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I think it may be time

jlrfryejjlrfrye ohioPosts: 1,110
edited 06/11/2012 - 8:38 AM in Chronic Pain
I think it may be time for me to file for disability. It seems that things continue to go down hill for me and work is really becoming a struggle. I have been struggling with this for awhile now and just did not want to admit that my spine is getting the best of me. I have given myself a deadline of jan/1st and if things are not improved and the pain levels down, I dont think I have no choice. I am tired of coming home from work everyday a physical mess. Not only do I have neck issues the lower back has decided to join the party. I have collapsed disc in my back and will have no more surgeries, I draw the line at 6. I have fought the spine issues as long as I can and think the daily stress of working is doing me more harm then good. So I guess my next battle will be with social security.


  • Hi Susan,

    I think you have given yourself a reasonable time deadline. You can go to the SSDI website and print out the documents you will need. When you start the process there is so much information you will need to file. I know for myself they said would take a few hours to file out and it ended up taking about 8 hours and I still wasn't done. Once you hit send on a page you can't go back to it so you want to make sure you have everything in front of you. Also keep in mind if you are rejected on the first go around appeals in most stated are up over the year mark and some up to two years. So it is definitely something you want to have all your doctors on board with as well.

    It is a very hard situation to come to just the mental stress of say hanging your shoes up. But you know your body best and the limitations that you need to deal with. Take care and keep us posted on how you do and your finally decision.
  • =(( :D

    I know the decision to file for disability isn't easy and you realize the impact to your life both financially and emotionally. I think the added stress of trying to work (as if you were normal and not in pain) every day just builds up and increases your pain levels. After a period of adjustment to a change in your daily routine, a new routine will develop for you. It's important that you get to the best possible quality of life that you can at this point and the daily grind of working is not letting your body heal.

    I just had an appt. with my doc yesterday to discuss the possibiity of diability because I have other issues (fibro/chronic fatigue) that set in since my sciatica problems that are keeping me from getting full time employment again. It's certainly not where I want to head but if my body will not allow me to work up to my potential, I have no choice.

    Thinking of you Susan and sending you some hugs as you face this decision.

    Take care,

  • Susan,
    This is progression, that you are admitting to yourself of the reality in your situation; it is empowering and a relief to some extent that you see worth in being that person. It is very emotional and having acknowledged it to yourself is a major factor in finding now how you are to cope from now on. The able you may be a thing of yesterday and at least you are setting those external objectives of realistic capability than chasing all those things that you are now unable to do and need to be just a memory.

    You are making the decision now and not waiting for the pain to impose itself of who you become and how you live, a life is less lived if you have not tried and live in that half empty outlook that constant pain could bring if we let it, although this may only seem an inconsequential acceptance, it will have a dramatic impact on how you venture into the future with a positive and decisive decision.

    As Goffman said, you cannot put the genie back in the bottle and all those who define you from the perception they have of a disabled individual will be presented to you from now on, that transition has been going on with or without your consent anyway in having to live that chronic existence and this is just conformation of the reality for you.

    We all come to this crossroad of acceptance or the need to move on and accept even with the smallest of a’s, every procedure need to be fully utilised before we can move on and that “it may be time” analogy covers all those aspect we try with varying success. I have been like this for a considerable time and continue to work and as you I am questioning how sustainable this is for me at this time, the desire to continue working has a disproportionate impact of my physical capability and I vowed not to be excluded. We all have that need to do our very best and continuing to work while stressed, which is far harder than it may look to the outside world, you would not expect a dog to live like this.

    We know you are working through your condition and this is always a hard decision to make, you have done well to get this far and we all hide from the reality of how the pain impacts and mandates us to change, those changes are going to happen even without your consent and in attempting to live with what is left we must manage what we can do and change our wants into needs for our own survival. That needs list itself will soon come under scrutiny and has in itself to relate to what we can now do.

    Only you know your pain, with the correct support and encouragement your gifts and skills will be enhanced, I now work in an area that without chronic pain and all those things it has given me I would not be employed where I am today, your turn will come again.

    Take care John
  • jlrfryejjlrfrye ohioPosts: 1,110
    Your post at times have really pi$$ed me off(LOL) but this time you made me cry. Not a bad cry but perhaps a cry of relief and acceptance. A feel good cry if you know what I mean. I sat at my desk today and asked myself "why do you continue to put yourself through this?" and at the same time taking a pain pill to make it till lunch time so I can go lay down in my car for an hour. Thanks for the suggestion Tamtam, I contacted Social security for forms and they are going to call me for a face to face appointment. I had started getting all my medical records 5 months ago so the only records I need are from June to present. I know this is the right decision for me but a very hard one to finalize. I was a single mother who raised my son alone with no help finacially or emotionally. I have always put him first. He is now 19 and a good man and I am proud to say a fire-fighter and soon to be medic. My job so to say with him is done. Now it is time to take care of myself. This is the right decision for me.
    Thanks for the support
  • Susan,
    I hope is was a good cry, even in pain you are putting others first and although you suggest you are putting yourself through this, that is not the case you are trying to survive as we all are, this is a condition you did not ask for. I know you are dealing with difficult decisions in attempting to keep that normal thing going, who have you told about your situation, I had to lay on a bed in the disabled toilet to ease that pain you mention, and returned after lunch as if nothing were wrong, in an attempt to keep all of this a secret.

    I am now more vocal of my own need and what others need to do at work to help support and encouraged me, crying shows that things need to change and at least getting it out is better in the long term. We all try to act normally longer than we should and that you time is important, you do acknowledge your success over all the adversity.

    This change may open doors in helping to support you and your family, I have a charity that support me emotionally.

    Take care and good luck. John
  • I too went 5 1/2 years of suffering with degenerative back problems. You name it, I got it. I jumped through all and I mean ALL their hoops. Through this time I also plugged on and worked full time (graphic artist) but like you said, by the time I got home it hits you like a ton of bricks. Sitting in a chair is NOT the best thing to do with lower back problems, you put all your weight right on the bad spot. So in June of this year I too started the wonderful process of SS Disability. I've always heard that except for the extreme rare circumstance, you are going to be turned down at least 1 time if not 2. That's when you get a lawyer to help. But keep plugging on. Those sorry buggers are just trying to wear you down so that you stop trying and give up. But if you have true disability problems and the history to back it up you'll make it eventually. It is hard though. Cause you cannot work, and right now my husband is out of work and between unemployment and our savings things are tight. My thoughts and wishes are with you and I hope you eventually make it. By the way, I have known some people who got it right off the bat, first time, my brother-in-law was one, so there is hope.

    Again, good luck Susan.

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