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I think I did something very stupid

dmoonchildddmoonchild Posts: 383
edited 06/11/2012 - 8:38 AM in Pain Management
Had a very bad pain day yesterday. I cleaned out my Fathers bed room ( he passed away last month). It was very emotional and painful. ANyway when I got home, My husband had gone out food shopping with the kids. He hold all of my medication in a lock box for safty and securety and that I dont take any more than Im supposed to. Well, I had an old bottle of vivodin from my previos pm dr. and I took 2 of them about 8pm. I didnt think anything of it and I told my husband when he returned so he could adjust my nightly dose. He brought up the fact that I may be breaking my pain contract by taking old medicine. Im freaking out now. I cant stop crying. I have my monthly appointment tomorrow at 11. I will certainly tell the Dr what happened. I have NEVER abused my meds in any way shape of form ever. Im so ashamed how stupid I was. I just thinking. Im so upset. Are the Dr's ever understanding? It truly was an honest mistake.


  • I'm not under a pain contract so I may speak out of turn here.

    If I understand you correctly, you couldn't access your meds because they were locked up and your husband wasn't home. So you found this old bottle of vicodin and took two pills.

    I would think that as long as you didn't overtake your daily dose of vicodin (per your pain contract), you would be just fine.

    I can't imagine having to clean out your dad's bedroom after just losing him a month ago. I lost my dad a couple of years ago and it's SO hard. I'm so sorry for your loss.

    Don't freak out about the pain pills too much -- you're very emotional right now and things will look better to you in the morning. If there's an issue with what you did, just talk frankly with your doctor. Those pain contracts sound like you're in prison -- there has to be some leeway for being human.

    Take care and feel better,

  • Judy, I did not over take my regular meds and instead, did not take my regular breakthru of oxycodone because I took the vicodin. These vicodins were prescribed to me from my previos pain management dr back in March 2009. I only had the 2 left. My husband said the same thing you did. He also said just be honest it was an honest mistake after a very emotional day. My hubby is coming to my appointment with me tomorrow for support. He is so awesome.
  • that your husband is going with you tomorrow. I remember how I felt when my mom died. I over-reacted to just about everything though I don't mean to imply that you are overreacting. I just know what an emotional time this is, how it must be effecting your pain levels and how good it is that your husband is going with you to see the doc. I think everything will be alright. Let us know what happens. Susan
  • dilaurodilauro ConnecticutPosts: 9,846
    And Yes, you should never hold back from telling a doctor what you did, even if its a bad thing. The doctor to patient agreement is always held in high regard.
    What I am thinking towards is to WHY you needed to take those old pills? It seems to me that the current medications you are on handle your problem. If not , then you husband would not have to lock them away
    I am neither Judge nor jury, but I would have a frank discussion with your doctor tomorrow. It seems (from what you have posted) is that you need more relief than what is normally prescribed.
    Ron DiLauro Spine-Health System Administrator
    I am not a medical professional. I comment on personal experiences
    You can email me at: rdilauro@veritashealth.com
  • so much for not judging me. do you think Im over reacting? I know I cry over the slightest thing. My Mom & I were on the phone last night crying for about 2 hours. She is so sad. I wish I could take some of her pain away. They were married for 50 yrs. I was with my Father when he passed. It was actually a very beautiful experience. He also had severe back pain . We had that in common and would share our pain stories all the time.
  • If you are not tested don't mention it. You took something that was prescribed to you a few months back so it is not like you have done something illegal or took something that was not prescribed for you. I have an excellent relationship with my PM and have been with him for years. He does not require a contract but I have seen people talk about the contract here. I do not think it would be worth the risk to bring it up at all if you don't have to. Good luck and let us know what happens.
  • the problem is that drug screens are taken at the end of the appointment. Ive only had to take 1 since Ive been there ( I started in May) and right at the end of the appointment you are either sent to the waiting room for your prescriptions or to the Pee Pee room.
  • My mother lived with me so we were very, very close. She took diuretics for her blood pressure and so needed to eat bananas to replenish her potassium. I would always make a point to buy bananas when I was at the store. Several weeks after she died, I was in the grocery store and I walked past the bananas and started bawling. I also remember that little problems seemed very, very difficult. Fortunately, my spinal problems were just in their infancy so I didn't have any pain yet. I was hypersensitive. In fact, I became quite depressed. I'm just writing to offer my condolences and my sympathy and to say I can only imagine how you must be feeling. You must be careful to be extra kind to yourself as you are grieving. I think Paul and JJ make a good point. Hang in there.
  • med contract all about anyways? Did you take the wrong meds before or was that someone else. I guess I am a little confused as you took something that was prescribed to you or not? Why are your meds locked up? Maybe there is an underlying problem that I completely missed. Good luck at your visit today hope all goes well!!
  • crying all night long. I resched the appointment until Wed. Im so sorry everyone. I cont believe how stupid I was.

    Hope4leo: my meds are locked up for a fer reasons
    1) I have 2 kids
    2) In case someone breaks in ( I used to be a Parole Officer and a big mouth at work told everyone, including parolees that I take meds)
    3) So I never never take more than Im supposed to
    4) It gets my husband involved in my care. He is the BOSS of those meds.
  • out in the end. Did you have the vicodin elsewhere, obviously not in the lock box. I can't believe you actually have to take a pee test randomaly?? Anyways try to focus on the kiddos and hearing those little voices giggle and laugh- its the best sound in the world. Keep us post okay-
  • My appointment is on Wed and hubby will be coming with me. I hope its out of my system by then but if not I just have to face the music. I signed the contract and I need to be held accountable and responsible for what I did even though I didnt think it was wrong at the time. It was and I feel like a lyer and a cheater for putting off the appointment. This is not who I am and what Im about. Im so disappointed in my self. I hate these pills and the pain and the whole thing. Im so tired of it all. Its all I think about, it consumes my life.
  • That was a great idea! I can't believe that I didn't think of that. Drink as much water as you can possibly hold between now and then and you will be fine.
  • I just had The BEST PM appointment ever in the past 3 years. I was so nervous. I saw the Phy Assistant. She was awesome. She spent so much time with me going over meds, MRI explaining everything to me. I did come clean about the vicodin. She actually said she understood and increased my breakthru meds. She said my previos Dr was extreemly conservative and I needed more meds. so I have an injection scheduled for 24th and met my new Dr too who popped in to meet me before he did the injection. He was also very nice. I will NEVR NEVER make the same mistake again.

    thank you all for your support!
  • to the story. It reminds me of an old saying: "Worrying is like paying interest on a debt you may not even owe." From my own perspective, as much as I like that saying, its easier said than done. Susan
  • that doing the right thing can really pay off in the end. I am so glad that it all worked out so well for you and just chalk it up to a lesson learned.
  • Great news. I am so glad things worked out. Sometimes you never know when a negative will actually turn out to be a positive.

    I hope your relationship with the doc and his staff continues on the right path. It sounds like you are heading in that direction.

    And thanks for posting about the positive experience. Hearing good news helps us all.
  • a funny feeling that my Dad is up in heaven pulling some strings for me!
  • I was thinking of you ALL day today - so very very happy this turned out good for you :D
    L1 - S2 "gone" useless in 1 way or another. DDD. RA. Bone Spurs. Tons of nerve damage/issues. Stenosis. Both knees replaced. 50 yrs old. I had a great fall (hence my user name) at age 41 and it has been a domino effect every since.
  • glad it worked out. I was wondering if you could do what I do regarding meds:

    All my meds are locked up as well, EXCEPT my daily meds.

    I bought one of those med containers at Walgreens where it has 7 days, and each daily container has 4 compartments. These individual daily containers pop in and out of the main tray that holds all 7. Does this make sense so far?

    So once a week, I fill all the compartments on all 7 containers. Each morning, hubs gets my daily container out, gives me my morning meds (as I am dead asleep and won't wake up for several hours). He then puts that daily container in my purse and I have my meds on me for the rest of the day. This way, if I am out of the house, I am fine for that day.

    The others are locked up and stay locked up.

    This photo is almost exactly what I have, except my daily containers actually do say the day, such as Monday, Tuesday, etc.


    Would that work for you?

    Take care,

  • thats just what my husband and I use, same method. Thanks again for all your kind words and thoughts. It means so much to me.
  • You should ease up on yourself, doing these things is part of the learning process, the stupid thing would have been not to try and get through and the loss of a loved one never easy or as we think we will be able to cope. We all do things to survive that in the cold light of day and with some hindsight could have been done more effectively, we do not have a crystal ball and only you know how this pressure makes you feel inside and with the loss of my own sister though cancer a year ago, I am not coping as I expected, who would.

    Whatever your circumstance this was just a blip and momentary decision and something you have learned from, you are a busy mom and wife, giver and supporter and a lot is expected by others and yourself and you are doing well, it takes time and patience, and you will get through.

    Take care John.

  • I'm sorry to hear about your dad and my thoughts and prayers go out to you and your family. This surely is a most difficult time for all of you. When I feel stressed or depressed, the pain seems to shoot up more.

    Anyway, I am so relieved that your appt went well and your PA was so understanding. You are so fortunate. There was one time someone here took old pain pills once prescribed to him/her instead of their regular pills. Then it showed up on a urine screen and the person wound up dismissed. I have no idea how long these type of meds stay in your system, and I think you did a brave thing by being honest and taking that chance.

    Hang in there and I hope the new dose of Oxycodone helps. How much was it increased if you don't mind saying? I'm on 15mg every 6 hours for my BT pain. Take care
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