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I am broken hearted

jlrfryejjlrfrye ohioPosts: 1,110
edited 06/11/2012 - 8:38 AM in Lower Back Pain
I am almost 5 months into recovery of cervical fusion,to which I am starting to have problems with my arms.Arm pain and right hand has gone numb. I saw the neuro today to go over my lower back MRI due to constant back pain for the last few months and have learned my l4 and l5 disc have totally collapsed. He said it was bone on bone. For this I am having epidural injections and he is sending me to a phsyiatrist for PT. He also ordered EMG for my arms and a MRI of neck. I just want to cry and feel like giving up. I have had 6 surgeries and do not know how much more I can take. I am not happy with my pain doctor, he all the sudden wants me to take 1 vicodin a day for the pain and this is not working for me. I had been taking 3 per day and this only made the pain barely tolerable. I feel so helpless right now, I guess I am just feeling sorry for myself at the moment but jeez I just need a break from all this!!! It stinks to be a spiney!!!


  • You are allowed to feel sorry for yourself. What you are going through is extremely difficult to deal with. I have a collapsed disc (bone on bone) at L3/L4. I will eventually need a fusion but am using conservative measures for now hoping that something better will come along before I have no other options. I strongly suggest that you find another doc that is willing to help you get your pain under control. Please make sure that you get at least 2 opinions from spinal specialists before considering more surgery. Good luck and please keep us posted.
  • to be upset. Enough is enough. I get that way sometimes and then I live moment to moment trying to get through it. I allow myself to cry and to feel very sorry for myself for a small amount of time. Then I get up and get going again.

    6 surgeries would tire anyone! Please let us know how your neck MRI turns out. I hope that your arm is related to something else.

    Both of my shoulders are bone on bone and my hips have so many spurs it's crazy. My lower back has 2 bulging discs. I have arthritis all over my body. I'm so use to hurting that I forget about hurting. I also have a bladder issue, irritated bowel syndrome and am diabetic.

    I use exercise for pain relief. It's the only thing that helps me. It's great that you're going to a phsyiatrist PT. I've never heard of the type of PT but movement has helped me and with that title I'm sure he can help you. I kid my friends that I'm like the tin man in the wizard of oz, if I ever hold still I'm going to be stuck and won't be able to get moving again LOL

    I've actually had 10 surgeries but only one spine surgery and I want to keep it that way. I have so many scars that I look like a road map. People tell me that I'm beautiful but I have to laugh because if they saw me naked they'd see just how sliced up I am. I do scar nicely so I'm lucky for that.

    I'm telling you all of this Susan because going on is so important. I've stared death in the face so many times but end up hanging around here on earth for some reason. I know that you make a difference in this world and your pain makes you special. People who have experienced pain tend to be more tender and understanding of others difficulties.

    Pain has taught me a lot. I've learned to make friends with it. It's just part of my life. I hope that you can find a way to cope with the pain. I hope that this new PT can help you find ways to escape the pain.

    Sorry to ramble so much but your post really touched my heart. I've been where you are so many times and am so grateful the world brought me reasons to go on.

    You will be in my prayers Susan.

  • how do you get on with your family doctor? because if you have a good relationship with him/her ..sack your pain doctor and be honest with your family doctor and get your pain medication sorted out ..i have found that so called pain doctors are ba574xd5 and don't care too much about pain .i had one and he was a pig he did not want me to take pain killers and accused me of being a junkie 3 days later i was in theater undergoing major surgery ..so he knew nothing about pain and i have found out recently he had been struck off due to poor diagnostic skills and terrible conduct toward his patients ..my own GP looks after my pain killers and he is very understanding ..we all know on here just how horrible our type of pain is and if the so called medical people had to suffer our pain for one day ..they would soon be popping the pain killers ..my own doctor said to me he is a amazed that i can get through the day with the amount of pain i am in ..and he can only go off what he sees on MRI and other diagnostic test results ..i wish you well regarding pain control ..its vital that in this day and age that you can get adequate pain relief ..no one should suffer there are a multitude of drugs to help with pain so do yourself a favor and don't settle for being in pain ..life is hard enough with out pain but bone pain is the same a cancer pain and should be treated as such
    take care and put your foot down ""
  • Sweetie, sending you a few >:D< >:D< >:D< and a shoulder to cry on. With all you're going through, it gets really tough sometimes. Thank goodness for this site and all the wonderful people who are there to lift your spirits when you've had all you can take.

    I agree that you pain doctor is useless -- primary care doc may be the one to give you pain meds since he knows you well. Keep us posted on your MRI results and feel free anytime to PM me if you need to vent. Thank goodness there's always a new day to look forward to and though you may feel like POOP today, tomorrow could be brighter -- so don't give up hope -- I don't!

    O:) O:) O:) Guardian angels to look after you.

    Sending you comforting thoughts,

  • 1 Vicodin a day?! OMG! I have a bone to bone disk and take a lot more meds then that. I am on the Fentanyl patch and have Oxycodone to take through out the day.

    I share this info with you so you know that you are right in needing more pain med care.

    I sure hope you can find someone to help you SOON :)

    L1 - S2 "gone" useless in 1 way or another. DDD. RA. Bone Spurs. Tons of nerve damage/issues. Stenosis. Both knees replaced. 50 yrs old. I had a great fall (hence my user name) at age 41 and it has been a domino effect every since.
  • jlrfryejjlrfrye ohioPosts: 1,110
    I had my epidural this morning. It was already scheduled before I saw surgeon. I told my PM doc about the collapsed disc, bone on bone and he told me I can take 2 vicodin a day. Gee thanks. As far as seeing my pcp for pain meds thats a lost cause. He doesnt want me on meds. I called the physiatrist to make my first appointment and they are getting me in today, thank god so I dont have to miss another day of work. I think work is starting to get fed up with all my doctor appointments. I cannot lose my job because if so I lose my health insurance. My spirits are a little better today now that the shock of everything has settled in. I have never heard of a physiatrist but have read on the web that they do prescribe meds so maybe I will have some luck there.
  • Is there any chance that you could see a new PM? That may be what it takes in order to get some relief.
  • Please let us know how things go for you :)
    L1 - S2 "gone" useless in 1 way or another. DDD. RA. Bone Spurs. Tons of nerve damage/issues. Stenosis. Both knees replaced. 50 yrs old. I had a great fall (hence my user name) at age 41 and it has been a domino effect every since.
  • One or two vicodin a day for that kind of spinal trouble? You need a whole new set of docs. MY God - these docs should have one tenth the pain we all have visited on them. I don't think they would stand for it. I have been so very lucky that I have an understanding doctor.

    3 level spinal fusion, L3/4, L4/5, L5/S1, November 2008. Stiff, but I can walk.
  • jlrfryejjlrfrye ohioPosts: 1,110
    Had my appointment with phy. and was not very imppressed with him. I did do physical therapy though and it wasnt too bad but not great. I think he was kind of afraid to really have me do anything due to my spine issues. I see PM again next week for follow-up and I am just going to tell him if he cannot help me more then he is I am going to someone else. We will see what happens. Has anyone else on here (I am sure they have but do not know who) been diagnosed with bone on bone and what are you doing for it? Most of did it help?
  • I am bone on bone from a collapsed disc. I rely on medications and my back brace. Believe it or not the brace helps me alot. I knew that it would help as soon as I tried it on at the fitting. It immediately felt great. It is a corsette (sp?) style brace. It has wire things in the front and back and laces on the sides. I put it on and pull the side laces tight. It sounds horrid but it really helps. I wear a very tight fitting tank style ribbed t shirt underneath it to keep it from rubbing and irritating my skin. My only surgical options would be ADR or fusion. I am not willing to do either at this point. I try to get by as long as possible hoping that a better option will come along before I am forced in to one or the other. My doc has told me that ADR still has a long way to go before it is perfected and fusions do not have a very good success rate. You really might want to get your doc to send you to an orthotics and get fitted for a good brace. If nothing else it may help you while you are looking for another option. I must admit that my pain meds also help a great deal. Good luck and keep us posted.
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