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Doing what we shouldn't do

MaggiePMMaggieP Posts: 349
edited 06/11/2012 - 8:39 AM in Chronic Pain
Why do we do it? Today I loaded a heavy glass table top, and the wrought iron table and two chairs in the back of my Escape, to take to my brother's house tomorrow. I carried it off my deck, down 14 steps, and across the lawn. I knew it was too heavy when I did it :( Now tonight I am sitting here after taking all my meds, with my mid-back in spasms. Even the Tens isn't helping. My son is coming in the morning to stay at my place and take care of my dog. Why didn't I wait? What is it that makes us want to be so independent? I guess I'm just too stubborn. I hate to give in and ask for help :))(

BTW, I went to see the movie 2012 last night with my son. It was great. The special effects and cinematography are marvelous. Just remember, it is a movie, not a true story! :D

I've been on vacation since Wednesday, and have spent it cleaning house, sorting stuff, packing loads of garbage to dumpster. I think it breeds secretly in my closets =))



  • We all do it.
    I think it's partly frustration of not being able to do day-to-day things, but After discussing it with my masseuse, who also does it, it seems that it is just human nature.
    If someone says you can't do that, the immediate reaction is to say I will if I want to.
    Pacing yourself is very good, but on a good day it seems such a waste.
    Next thing-back into the overdraft of pain.
  • Maggie,

    Hopefully you will only suffer muscle stress! I think the reason we do things like you described, is just like when an older person looses the "authority to drive a car", our necks or backs cause us the loss of "authority" to lift things, jump off moderately high areas, sky dive etc.! It is hard to realize that we just can't do certain things anymore! We are independent by design I think. It's hard to give that up! Take care. I hope again that it isn't going to be too bad of a "punishment" from your body!!! :-)

    PCTF C4 - T2, Laminectomies C5, C6 & C7. Severe Palsy left arm/hand.
  • Maggie,
    We all did it, the key is not to keep making the same mistake, this is learned behaviour we do try to do our best and more so when in pain, that inner voice mandates that we continue beyond when it would have been reasonable to stop and with some disparity we blame the situation, rather than taking some of that responsibility for ourselves. We have to be driven to survive chronic pain and our ego let alone presentation, sometimes does not let us stop from putting that pain in the bank.

    It is not always simple to identify where that imaginary and daily threshold is and replication the same activity on concurrent days may seem feasible and we find to our cost that it is not. At worst we can get into a rhythm of over activity and immobility, this small circle of existence could continue for some time. At times when our flare-ups arrive we have already identified what has caused it and when any reasonable person would have stopped, we continue, the momentum in keeping going past reasonableness brings the pain to an unacceptable level.

    Part of the main aspect of PM was to set realistic goals and activity levels related to our capacity rather than the fantasy swirling in our heads, living within that now capacity is almost impossible and only a child would continue to do something that we already knew will have increased pain around the corner. Make a list of what not to do and the things you have to do and try to find some common ground between the two, stop well short of where you think the pain may increase, some days that means you will do nothing as a consequence and just surviving is sufficient at times although hard to accept.

    Stubborn is good when managed in the correct way and can be used to our advantage, given no limits it can develop into a pattern of behaviour and over activity, frustration and some anger. Chronic pain does not come with a handbook and we each have to find where our daily limit is and stick to it.

    This is not always a guarantee for success and we all know when we did less and still the pain increased and it is not fair or reasonable. Good days do not accumulate and are non transferable, each day is a new one and every morning the new us develops. Peter’s analogy of the overdraft concept is a good one and we all borrow more that we reasonably should at times and the payback of pain a real lesson.

    We should not blame ourselves too much, this is a learning process and more a mental acceptance that we are worthy even in doing less and as you say perhaps next time you will wait or ask for help.

    Take care, hope you are resting if that helps.


  • We do it because we know how to get things done,and yes,because we are stubborn and independant!I have done the exact same things.....and then I pay the piper for a couple days.Or longer...In fact I have a cord of wood sitting in my driveway that needs stacking.....I was actually thinking about doing that today...but unfortunately (or maybe fortunately) my neck is killing me today.So I will not be attempting that feat.I'm used to tackling that type of work....I enjoy hard work,I feel like I have accomplished something after I do it,but now, I hurt,not discomfort,hurt.I will bake a cake instead.
    Sometimes I do stuff because I just want to see if I can.I just want to still be me.
    My 6 year old saw a commercial on TV that said you could get a new body (by buying a bowflex) and she said "hey mom,you need a new body!) Yeah I sure do!
    Take care and TRY to not overdo!!!!Sagehen
  • Remember use those leggs....proper lifting will keep your pain dowm.....
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