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Today is the day

jlrfryejjlrfrye ohioPosts: 1,110
edited 06/11/2012 - 8:39 AM in Chronic Pain
Well today is the day I am going to tell work that I am going to file for disability and my last day will Dec 31st. I would like to be able to finish out the year but I wouldnt be surprised if they told me to leave. I ahve been struggling to much to get through a day of work and it is just time. My condition is not going to get better so I am not going to put myself through the daily struggle anymore. So why am I so nervous about this?


  • Hi Susan,its probably not nerves but anxiaty instead.It is a big life changing decision you are making here.I want to wish you all the best and I can totally relate to the struggle of trying to work everyday.It is hard enough to do the simple things in life,work is a struggle for me everyday as well,I've considered filing for my ssd but I'd probably go insane if I did.All the best to you.Hope everyone is having a pretty low pain day.Peace and Love!! Mark
  • any change to your life is unsettling .i felt the same way when i went on disability ,,its saying to yourself that you are ill and are going to be for the foreseeable future ..not a nice thought ...most people don't realise just how disabling back pain is .and the fact that no one can see it makes it even harder for people to understand just how hard life is with intractable pain ..good luck with your disability claim
  • Oh, you are nervous because this makes it all totally REAL. We can deny it all right down till there is simply no way we can do something.

    I was walking in to work today from my parking space, the weather here is brutal, looking at those 6 handicap spaces, thinking, I wonder if I am eligible for one of those? Between the weather changes, the SCS, my shoulder, my back, and my work bag. 100 yds feels like a million miles.

    Human resources seems to have no idea of how they want to classify my condition. Near as I can tell when they don't know what to do, they do nothing. 3 weeks tomorrow since I handed in the last set of papers. Was supposed to have something finalized by November 4th, Now, I may be wrong, but wasn't that a while ago now?

    Take your deserved disability and make yourself a better life. We really don't need this pain. Not that the pain will go away, but removing the stress should make for a better life.

    I too feel like walking down to the business office and saying, "Stick a fork in my I'm done"

    Wishing you the best.
  • jlrfryejjlrfrye ohioPosts: 1,110
    Well to say I followed through with telling work Im done would be a lie. I could not do it. Let me tell you how my morning went. I sat at my desk trying to get the nerve to go to HR and tell them of my decision, instead I got so sick to my stomach I went to the bathroom and threw-up then went home sick. It is a decision I have already made and my family is supportive of my decision so what is the problem. I am scared they will tell me to leave. I want to leave on my own free will and not be forced out. What is my problem? I am 47 and have never been fired from a job so why do I feel like if they tell me to leave .Im being fired? I know everyone is thinking so what i was leaving anyway but it matters to me. I know the company will look at me as a liability if I tell them I am filing for disability and I couldnt blame them. I am a liability. lol. I guess I will try this again tomorrow.
  • I think i know how you're feeling. No, it's not as simple as "I'm leaving anyway". When we have a job that we've been at for a length of time, we make friends, we get comfortable, and we feel stable. I think it's more than realizing that it's time to be on LTD becoming real for you. I think it's that you're in the sad position of making the choice to leave behind all of these things that have been a big part of your life and are important to you.

    I got laid off last February and I loved my job. I loved the people, the job, the place, the company - I just loved everything. And, no matter what anyone thinks or says, I still grieve not being there and having that around me every day. In a way, it kept me strong and active and I considered my fellow employees like an outside family.

    What you're about to do is leave this little piece of your life that's inside of you and it's terrifying to let it go. It's one thing to be told that you must leave and a whole other thing to make the choice to leave, whether it's necessary or not. There might also be a little voice in the back of your mind that says, "What if I want to go back?" This decision is a point of no return at that's never easy.

    I feel for you so much, Susan. You're entering into another chapter of your life and you'll probably be surprised at how quickly you'll adapt. But, that doesn't matter now. What matters is that you do what you have to do and then live this new chapter in your life the best that you can.

    Take care, Susan.
  • jlrfryejjlrfrye ohioPosts: 1,110
    Friday I went into work with the attitude that today is the day. I wanted to give my boss the respect of telling her before I went to HR and she asked me if I had any DRs appointments coming up and I told her I saw PM and nuero next week. She advised that I wait until after my appointments before I went to HR so I do not get caught up with the cobra on pending appointments, so I guess I will have to wait until wed. to make it official. Im half way there.lol.
  • nice of her to suggest that. I hope it all works out for you.

    3 level spinal fusion, L3/4, L4/5, L5/S1, November 2008. Stiff, but I can walk.
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