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How about a depression, pain, anxiety about depression or pain, or just feel discouraged or crappy t

This thread is for venting, crying, complaing, supporting, helping each other with ANYTHING. If your troubles are not listed in the title thread, let me know and I will add it!
I am Jodi.
Today is Sunday and I am I am in mierable neck and muscle pain.
This is so depressing and frustrating.
I do suffer from depression and OCD.
I am on antidepressants and anxiety meds.
But when my pain is bad, believe it or not my OCD is a little better.
Probably because I am stuck on this couch not able to do any of my compulsive cleaning because of my pain.
So I pretty much sit here on the computer, playing or reading to my kids.
My husband is WONDERFUL.
Right now he just got done cleaning the livingroom and is now doing the dishes.
Did I say he's WONDERFUL?
An hour ago he wa pressing the knots out of my neck nd shoulder and then held me while I sobbed from the pain.
You can't get a better man than that.
I am still crying, but just knowing he's here helps.
I am so frustrated and miserable.
Anyone else out there having a bad day/week/year/moment?
Feel free to unload here.
I'll be sitting on this couch pretty much all day :)


  • I'm with you in the pain department today. We had friends over last night to celebrate St. Patty's day early, had some fantastic home-made corned beef and cabbage, had a few cocktails and played Cranium. So, while playing Cranium, I acted out scenes, and since I had a few cocktails, I wasn't thinking about pain so I did way too much.

    Today, I'm paying for the game playing and my neck, back and arm are killing me. On top of it, my little Wally is begging me to take him for a walk while it's only 35 degrees outside.

    I'm not sure I'll be stuck on the couch like you, but I'm with you today and share your pain.

    I hope you can feel better today and I'm so glad you have a great hubby. Mine is wonderful also, and although he's not big on cleaning, because we had company over, he cleaned his little heart out yesterday so there's not much to do today.

    Take care, Jodi.
    Your fellow spiney in pain,
  • Hi Cath,
    I'm glad you had a good time with your company! I know the "next day" feeling though. I was able to get out of the house on Friday and help with the carnival at the kids school. I still haven't recovered. It seems like every time we spineys have a chance to get away and forget out troubles for a little while, we always pay for it the next day. I think Friday was the first day in months I have gotten out of the house (I cannot drive due to medical issues) and my neck, head and shoulder hurt so bad. We have to get out or have people over though. We'll go nuts if we don't!
    Take it easy today. Maybe your little one could settle for a "mini" walk? Sometimes even a cookie and a story will satisfy them.
  • I think it is the season, for overdoing , even a little bit can be too much.

    On Friday I had the opportunity to work two Ron White shows, my wife wanted me to buy her tickets, so instead I worked the shows so she could see them. Then I did the load out of a small sound system. Saturday I paid the price all day. It was also the last day of my Valium script so I only had two 5 mg left. I can take up to 6 5mg a day, but am scripted for 4. At the end of the day, I was feeling a little better so I went into my shop and did a little bit in there.

    Yesterday was one of those, NO you are not doing anything days for me too.

    Today we have the joy of daylight savings time, so I don't care what the clock says, my body was not ready to get up this morning! I will be glad for the extra daylight at the end of the day after I adjust, but right now, I need a nap!
  • Hi Wrambler,
    I am going to enjoy the daylight too. But my head and neck are still killing me. Hard to enjoy the sun even when your in pain. I feel like taking a nap too, and it's only noon!
  • I LOVE Ron White, he cracks me up!!! You are a good person to work the show and let your wife see it.
  • I am in terrible pain, physical and mental. My back pain and sciatica has me on edge. My oldest daughter's learning disabilities and near psychotic outbursts have me on edge. My mother was just diagnosed with Altzheimer's and is deteriorating before our eyes. I've pretty much given up on doctors helping my pain. Due to the time I miss from work, I've been told to not bother applying for a promotion to a position that was designed for (and partially by) me... but at this point, my mindless unfulfilling job is the best part of my life. I am trapped, sad and in pain and every day it gets harder and harder to get out of bed.

    I can't say this anywhere else, so I'll say it here.
  • You've got a lot on your plate and sound quite depressed. Does your Dr. have you on any kind of anti-depressant? If not, maybe look into it, being depressed seems to go hand-in-hand with the pain issues. Getting the depression to a reasonable level has helped me cope better with my own pain and depressed situation.

    Hope things get better for you soon, this is a great site for support when you need it,

    Take care,

  • lisa burek said:
    You've got a lot on your plate and sound quite depressed. Does your Dr. have you on any kind of anti-depressant? If not, maybe look into it, being depressed seems to go hand-in-hand with the pain issues. Getting the depression to a reasonable level has helped me cope better with my own pain and depressed situation.

    Hope things get better for you soon, this is a great site for support when you need it,

    Take care,

    I know this is a great site and lots of great people are here. And thanks to everyone for that. And if I knew what to ask for, I would.
    No, the doc does not have me on any anti-depressants. I am very resistant to taking any more pills and when I have taken them (have tried 3 kinds in the past) I get unpleasant side effects. And honestly, I am not capable of going to the doctor for yet another problem. Mentally I just can't do it right now.
    My GP is the one prescibing the meds in my signature because the PM I was going to had no plan of action, lots of fees and seemed disturbingly unconcerned with how my quality of life was degrading... and he was the best specialist I have seen yet. The others were even more dismissive and degrading.
    I have been considering going to a psychologist (again), but am having a hard time bringing myself to do that either. I am a successful man with a good (if unfulfilling) career and a family and everytime I set foot in a doctor or shrinks office for something more serious than the flu, I am treated like I am a 2nd class citizen and I get mad and don't go back.
    So, I haven't been to a doctor for myself since early November and as much as I know I need to go to see someone, I just can't... I'm not sure why, but I can't.
    But you are right, I am very depressed and at my wits end. I don't want things to stay the same, but I don't want to keep going to doctors and failing to get any results or even any caring. It just makes things worse.
    And before anyone goes the wrong direction with this, I am not going to do any harm to myself. I have too many people counting on me... and my kids deserve a father even if he is just a shadow of his old self.
  • I sympathize for all you are having to deal with right now. You certainly have alot to deal with. I can't offer you much except to tell you that I, like you are in pain and have alot of personal issues with it and family right now. Pain is a really hard thing to deal with, and with all the other things going on in your life, it only intensifies everything.
    I understand your not wanting to go to the Dr, but about a 1 1/2 years ago, after 2 years of back pain I realized that i couldn't deal with much more. I went to the Dr for some help with depression. I, like you, did not want to add to my daily pill count. But, I knew that it was something I had to do in order to see things on a different level. I started on Cymbalta, and after a while I had to go on Effexor. I know that it isn't easy to go off of these things, once you start. But I also knew that I couldn't keep on living with all the stress and the depression as well.
    It is something you really need to think about. You have alot on your plate, and by the sounds of it, it is not going to get any easier anytime soon. You say that you want to be there for your children, and to do that you need to take care of yourself. I don't want you to think I am trying to push pills on you. I just know that I just can deal with alot more now, and with the continued problems I have I don't know how I would have done it without help.
    Your mother's diagnoses is one that is hard for a person of good health to handle. And as time goes on it is harder and harder. A psychologist would be a good place to start. They can help to lighten the load whether just talking or by that and medication. And you don't need to feel like a second class citizen. There is nothing wrong with seeking help when you need it. I am sure that maybe being successful, it makes you feel like you are weak. But you are not, you are strong for realizing that you have problems and need help to deal with them. Please don't take that the wrong way. Successful people are successful because they realize how to deal with things and solve problems. You are just doing that, trying to solve a problem. I hope this makes sense to you and that you can get some help to deal with everything that is being put on your plate at once.. I will be thinking of you and hoping that the days ahead are better for you. Take Care, Robin
  • Thank you for the kind words. I needed them.

    After posting here yesterday, I did something I haven't down for a long time. I took the time to write down how I have been feeling. It helped me organize my thoughts and let me realize a few things about myself.

    One of the things I realized is that I am really, almost physically, having a hard time seeking help. Ok, that doesn't make sense... I'll explain. I have the numbers of 5+ doctors and psychologists in my wallet, but I can't call them. When I try to call them, I get upset and can't continue. When I say upset, I mean dizzy, tunnel vision, heart jumping around in my chest and sometimes tears. I didn't realize until yesterday that these physical reactions aren't just from the stressors in my life. They happen more often when I am inteacting with a doctor or their office.
    This kind of explains the weird, dizzy, out-of-body, can't remember it later experiences I often have with my doctor's appointments.
    I have failed with so many doctors and I feel so betrayed (too strong of a word, but can't think of one better) that I just freeze up.
    I have a pretty good relationship with my GP, so maybe I'll start there again. I still freeze up in his office, but at least I don't feel like I am going to pass out just calling him.

    On a side note, I spent 2 hours consoling my 5 yr old daughter last night. She is catching on to her "Nanny's" problem (Alzheimer's) and is so sad and worried. Despite a long, hard, painful day, I think I helped her through it pretty well... but you are right, this is just the beginning and that scares the hell out of me.
  • I hope that in some small way I can help others, as others have helped me. I am glad that you are thinking about going to your GP. One thing you can do, is take a sheet of paper and write down all that is troubling you, emoitionally and physcially. And take that to your appointment. I am doing that now for a visit to U of I to get problems with my head, vison blurring, headaches, temple headaches. If I dont do this, I tend to forget what exactly is happening or miss something important. With you freezing up, I would think that this would be very helpful in getting the most out of your appointment, medically and emotionally.
    I am glad you could console your little girl. It Take Care, Robin
  • I just have to add my newest stressor to this thread. As if I didn't have enough on my plate with the my constant pain, problems with my daughter, my mother's dementia and my diminished career prospects... now, my wife has lost her job of 15 years. That's 50% of our income gone.
    The worst part is that there was NO reason for it. Her evaluations are excellent. All the feedback she has gotten was good to exeptional. She was promoted to department chair person 4 years ago. BUT, she worked for a nun who took a personal dislike to her and others. That nun is getting removed from her post as principal at the end of the school year because of her poor judgement and mistreatment of employees. But before she goes, she is getting rid of those she doesn't like. One last vengeful act from the b*&%$. And because she is a nun, the Diocese will stand by her regardless if she is right or wrong. They might reprimand her privately, but they'd never publically admit fault. What's one teacher to an organization that can shield child molesters?
    Needless to say the stress has my back in knots, but now more than ever, I have to work through it... Isn't life grand?
  • Robin I say it all the time but don't do it enough myself. When I get to the doctor I know all the things I want to talk about. Then I get in the room and he walks in with a smile and says "how are you?" and idiot me says FINE!! After that I feel like I'm complaining if I try to say something is bothering me. It really annoys me that I know he has 5 minutes to talk to me and is thinking about how backed up his schedule is.

  • Depression so much of our inspiration and energy that if hard to be doing laundry or washing with depression like dishes.Coping can keep up with day-to-day cleaning was difficult destroys. I have an injury that I changes.Depressive chronic pain disorders and life make one tired, feel useless, helpless and frustrated with the left after the depression has developed. Such negative thoughts and feelings make some people feel like giving up.
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