10 days post op 360 L4-5 fusion that was complicated. I am the type that cleans/organizes before I go to bed, won't go to bed with a dirty kitchen, organizes the night before, puts on a bit of makeup even when I go to the gym, and enjoys putting coordinated outfits together with a cute hairstyle and coordinating assessories.
This surgery threw that to the curb. While in the hospital, I didn't even know I had hair, and no one else seemed to notice either. So after countless days in the bed, with transfusions, breathing treatments, moriphine, etc., I had dreadlocks coming off the left side of my head. I looked alot like Medusa. I kept saying I didn't want visitors, I was too sick and on too much moriphine. My family~my brothers, sister, sister-in-law, and one of my dearest girlfriends didn't/wouldn't listen!
They showed up regularly! :-) I would groan, as I really was at my worst and very sick! They helped me walk to the bathroom, reach things and watched over me as I slept.
At the time, I was horrified! Now I understand what a gift it is to have family and friends who love you and are there because there is no way they can stay away!
This weekend was my first weekend home~Friday was only my 2nd day home! Again, I said, please no visitors, I'm just not ready. Oh, did I mention, that I look like I've swallowed a watermelon? I have an unbelievable amount of swelling. So no cute PJ sets for me~they don't fit.
Again, no one listened to my "no visitors". My little sisiter showed up Friday night with 7 bags of groceries and her PJ's! :-) My daughter came home after staying a week with a friend while I was in the hospital. Everyone wanted to be close to me, but I had to be laying down in the bed. So they brought in chairs, hung out with me, held my hand when I cried due to the pain, waiting for those 30 minutes to go by before my next round of pain meds. My daughter and sisiter made a huge palet on the living room floor, mattress, blankets, pillows, comforters, stuffed animals. My bedroom is directly off the living room floor, so they can see me (and watch over me!) My sister and daughter slept there and my hubby on the sofa. All so close to me (the other bedrooms are on the other side of the house).
Last night, my daughter wanted to sleep with my so bad. I am just not ready. So she and my hubby, one of the dogs and one of the cats slept on the palet. This morning I asked if they were going to put it back and they were both horrified! They have decided they will sleep there until "I am better"! They think they won't be able to help me if they are in the bedrooms on the other end of our house!
As I walk through my home, it looks like a child and a man are in charge! :-)
What am I learning? I am learning that all the love and insistance of "family time", "family dinners", "family game night" etc are all coming back to me in the form of unconditional love! :-) My job is to stop pushing this love away amd allow others to do for me!
I am learning, it's OK if I don't look like me, swollen, large, ratty hair, sunken eyes, haven't showered in 10 days. It just doesn't matter! They all love me and temporarily aren't seeing the matted hair! :0
I'm learning it's Ok if my house looks like a child is in charge.
I'm learning that there are many ways of doing things and it's ok if there is a mess afterwards, take a deep breath and let go!
I am learning the true meaning of unconditional love!
I know my story scares many of you who are waiting for surgery. This is why I wanted to share this part of my journey also. To show that there is a silver lining in every journey..... Shari