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strakerstraker Posts: 1,851
edited 06/11/2012 - 8:41 AM in Chronic Pain
i am sick of being ill .this back ache is too much like some on here i too am on the max pain meds. and still i am having no quality of life .since my last operation {3 years nov} i have just gone down and down i did not think it was possible to get any worse ! i spend about 20 hours a day on my recliner because anything else is too much for me ..i know that sounds weak and even lazy but i am not that kind of person .i would rather be out doing stuff cleaning the car /swimming etc but even activities like that are too much for me AS for sleeping no chance i carnt even get comfy now what the hell am i supposed to do ?? no one seems to have an answer for me {i have one last chance when i see the surgeon on the 9th march i dread to think what i will do if he says nothing can be done like all the others i have seen all the others have said is that i will get worse and require even more pain killers !!surely there must be something else?..what i want to know is ..are any of you people like this ??or is it just me ??


  • I really have no advice, I am sorry. I am in the same situation and am hoping the visit to my next doctor gives me some answers and pain relief. It is miserable feeling like this on a daily basis, trying to work, and have a family. It is draining to say the least.

    Best of luck to you.
  • I really wanted to post something as I can not imagine what it is like for you. I have to believe there is an answer even if not to repair the spine but to just stop the pain. I have no idea but at this point it may be better to live with a disability than to go through this pain.

    I really do hope 3/9 can give you some answers...

  • It Is tough hanging on when there seems to be no help. But Tony...we have no choice but to hang on and to hope.
    I have to hang on to hope because that is all I have. Each day seems to get worse and the nights are soooo very long.
    I am going through another rough patch Tony but I gotta hang on.
    Things always have a way of working out. Ya just gotta believe that!!
    Hugs to you and Kath.>:D<
    Your friend
    Patsy W
  • It must be something in the water lately! I have been going through a pretty rough time lately as well and have not seen even a glimpse of a light at the end of the tunnel lately. And I got to add the stomach flu to the long list of pain I am already going through. Talk about miserable! I was praying to the porceline god all night last night. And have had to sit at my desk all day feeling like hell warmed over!

    It is sad and depressing but you have to hang in there.
  • you are not lazy or weak, you are one of the strongest people I know. I'm no where near as incapacitated as you and I struggle.
    Sleep deprivation has been used as a form of torture remember that.
    There has to be someone ot ther that can help you, perhaps write your entire history out, include absolutley everything, then start emailing every neuro,pain specialist and ortho in the phone book, even abroad.
    Someone may just read it and take your case up.It wouldn't be the first time it happened.
    Maybe try and write down all the positives in your life and read them everyday.
    If you are able to type in your recliner, perhaps writing a book about your life and experiences might help. It can be quite cathartic to get it all out.
    Lots of hugs and thinking of you, you are always there for everyone here now it's our turn to be there for you.
    Kylie >:D< >:D< >:D< >:D< >:D< >:D< >:D< >:D< >:D< >:D< >:D<
  • I'm so sorry to hear you haven't had any progress yet. You have gone downhill since I've been a member this past year, I wish there was some magic answer for you. I'm sorry if I missed any posts, but what was the outcome of looking into an ADR? Hang in there til you appointment, and I hope that you do get some answers this time!!
    APROUD CANADIANveteranButNOTa doctor, my thoughts are my own
  • I feel a bond with you. I havnt been down as long as you, but have the same feelings. I am hoping that you next Dr visit is a poitive one for you. I know what it is like to wait to see what someone can do for you.I hope they can find something else for you. It is so hard to go through this. I just want you to know that I am thinking of you. I understand your pain, and anytime you need to vent or need a shoulder, I am there for you, I is so hard to deal with! Take care, Robin
  • i know i say that i say that a lot but i mean it .i am going through hell at the moment and i need a break .my hopes are with the surgeon that i see on the 9th march ..i cant see me living like this ..lay in my recliner for the rest of my life i need to be repaired i am going out of my mind as i realise life is slowly slipping by me and i am not apart of anything day after day nothing just sleep deprivation and pain there has to be more than this .
  • This time will be different, I know it!
    In the meantime keep talking to us.
    Sending you a great big hug. >:D< and a pinch of sleep dust I)
  • but i could not quite the oxycontin the pain is too bad ..hopefully when some bright surgeon heals my back {ho ho ho} i would have to detox to get off oxycontin because as much as i hate them they do help with the pain but i also get horrific withdrawal if i dont have my pain killers .so there is no way i could ...just not have them for a day... they are not supposed to be taken that way ..anyway if jim can stay off them ..well done to him ..
  • cut the oxycontin, I just cut down on the extra narcotic doses and it definitely has made a difference, still not perfect but better.
    Anyway it was just a thought, i'm so worried about you i'm racking my brains trying to think of ways to help.
    You have been getting more and more down lately.
  • :H Hi Tony,

    We haven't chatted in a while but it seems you are having as much fun and luck as I have been. Although I have to admit my friend, that I am in a far better position than you, as my new injuries will heal. But I have a good feeling this time, I think you will finally find your Angel Doctor, and get your surgery.

    My spouse bought me a recliner for Christmas, and was a little upset that I was not too thrilled to see it. To me it represents another lower level downward. I can no longer sleep in bed either. Nothing at all is comfortable.

    Well, I have taken two trips lately. Not the good kind with sand and sun! One was trying to get out of my too low car. Result-torn ACL right knee. Three weeks later a trip down the TWO front steps, result was two busted ribs on the left side. How would I ever get comfortable with all of this??

    At least spring is on it's way here, 24 days. Right now in the northeast region of the U.S. we are in the grip of a major storm. I think we have about 18" here in the Hudson Valley area of N.Y. And there is alot more to come. I can't wait to at least play around with the flowers and feed the birds.

    Try to remain upbeat Tony, I think your life will start getting better soon, my prayers are with you always. Regards to your wife Kath.

    Donna in the frozen tundra!!
  • hi straker, when i read your post it hit home to me, i am almost the same as you, i have had 5 back operations and even after all of that i am in the most pain i have ever been taking 300mg of morphine a day, and yes 20 hours laying down for the last 18 months is the norm, so what have i done, i have kept asking and pushing, i am presuming you have tried the pain team.. i know it does not work for some of us but they really do understand how you feel and more than anyhing helps, the other thing is a spinal cord stimulator ? i got assessed but mine in mechanical pain so if you havnt already research that it has a great outcome for some people.. and then i asked for a second opinion, i have got refferred to a spinal surgeon that is willing to do the major op that the other surgeon wasnt, so just when you think there is not hope.. somebody will look in your eyes and see the pain that you have.. this week i am waiting for my surgeon to get permission from the board of spinal surgeon to do my op, if they say no then we are back to .... pain no sleep but because of that we will look for another way, and because i know you are as desperate as me then you will find it.. are you in the uk?

    sorry its a long reply but you really hit home with me and i wanted to let you know what i had done..

    take care

    A wooley
  • YES i am in the uk and i have been through the pain clinic system over here {no good] i cant have a SCS as it would be of no real use for me .my problem is arthritis and other joint problems the only hope is a good fusion done well by a very good surgeon ADR ids also out of the question through the arthritis.i have been refuse surgery because my back is a surgical nightmare .i just hope that this hot shot surgeon can operate as i don't know what i will do if he says no .
  • Classical Chinese Medicine was practiced long before western surgeon fathomed the idea of a fusion. If it has not worked in the past, don't go looking for more of it. Try something new.
  • Straker, hang in there. It is a very hard life compared to a painfree life, but medicine continues to get better.

    I am like many people on the boards. I am almost 38 in good shape, take care of myself and can't manage pain from failed back surgery.

    I see one of the top pain docs in the area and that is a big key. We have tried a lot of things without much success. One thing that does help a little is Flector patches, but you have to tape them own and they are going to be tough to keep on in the summer. The patch comes off very easily when you sweat.

    I also lounge around all the time and it drives me crazy. The problem is if I do what I really want to do the pain gets insane.

    My thoughts are to take a journal about everything you do and look for clues. It took me 5 years to figure out sleeping on my side was the best and avoid bending over.

    There are many of us in the position here to support each other. Medicine will get better and keep trying new things to be optimistic.
  • hi straker im new to the forum and dont know much about you but was wondering if you have ever tried marijuana...... with an open mind i feel you could greatly benefit from it! it helps with alot of the symptoms you have and you would be able to cut back on your meds which is probably causing you alot of these problems. not sure the availability or the laws in the uk but it sounds like your desperate for some relief man and i would give it a real shot if you havent tried it. there are alot of different ways and strains to medicate with so message me with any questions you may have. hang in there buddy!!
  • yes i have tried cannabis .and it did nothing for me .pain wise or help with sleep .in fact i9 am trying to stop smoking normal cigarettes at the moment .and that is very hard work as i spend most of the night in pain {my pleasure was to have a cup of tea and a few cigarettes at the back door just to chill out {i don't know if i am doing myself more damage stopping ...stress wise that is ..i am aware of the health issues with smoking ..going off smoking for a minute the surgeons want to do a multi level fusion on me and i don't think it will help .so i am trying to help myself to get fitter by swimming .,but all that has done has made my back pain so much worse .i cant win ..sit on my recliner ..get fat and have a heart attack.or smoke enjoy and then have a heart attack or have a major operation and have a heart attack on the table !!!or just take the pain killers until my liver packs in !
    all said with a smile ..but if you don't smile you would blow your head off with the kind of pain that genuine back pain gives
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