and Coping
I think sometimes that those of us that have to deal with chronic pain have...um...unique senses of humor, and daily living. To lighten the mood, and hopefully make people smile.....I'd like to share some of my "funnies" and see what else is out there that can make people smile! Please contribute!!

Ok....have you ever wondered whether you farted during surgery in front of the whole OR team?

How about...have you had to poll your family on who was going to be the next to "walk" mom (like a dog)?

Have you ever thought that having a BM while on narcotics deserved a ticker-tape parade?

Have you ever forgot and rubbed your backside in public b/c your sciatic nerve hurt, and the person next to you thought it was an "itch" instead of a "rub" and moved over a few steps?

I think you have to look at the funny side every now and then or you'll go crazy! Add your thoughts and enjoy the laughs!!!



  • Oh yeah! Good thread, I feel the same way!

    I used to make up stories about why I was wearing a back brace. Ranged from karate incident, water skiing accident, salsa dancing gone wild, etc. I'm past that stage for the moment, anyway.

    Now I enjoy being able to say I have an electric butt(scs) and watching people's faces. I have to get something out of this mess! :)

    One time my hubby had to work at a rap concert. He came home laughing, and everyone assigned themselves rapper names. They named me Triple V(Vicodin, Valium, and Vistaril) because that combo provided them the most entertainment. That's when I talked to the Easter Bunny and such.

    I think we HAVE to have a sense of humor to get by. What makes it funnier for me is when non-spiney's hear me make fun of myself and are horrified. Makes it even funnier for me!

    And by the way-a good number of people really do fart on the table. Think about that-you're on your stomach, butt up in the air. But they have good exhaust fans in the OR.
  • ERNurse you crack me up! Honestly, I never thought of the FACT that I might have errr, ummmm...released gas on the table! Tooooo funny!

    Okay, here's some...

    You know how people sometimes tell each other their "screwed up?" I let people know I have x-ray proof that I am! Until they look close at my neck, they are a bit confused, then they laugh!

    Or... I can be "A pain in the neck"... "Why yes, I do have and am a pain in the neck, have the scars to prove it too."

    My hubby tells his co-workers ..."My wife is working on having her bionic neck modified again!"

    You're both right, there is a "sick" sense of humor with a lot of this. Who can you laugh at if you can't laugh at yourself right!!!


    Sorry, the farting is killing me!! ROFLA!!!!
    PCTF C4 - T2, Laminectomies C5, C6 & C7. Severe Palsy left arm/hand.
  • I have NEVER been a fan of farting-EVER- Never has been my speciality so to speak. After surgery I was SO bloated from all the air they pumped me with. A few weeks afterwards my husband I went to look at a new home. After walking through the house and asking lots of ?'s the home saleman walked us outside. As I went to shake the mans hand I farted SO loud I thought for sure I had crapped my pants. I wanted to jump in front of a moving truck- I was completely horrified! THANK God above that the wind was whipping 100MPH so no green haze could be seen and no awful smell stuck around. When we got into the truck I thought for sure that my husband was going to torture me- he never said a single word and neither did I. That night I was laughing so hard to the point of tears at what had happened. My husband about fell out of his chair from laughing- but swears he never heard anything. Still today -5 week post op, they are STILL flying out like nobodies business- I sure hope it stops soon- nothing like walking through Walmart farting along the way! LOL It still makes me laugh!

  • Angie....I am SO with you on the farting thing. I thought about the position and thought it was a "moment" waiting to happen! I've been horrified all day thinking about my 8 hr surgery and figuring the odds were against me! Your post op stories are the best!!! You had me laughing so hard before my 1st surgery...it really took the edge off!

    Brenda-you said it exactly! We have a "sick" sense of humor!! I've also had people laugh when I have xrays to prove I had a screw loose...or when I explain that I'm no longer bio-degradeable!!

    Leo---OH MY GAWD!!!!! I was reading your post at work and was ready to wet my pants laughing so hard!!!! I SWORE after my surgery I was going to have "buns of steel" from walking around with my cheeks clenched trying to hold it all in!!!! baaahaaahaaaa!!!!

    Another one.....at any point have you looked at someone with a walker/scooter/cane and thought.....sa-weet I gotta get me one of those!!!! (I've done this...and the object of my envy was a walker being used by a woman in her 90's! ---SERIOUSLY!!)
    Had your back get aggrivated, and your "hoo-ha" fall asleep in the grocery line !?!

    Keep them coming! these are really funny, and maybe someone having a down day can benefit? Either that, or no one likes them b/c no one has the same sense of humor I do (basically the equivalent to a 10 yr old boy!) he-he

    :) Andrea

  • OMG, my husband is wondering why I'm laughing so hard!!!

    Andrea-I saw a woman with some kind of problem with this little push scooter that she knelt one leg on. I told my husband that if I cut off my leg(I was serious at the time) I could use that! I then proceeded to march up to her in the Mexican restaurant and quiz her about cost, etc. while she tried to eat her chips and salsa.

    And yes, after sitting straight up my hootie and bootie go numb, so I told my scs reps I needed a program labeled "Hootie/Bootie" to take care of that pain.

    While I had screws, I said, "I'm screwed" or "My screws are loose" but they're gone now, can't say that anymore.

    I have to go for a court date unrelated to my back, wait till those poor baliffs make me walk through the metal detector and then have to pat me down. I think I'll say, "Can I have the cute one do it?" LOL, yeah, my sense of humor is warped too!

    Oh wait, forgot this one. Someone asked me why I was carrying around my TV remote control(my scs controller.) I told the truth, but then realized there are endless possibilities of fun answers for that one.
  • My surgery is 1 month away, and as if I didn't have enough to worry about, now I have to worry about passing gas during my surgery??!!? Hah! There's worse things that could happen, I could start to ramble in my doped up state and say something like " I'd trade my husband for Handy Manny from the kids show" or, "wow, Dr. so-and-so, could you give me a boob job while you do my back surgery?" or
    "Who smells like cooked cabbage?"
    "Did I return my library books?"
    "Why am I here?"

    Hope someone got a chuckle or two.
  • I am in law enforcement, thus it takes a LOT to get me upset or even get me to blush! People are so rude as we all know. I have 2 scars on the front of my neck now - one isn't real obvious as it is now white and too in the natural crease of my neck. My latest is only 8 weeks old, and is still red, visible and not in a crease. Okay....

    My hubby and I dropped into a bar/restaurant to eat and have a couple of brews. We're happily talking this and that, and this dude next to me in a fairly loud voice points at my neck an asks.."Hey lady, what's up with the scar? You mugged or som-thun?" I just looked at him and said "No, it was an attempted mugging and I sliced the guy even worse than he did me!" I am only 5'3" and the look on this guys face was to die for!!! He was still staring at me and I told him, "No man, I had surgery - and thanks for letting the whole place know I have a scar on my neck." This guy then slid to the end of the bar and didn't say another word to anyone. :-)

    While most of us won't set off an airport metal detector, you will at the Kennedy Space Center!! They have that sucker set to like zero tolerance! I think their screener's are more embarrassed than anything when they "wand" your neck in front of everyone! Luv it!!

    Here's something most don't think of? Warning, sick sense of humor with a bit of truth coming!!! Thanks to the plate, screws etc., I have a permanent "ID" with me all the time! No DNA test needed if we are dust in a fire - serial numbers track right too us! Hey now, this IS a benefit of hardware, right?

    Farting in surgery...hehehehe - still cracking me up!

    PCTF C4 - T2, Laminectomies C5, C6 & C7. Severe Palsy left arm/hand.
  • She can't get away with disfiguring my body and dumping it now! She is stuck with me :D

    She'd have to take out my shoulder, my teeth, My SCS. The lead, oh and the clavicle as it is VERY oddly broken, healed and identifiable I am sure... Oh, wait, 4 vertebrae too!

    She'd need to take me to the cannibals and have them make soup or something =))

    They'd freak when they saw the titanium chunk in my shoulder! probably go running into the rainforest screaming! :))(
  • are terrible. I had them bad after surgery also. Didnt know if I did during surgery or not. My grown daughter always gives me a bad time. They are Larry the Cable Guy fans, and he did a segment on this. He called them the walking farts, so thats what we call them now.
    Wow, cant believe I am writing about farts.... =))
  • Now if feel real stupid for even relaying that!!!
  • The only story I have is a few days before I was married(1992) I had to visit my brother out of town because he went in hospital and stayed at one of those popular hotels and I ate a salad there which a couple of hours later had me sweat out one double bed and move to the next bed and sweat that one out and hug the toilet all night long. I had to go for a colonoscopy where they found I had salmonella food poisoning and was bloated and had cramps so I had my husband of a few days buy me a fleet enema and all night I was tooting up the place I was kind of embarrassed being newly married... Well it's funny now anyway. LMAO at your stories. Charry
    DDD of lumbar spine with sciatica to left hip,leg and foot. L4-L5 posterior disc bulge with prominent facets, L5-S1 prominent facets with a posterior osteocartilaginous bar. Mild bilateral foraminal narrowing c-spine c4-c7 RN
  • The worst part is not finding out what you did, but wondering what you did and no one is telling you. I'm typing from the hospital room now. I don't think I've told anyone about the cats who keep trying to use the asthma inhalers, but I'm not sure. I did have to tell one nurse about the python she was going to step on, I thought that was just common courtesy, my mom did raise me with some manners.

    So what have I said that I don't remember? If they haven't told me then it is probably really bad. I'm pretty suree I haven't mentioned the little mice running across my bed.
  • This is old, old, but when I was about 10 years old my dad spent hours and hours painting a paint by numbers of the last supper. He then framed it and hung it on the wall over the couch.

    Forward to when I was about 12, I had the flu, was running a screaming high temp and sleeping on the couch. I know I hallucinated various things those nights, but the one night. I remember being 100% sure that painting was going to FALL ON ME!. Barely able to stand I got up and took it off the wall and put it in the corner before passing out on the couch again. I never did have a good reason to tell my dad why I took it down. I was so sick at about 4:00am on Christmas morning they took me to the ER. Maybe that's why dad never yelled about me taking it down?
  • I know what you mean Angie! I always wondered what goofy things they ask you on versed....and you answer! My patients always hallucinated about spiders for some reason!?

    After this last surgery, I forgot to set my alarm on like post op day 5, and slept thru taking my meds for like 8 hrs.....holy mother of God!!! When I woke up I was literally blinded by pain! For some reason though....I hallucinated, or associated, that I was an alien bug (think roly-poly bug) and I was shedding the layers of my shell! I was up fumbling around trying to find my meds and looking around me to see where I was "dropping" my "skins/shells". As if that wasn't weird enough...I told myself that the layers were the pain falling away (after I took my meds) and it worked!? Where's Will Smith and the MIB when you need them? =))
  • i didn't even remember the python business till I started reading my posts. See, I have this problem. I compulsively have to get online when I'm on high dose meds in the hospital. I tend to send emails. I read one where I said I had outlined a plan to save the whales(not a cause near and dear to me, not that i don't like whales) and told my husband I was contacting the media. Hmm. I just don't remember that. Well, last night in the hospital I started doing my Xmas shopping online. I hope I ordered good stuff.

    Why in the **** does my hubby let me have a computer and a credit card in the hospital????

    I also swore there was an old lady ghost sitting in the chair in my room but was afraid to tell the nurses cuz then they might take away the PCA. So I just turned on all the lights, ghost left, and the mice came back! :)

    You are so right, we have to laugh. I know I'll be laughing when people open their Xmas presents this year!!!!
  • jlrfryejjlrfrye ohioPosts: 1,110
    When I have to take all my meds because of a real bad flair up and am bed ridden, dont know why but I call everyone I know to chat. My friends say I am drug dialing again. Also my best friend has major issues with her foot after a bad break so she walks with a limp and I am always rubbing my butt from sciatica so we tell everyone she kicked me in the a$$ and broke her foot. Its the humor that helps get us through it all,
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