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I Love Everybody!

William GarzaWilliam Garza TexasPosts: 2,441
edited 06/11/2012 - 8:40 AM in Water Cooler
Life is hard, but it is a life
which is better than being dead... no?
Pain sucks
but it is better than worrying about what health problems are coming....because...ahhh, the pain is here, now.
why worry about that?
I am right here, right now, there is no escaping this, there is no running away from this, there is no escape, there is no bright future,
there is life after the anger of losing the old life, and it is lfe nonetheless.

So if there is no escape from the servitude of Physical pain and suffering , make your peace with yourself, accept what is not going to change, and get on with living1

pain is not suffering, it is a physical sensation
suffering is what you decide to do about the pain.

You can let it take over your life and let a sensation rule and determine your course,
or accept that it "is" and move on.

your not a slave if inside your free... chaines., shackles, pain, suffering, agony,etc...
Would chain your heart and soul to a leaden vessel,
you can fight, but it is self defeating and self decieving,

Free your soul, give yourself the freedom of will, freedom of the person who has decided to live, despite the chains of the flesh.
Reach for your coompanions on this road,
let us walk together and share the burden and struggle.
would that others share the burden of those who cant,
some have broad shoulders for those who cant walk anymore, to lend a step or two.
find the will to walk this path with me and i'll walk with you,
lets go see whats further down the road
come on?
William Garza
Spine-Health Mod

Welcome to Spine-Health



  • :H How ya doing, my dear?? :H
    Had PLIF in 2008 and a Laminectomy. One level fusion, L4-L5.
  • I'me up tired! between school, work, and caring for mom, the cat, and trying to be the best, nicest person I can be to the world, Ya, it takes a wee bit from ya. one step at a time though right?

    My dang optimist outlook keeps me in trouble though, the whole glass half full and all that, people wont/cant see past the persona to the person inside, you know the usual stuff, he dont look hurt...
    ohh well, even when ime down, I still am up. I cant be sad or down for too long, at least appearance wise.

    I hope your doing as well as can be and warm. it was cold here, now??? back to the 70's . Hope you and yours are doing great so far this new years! lets see whats going to happen in the coming months!

    thanks for watching out for me again!
    William Garza
    Spine-Health Mod

    Welcome to Spine-Health

  • Ranch,

    Love the post!

    Pain is often Mandatory. It is real. Suffering is Optional.

    Nice to meet you.

  • thanks for the compliment! ya its not easy being a Spiney/necky/backy/lumbey/ahhhhh hurtey! hope your doing well too! the weather here makes the back go uggghh in a very disgusted way, oooooh well...

    You an eternal optimist too? Does it get you in trouble?
    the, if your in so much pain why you smiling and being nice and helpful...thing? if ya are...good on you!
    William Garza
    Spine-Health Mod

    Welcome to Spine-Health

  • Oh, don't get me wrong. I will admitt to allowing myself the occassional pity party now and again. I will allow myself that time and sometimes this place (Spine Health) is the best place for it. Then I have to pick myself back up and say, "Party's over" and move on.

    No this weather does not help. Still looking for that perfect place. I will find it! (Palm trees, warm white sand, 80 degrees, no humidity, no falling and rising barometric pressure blah blah blah...)

    Eternal Optimist? Most of the time. Does it get me in trouble? Yeah, Your pain is not taken seriously. Especially by doctors. You go in there you better be acting like you are dieing. LOL! Some people tend to think I'm preaching when I say things like live life in the now don't just exist. Do I care? You bet! I have no intentions of alienating anyone and so I must learn how to communicate effectively. Will it change me? Of course. Every event in my life wether it is a tragedy or some other life altering event (and they are all life altering) is a calling to me. A call for me to become more than I am now. A call for me to treasure my life and to LIVE not simply EXIST.

    And now, I will need help climbing down off this soap box. Can you lend me a hand?

  • You two have cute names. O:) March will be three years post op for the back. I feel good most of the time but I do have my bad days. I will be 64 in May so I'm no spring chicken, :))( so I'm sure that has something to do with the pain.

    I too am very optimist and it so keeps me going. I wish you both a pain free life and lots of money! =D> I just had to throw that in!

    Evelyn :H
    Had PLIF in 2008 and a Laminectomy. One level fusion, L4-L5.
  • Ah Evelyn,
    Thanks for granting me my every wish. To you I wish the same.
    I'm sure you don't look a day over "fast cars and freedom."


  • If i was able to run that is! I can only dream of running now. You two gals are like a cool breeze in summer, gld that there are still optimists out there!!! I think the maturity of time spent living with pain lets the burdens fall away like the old rusty chains they are.
    Frog, you sound like nothing can keep ya down!
    And my faithfull companion Evelyn, always there with the shoulder when ive stopped on the way.
    What a community we make as we grow and travel together no?
    I go into the clinic and try to stand like ive got some pride left, I guess too many play the system and make the legit folks look bad...and now they act like ime a fake, bummer, but its all good though,
    ime alive and still kicking (little low ones, but kicks nevertheless!)
    see ya laters gaters!
    William Garza
    Spine-Health Mod

    Welcome to Spine-Health

  • This is an awesome post. I beleive I found it for a reason as I've been struggling today. I've been struggling with pain as well as an unsupportive husband who tells me to just get off my lazy @$$ and do something and that I'm just too fat. I really needed to hear some positive, optimistic vibes and this really is exactly what I needed. Thanks for getting my mind back into check with trying to stay positive.

    It's hard enough dealing with this back pain emotionally but try to do it while the person who's supposed to love you for better or worse; sickness and in health is the one beating you down with nasty words.

    I won't let him win, I am stronger than that. I just didn't feel it today but this post helped pick me back up off the floor today.

    Thanks so much. I love all my spiney friends. Spiney's ROCK!!
  • Ming,
    I cannot pretend to be qualified to coach anyone through lifes toughest lessons. As I read it at the bottom of so many signatures here. "I am not a medical professional and my post are based on my own personal experiences."

    It is so very hard when you cannot get the support you desperately need from the one you thought you would always be able to count on. Believe it or not it can go both ways. You can be telling yourself, I am okay, this pain is not that bad, it is tolerable, my mind can beat it and I can do anything I want and then those close to you are defeating you telling you the opposite. They say things like go lay down, you should be resting, you shouldn't be doing that, They begin placing that pain you were desperately trying to put in a seperate corner back in the forfront of your mind.

    You see they are projecting their own thoughts and experiences through you. You choose wether you want to accept THEIR thoughts as YOURS.

    NO ONE ELSE can make these choices for you…no one else CAN DEFINE YOU…you have the power within you at all time and all moments to define you.

    BE KIND to yourself and above all be true to yourself and just maybe your positive attitude will eventually rub off on him because if is for sure you will not let his define you.

    I look forward to hearing how great your days become.


    It's time to make my way...Let me be myself
  • You are so poetic. Such a way with words.
  • dilaurodilauro ConnecticutPosts: 9,877
    on you to generate posts that are upbeat, express the brighter side of chronic pain, let us all know the good person you are.

    When you have a site with over 11,000 members, most suffering in chronic pain, it is so good to have those members that you know you can count on to make Spine-Health a better site.

    Thank you
    Ron DiLauro Spine-Health System Administrator
    I am not a medical professional. I comment on personal experiences
    You can email me at: rdilauro@veritashealth.com
  • You hang in there mama!!! I look at your picture and youknow what i see? one word,D-E-T-E-R-M-I-N-A-T-I-O-N!!! I see the smile behind the smile for the camera,
    I see the girl who never ever, will give up on herself or hers because...
    shes made that way!
    These moments we have of doubt and fear are transient, in the longer way around life we have to take, we get to see much more and have a more intense immersion in life, it is fearsome and frustrating enough as is, and between us participating in the learning curve, by ourselves, and then "tutoring", our beloveds about us, which have or are going through a series of changes they may or not understand, or want too.
    Ming, I see you, I see what your actions make you, Valuable, I have read your posts, I see you caring enough to be involved, to care, to love enough to fill the world with light!!
    dont give up or give in K?
    Ps... more to come, my boss just gave me the stinkey eye, so got to git for now...
    Talk atchu laters
    William Garza
    Spine-Health Mod

    Welcome to Spine-Health

  • Since ive been here, ive some of the best of people brought down and burdened by the geiss upon them. I see them smile through the pain and with immense dignity and honor, hold up and carry thier fellow spiney through the thick, thats the kind of people here, unafraide to wade in into the fray and take up arms at the elbows of their fellow pain warriors. (all honors to those here in spine health, as participants, members, or just those silent sentenals on the side) who serve.

    I can because others cant,
    I can because others have carried me in my darkest of moments.
    When you have been carried by these companions, by the Angels awaiting to come in at a moments notice, and cover you, protecting you from the world, and yourself, You have been carried by the most worthy of respect.
    When Papa Ron, The Hon. Ms Jeax, Priestess(cant forget ya Miki!) Paulgla, Hagland C, and other members of this forum do thier best for others, how can I do any less for my fellow spiney?
    There are members who are dear to me, there are many more who will be.
    I was raised to give hope to the hopeless, help tho those who cannot, give until it is enough,
    Like I said, I love everybody,
    It is the antithesis of despair.
    Hope, Esperanza,
    what words in other languages do you know the words for hope.
    Let us stand together now,
    and raise our hands to embrace ourselves, we of infinite value and worth, No one has a pricetag afixed to their person, no one is EVER worthless.
    No one is ever not worthy of respect or dignity.
    Hold on to each other in this stormy sea, we, us, all together can weather the storms.
    William Garza
    Spine-Health Mod

    Welcome to Spine-Health

  • yep - that's it. A little support goes a long way.

    Especially when we have our families at home who really (through no fault of their own) either cannot or will not understand what we are going through on a daily basis. We show up here on this site, like a stray coyote, underbelly exposed hoping the pact will accept us for who and what we are.

    Here, it's a different story (literally and figuratively). Everyone of us here have our own story to share and we do so willingly because we know (or at least hope) that we will find understanding, acceptance and the occasional shoulder on which to lean. Even cry a little if that's how we are feeling.

    Also, here, we can not only RECEIVE support, but are able to GIVE a little of ourselves by way of support, kind words, gentle nudge. In so doing, we get a little bit of ourselves back because it's so nice to be able to do something for someone when we are usually so limited by our physical or mental conditions....

    Outside is cold and lonely. Inside here is warm and inviting.

    Together we can make a difference.

    Have a great day Ranch and every one else!

    (just waxing philisophical today... sorry)
  • You spiney's are all so amazing. I'm so glad I found this site and I feel like it's a part of my family....the long distance kind that you don't get to see but communicate through email.

    FROG and Ranchland.....
    Thank you both for your support and kind words. Ranch, I will not give up. Your message brought me to tears. There's a couple of reasons why I am so honest on here. #1 is for selfish reasons....I really look to you guys to help me, to give me support, maybe try to get me to see things from the other perspective. #2 I'm hoping that my experience can help others. I know that I'm not the only one who is struggling with an emotionally abusive spouse and chronic pain. Not all of us are fortunate enough to have a wonderful support group out there looking for our best interest. Maybe I can bring someone else comfort by them knowing they are not alone.

    I'm not quite sure how I would be able to handle all this emotionally if it wasn't for this site. I'm sure I would find a way but it may not be the healthiest. There was a time that I would drown my pain and sorrows in alcohol. I refuse to do that anymore. I need to be there for my kids. They need me more than anything and that's my #1 motivation to stay strong and as positive even in the worst of circumstances.

    God bless all my spiney friends!
  • Michele, All head held high and proud, makes my heart glad like the sun breaking through the storm, your going to be fine!, How do I know? all the tools you need inside o be strong, its just sometimes breaking through the "locks" to find our strengths.

    These locks are self imposed limitations on our own selves. Its us being our own worst enemys.

    It can be a relic of our formation, or of our self imposed destructive behavior, these are just that, relics of a past life.

    Your in the midst of your brand new life, Now, you can erase all the hangups, all the baggage we drag along.

    If you think of it this way, every now and then you get the whisper of "there must be a better way" or "there must be something better"...guess what, that your tools buzzing telling you that ...yes, you have the tools you need to fix this!

    You hang tough , let the tide wash over you amnd around you, it takes a stronger person to do that, and you will be.

    Time and Tide wash over us and wash us clean, the sun and wind leave the Patina of experience, that rich deep inner shine that people of discernment(ahh hem...spineys) among others, see and value.

    Dont doubt yourself or the amazing person you are, dont forget to shine, coz thwe more you do, the more you will!
    William Garza
    Spine-Health Mod

    Welcome to Spine-Health

  • You give me light!
    The seasons may grow long and the frost linger on the heather
    Through storm and wrack and dire weather
    yet my lovely companion of thickness and the thin,
    some far and finer day we will dine together.

    The sun will shine upon unburdend brows
    the kind wind will unfurl the sails as we sit upon the bow
    on the ship that takes us to the heaven gate.

    I will know you by your words and deeds
    I remember you from bended knee
    Of unspoken kindness,
    of knowing rest.
    may the morning find you rested
    for the pain will have been bested
    unsullied soul and lifted head
    ready for the road ahead.

    William Garza
    Spine-Health Mod

    Welcome to Spine-Health

  • I have been spending far too much time feeling sorry for myself over the past few months. Since the surgery especially. I know it's not all the post op drugs either. I have always been a glass half full and if it's half full of beer, even better. But I have really been bummed lately.

    So tonight I was watching Hope for Haiti Now concert thingy, And listened to a story of a mother digging through rubble for 50 hours, yes 50 hours to get to her 2 yr old baby. I felt like SUCH AN A*S....I mean these people are fighting for their very survival and I have the best medical care possible. It touched me in some way that has made this evening seem a little bit brighter and maybe there is something better right around my little corner. I donated even though my funds are limited because those people need all the money they can get, bless them and pray for them please.

    And if any little thing makes you feel brighter and better, grab it.

    Spiney Luv and Hugs,

    p.s. Ranchhand thanks for that heads up attitude. It goes a long way and reaches more people than you probably can imagine.
  • Well I just can't say it any better than you all have already.
    I just remember as I try to function day to day with that glass half full that I CAN NOT control others or their actions.
    What I can control is my REACTION to others and the events that happen in my life.

    Will you spend your life as a VICTIM or as a VICTOR?

    Take Care

  • Frog...Yuve been there, done that when it comes to winning over this infernal game, glad to have your wisdom here!
    More love for everybody!
    William Garza
    Spine-Health Mod

    Welcome to Spine-Health

  • If much more love goes on around here, this may require a change to adult only viewing LOL :jawdrop:
  • LOL! Trasee.
    Let me get this back on track. It'a been raining since sometime in the middle of the night (using colorful expletive.) My back is screaming obsenities. The nerves going down my legs are raging idiots. These freaking new meds are making me crazier than I already am and for some unknown reason my house seems to have a revolving door this weekend. (Company just keeps showing up. As soon as one leaves someone else show up.)

    Calgon TAKE ME AWAY!

    OF COURSE, the sound of the rain hitting the roof is actually quite soothing, at least I can still walk and I obviously have some wonderful friends and family. (Even if they don't know how to call first.) My great husband was a great host to them all.

    And the best is yet to come.

    Brett Farve...Oh LA LA!
  • Ranchhand, I always enjoy reading your thoughts and comments. Thanks for the support you give me and others here.

    I try to keep my glass half full but sometimes I find there has been some evaporation(bringing me down) or someone comes by and drinks out of it, draining my outlook! LOL! But all I need to do is sit down and put things in perspective, appreciate the simple, little things in life and my glass fills back up. Most importantly, I am so thankful I found myself here on SH almost a year ago! I was feeling alone,lonely, like I was fighting this battle in life alone, without a life preserver, I felt like there wasn't anyone else that could really understand ....but then I found myself here with an entire community full of wonderful support.

    Thanks everyone!!!!
  • Ya, were are our won life preserver here sometimes,some times I feel like were that pile of ants in the water that has to cling together to float.
    The sad fact we are prisoners of our own bodys does not make us live in a prison.
    Learning to adapt, requires accepting the reality of our existence at the very moment we are right now.

    In the process I found that I was set free... inside.
    If you have freedom of spirit, no prison can nor ever will hold you.
    comeing to peace was not easy and I still have those days, but by and large my courage to face the day comes from knowing freedom,
    a deep and abiding strength that gives hope.

    Find this hope, set yourself free, no matter where, who or what your prison is.

    self imposed



    a then those bounds we never asked for, whether by accident, caused by anothers..."carelessness"?
    or ourselves just living life as we see fit.

    he bitter ashes left by anothers uncaring and calousness,

    all these can be overcome.

    Its not easy, it takes courage and sheer gut determination to do, but the tremendous reward will pay you forever.
    William Garza
    Spine-Health Mod

    Welcome to Spine-Health

  • Trasee said:
    If much more love goes on around here, this may require a change to adult only viewing LOL :jawdrop:
    Dannnggg! but hmmm...
    William Garza
    Spine-Health Mod

    Welcome to Spine-Health

  • :H A big hello to one and all. :H You guys and gals are soooooooooooooo sweet. >:D< Here's a big hug for you. I am so grateful for this site and all the wonderful spineys I've posted to. As always, I'm praying for you all to have a pain free life! =D>

    I hope no one is having to deal with the cold weather. Right now I'm snowed in!! I hear it's going to get worse next week. :''( I love to read so I'm all stocked up with about 20 books. I have some areobic tapes so I will attack them as well. Wish me luck! :H
    Had PLIF in 2008 and a Laminectomy. One level fusion, L4-L5.
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