I know it has been a while since I have posted. Life has been busy, busy. My son is doing really well now. He actually has been sticking with things since he got out of the hospital and on his new meds. He is absolutely fabulous on his guitar; sometimes I can not believe it is him playing
. And he is back into wrestling and loves it!!!!
Okay now on to me, which is not so chipper....
So I had my ACDF on C5&6 back in March 2009, which helped my arm pain, tingling and numbness but am still having a lot of pain. As of now I have had countless epidurals, which did not help, rysotamy (spell???)aka nerves burned, then was sent for a myleogram which was horrific; the hole didnt close up and I leaked csf for a week I ended up having to have a blood patch to get the massive migraine to go away and get me to stop throwing up, not to mention a trip to the ER because I didn't know what was going on and the nurse at the diagnostic imaging place said she "didn't know what the problem is, and it does not sound like I had a csf leak" even though every symptom was that I was leaking csf, it was a total nightmare. Anyway, went to my neuro last week and he said I am not a candidate for another surgery and that he thinks it is all nerve related and since I am fused it is putting stress on my upper levels, which I was told it could on either the upper or lower levels. Needless to say my surgeon thinks I am taking way too many narcotics, which I am but that is really the only way I can function, I am only just getting ready to turn 30 and am married and have two kids, half the time I do not even want to do anything but sit around the house because if I do too much I start to hurt and have trouble getting it under control. My PM has me back on Percocet and muscle relaxers. My neuro suggested an SCS possibly, which sounds kind of radical and invasive really but he said this is a last resort.... I go to see the PM this afternoon to see what his recommendation is; last time I talked to him he said there was no other injections he could do. So with the neuro saying he does not think any more surgery is going to help and the PM saying he can not do anymore injections, I am not quite sure where this leaves me other than taking pain meds, which I am totally sick of depending on, or this stimulator that sounds kind of insane. Not to mention I do not know how much more my work is going to put up with this. They have been really cool about all of it for the most part but I am so afraid of losing my job, I love my job! And my poor husband.... he couldn't take seeing me cry anymore and called my PM and neuro and was a little heated, my hubby does not understand how complicated things can be with the neck and back and thinks I should have been fixed and I should not still be in pain. My doctors are good at what they do and I do trust them a lot. I am a nervous wreck! My husband does not think an SCS is the right thing for me, but then again he has not been in pain for a year and a half and if he was he would realize people will try almost anything to get the pain to go away or even take t away a little. I feel 90 in a 30 yr olds body!!!!!!
I had to miss my company Christmas party because I was still on bed rest from my blood patch, and I was upset but not real upset, it was almost a relief because if I would have danced or stood too long I would have paid for it for days to follow. I know things will never be "normal" again but I would at least like to not have to worry about everything I do putting me in pain, it is quite depressing really. My kids are constantly asking me what is wrong because they know I am in pain and I usually lie to them and my husband because I do not want them to feel bad for me anymore or not go out and do things because they think I can not go and do it; I just lie and go do whatever it is and take more pain meds so I do not ruin their time.
Sorry this is soooo long and depressing. It has been a while since I have gotten to vent! And yes I am on an antidepressant
I would be more of a mess at this point if not.