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Just a bad night (vent)

azemem01aazemem01 Posts: 15
edited 06/11/2012 - 8:40 AM in Chronic Pain
I have been having the worst few nights. I cant blame it on the weather, the stress, or anything other than I have a ____ up back and this night I cant take it. But I have to right! It feels as if nothing is helping the meds they make me sleepy. Thats all, and then I get up move around talk to people. Try all this phsio babble stuff and all I feel is worse. What makes me mad is that I have given up so many things trying to make myself better and all the results are negative. Giving up the holidays. I thought these days bring more stress. Stress brings on more pain so I decided to take a holiday vacation. See what a scrooge I ve become. And so there it is just a quiet quick short vent session because if I make it any longer Im bound to put my fingetips thru the keyboard. SO my spine friends good luck. SOrry to have made you read nothing you havent heard or felt yourself. I just know that right now this is all I feel I have deep inside. So thanks good night.


  • azmem01...I think so many of us have been there. I still vent...maybe not so much about lack of sleep. I think I just got used to that. Meds make me groggy and if I just so happen to fall asleep, its only for an hour to two. Well, the ER gave me percocet and I had valium and so for 2 nights I've slept 4 hours. Thats like a record for me since my surgery 6 weeks ago.

    Go ahead and vent. Feels good, doesn't it, to let the steam out! And here...who's feelings could you rreally hurt????? Venting is scary when its to the people you love who could be wounded by words you say because you're hurting. We spineys understand!!!!!

    I think in the last 4 days I've vented like crazy because I did a dumb thing and now I'm paying for it. Tomorrow I find out if I did any serious damage or if its just residual swelling. But read through these forums. Most of the time when you see my name...I'm venting. Hey...I'm stuck in a bedroom with no cable and my DVD remote batteries died. I got new ones but lost the code to reprogram the control. Doesn't that suck?????

    I'm sorry you're hurting. I tried the whole breathing and focusing on other stuff while I sat in the ER on Sunday. didn't work. Neither did morphine or percocet. What do we do???? I just hope and pray that tomorrow is a better day.

    don't be so hard on yourself. Losing sleep, pain...all of that makes for a miserable day! I've been assured that it gets better. I'm not there yet but then again, like I said, I keep doing dumb stuff.

    I don't know your history but I'm guessing since you're on this forum you've either had surgery or are having serious spine issues. I'm pretty sorry that we get to suffer through the holidays. We got snow and I couldn't even go out and play. didn't get to hit my kids not even once with a surprise snowball.

    Lets just agree to take it one day and a time. Be thankful for the good days and hopeful on the bad ones. medication helps too! I'm usually on Vicoden and it takes the edge off the pain. Doesn't make me sleepy but at least I'm not hurting so much.

    I'm up a lot of nights...so you can post and if I see it, I'll write back. I'm tired of surfing the web. Next time I surf I want either a snowboard or a surfboard. haha......

    Try to have a good night.
  • Dehoyos13 you really knew what to say and I appreciate that with my heart. It does feel good to be understood. I knew I could get it out and would not hurt a single person on here Cause you all really understand. We understand each other. Hey times are bad and this doesnt help. So let me ask you to stop doing that dumb thing your doing to yourself cause I dont want you to pay for it that you cant give me some words. Iv had seveal surgeries, been on this rollercoaster since 2006. Im on oxycodone and oxycotin er. But not helping. If your up late still Ill be here for awile. Thxs again.
  • I'm leaving for the doc in 45 minutes but wanted to post. This last dumb thing....it was a bad choice. My sister took me to walmart which is 45 minutes outside NYC. As I figured, it was less crowded so I didn't get bumped and got to walk for almost 90 minutes which is a record for me.

    As I opened the trunk on my '98 Jeep, it slammed back down on my head...6 weeks after cervical spine surgery. today i'll see the surgeon and see what he says. I'll post and let you know.

    Yes, I promise to do no more stupid things. Like once I wanted to clean the kitchen. It was about 3 weeks out of surgery. Nope....dumb idea. Another time I tried to lay on my waterbed....worse idea...paid for thatone for days. I'm sleeping in my daughter's room. my husband gets the whole waterbed to himself! That's just not fair. Its heated too and its freezing up here.

    ha ha.....I get it. I hope you got a better night's sleep after your post.
  • Are a common thing, so it seems. We all do them, then get to pay the bill.

    My latest was wrestling a cage door frame at work so I could rebolt the bottom retainer that secured the door when it was locked. Fixed that.

    This morning I have upper back pain, again. So, do I learn from yesterday? Duh, NOPE. not that smart I guess.

    Today, I have so far swept down all the cobwebs that noone else in the family seems to be able to see and vacuumed three rooms.

    Now, as I take a Break, I remember that doing this stuff all comes with a bill attached. OUCH.

    anyway dehoyo, I hope you are only charged for the ache of a wack in the head (ouch) and no permanent or actual damage was done!

    Let us know what you find out.
    Our thoughts are with you!

    Oh, go to the nearest chain auto store and get a new pair of gas struts for that hatch! They are pretty easy to change, most anyone with a bit of mechanical skills can pop them on for you! I need to replace the ones on the hood of my 04 Grand Cherokee. It won't stay up in could weather. Of course I forgot about it all summer when they work fine!
  • Is this not truly a case of our egos or great minds writing checks our bodies can't pay??????

    The doc says there is some slight bleeding in the vertebral tissue and a contusion near the surgical site. Also there is swelling at the surgical site on my neck near the placement of the plate. I'm to come back in 2 weeks. I have 2 weeks EXTREME rest. What the heck is that????? You mean I can't get out of bed? ha ha. But at least he took me off the percocet which kept me groggy all day.

    We're a funny lot, us spineys. Tell us not to do something...that's exactly what we want or need to do! ha ha

    so lets have a joint agreement not to write anymore of these dumb checks...k?
  • slight bleeding in the vertebral tissue and a contusion near the surgical site. Gee where and how did you get those right? Anyway I dont think you should be sleeping elsewhere. If youd behave youd have been sleeping in a heated bed. Can you go 2 weeks, really? I dont think your going to listen and do nothing for 2 weeks but I dont want to hear any complaints ok? You hear me. I know we dont know each other and other than your spouse who am I to tell you. But I know you know what will happen so, dont. If I dont hear from you before happy holidays. Stay safe warm and pain minimal.
  • LOL...you made me laugh with your last post. I got hit in the head with the back lift of my Jeep Cherokee. It was enough that I didn't know the stupid door didn't stay up...I hadn't been in the car for 6 weeks but we had a storm coming and a nice swift wind gave it a kick...just for me. Aren't I special???? ha ha. That's how I got the contusion and the bleeding. Now that I'm off the percocet I have learned something. Vicoden makes me feel like superwoman. It takes the edge off the pain without making me sleepy. So I do things I forget I'm not supposed to do...like today there was paper on my bathroom floor. In a house with 3 guys you think someone would pick it up! Nope...after my shower I bent to pick it up. BAD IDEA. I had forgotten that I'm not supposed to do that because I feel good. I think the dr. disconnected something in my brain because I know better. My spine hasn't even begun to fuse yet.

    And no...we don't know each other except on this forum but accountability is always a good thing. Maybe we should give our senators and elected officials this idea. It might work and we''d actually have the change we were promised. And I don't mean change for a dollar! LOL....life is crazy sometimes.

    I promise to try. I am even going to skip taking an hour long ride to pick my daughter up tomorrow. She's coming in from school in PA and one of her dean's is bringing her a 2 other kids to Jersey where his family is. My husband is going to pick them up and they're all having lunch. And I will be a good girl and stay home. My house is wrecked! Oh well...I read a cartoon in the paper once that said "its easier to apologize than clean the mess". For me thats the truth!

    have a very merry Christmas. You'll probably hear from me somewhere on this forum tomorrow. Its my link to the outside world. Ha ha...from others who can only like to the outside world in this forum. I think we're being tricked and the real world has disappeared! ha hahaha
  • You came to the perfect place to vent. All of us here have said the same thing hundreds of times. Believe me we all understand.
    I use to say....when I get better!! I no longer say that....I will NEVER get better. I will be fighting this chronic pain the rest of my life. It's something I have to live with and believe me it AINT easy!!
    Not only do I have chronic, savage, pounding, throbbing pain in my feet and legs I also have a pinched nerve in my thigh, a knee that needs to be replaced AND now a frozen shoulder that I must exercise twice a day!! These exercises are soooo painful that I throw up but I HAVE to do them or I will loose the use of my arm. Hey Wrambler...can I borrow your tummy?
    Now see.....I was going to comment to comfort you and I ended up venting!!
    I have taken a holiday vacation too.
    dehoyos is right...I think the real world has vanished. If it is out there it is buried under a foot or more of snow!!
    Tomorrow will be better.
    Cheers :H
    Patsy W
  • Patsy, thank for trying to comfort me, as you see we need to do it every now and again because were subject to go crazy. You have to do what you do to keep your arm from being useless. TAking this vacation isnt easy for us I believe. But We must, Lets dig ourselves out of this foot of pain and enjoy that as painful as it may be we are able to do what ever it is we are left able to do. IF that makes sense. I wish you a merry holiday. Tomarow will be better.
  • You are welcome to my stomach. But you may wish to wait a bit before picking it up.

    Right now I am guarding the tree with a bottle of Guiness :D...

    I do not like the month of December my wife's birthday followed by Christmas, yay, no time to regroup. present after present after present.
    good news is I have 10 more days off from work :)
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