Where has my confidence gone. My surgery is in 24 hours. I am so ready! It has been a long 3 year journey, so why am I crying today? I seem to have lost my confidence! Please, please come back to me, I need you!!
I have total confidence in my medical team. This surgery is inevidable. Yes, I have tremendous pain, but as important, I have significent weakness, Left footdrop, "brisk" reflexes (which is a very bad thing) and tremors through out my legs. So I don't have a choice. Why the tears.....why won't they stop?
I said goodbye, but really, "I'll see you in a few days" to my daughter this morning. She will be staying with friends while I am in the hospital. I have a bracelet that has big block letters: FAITH---HOPE---LOVE. She asked to wear it these next few days to feel close to me. She gave me her beloved stuffed monkey for me to take to the hospital.
I just wish someone could tell me it will all be OK, but I know there are no guarentees.....