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Chronic pain and Family - How to deal

dilaurodilauro ConnecticutPosts: 9,858
edited 02/02/2016 - 11:20 AM in Depression and Coping
Loved Ones and Family

This has been a topic that has been discussed so many times.

I know it is somewhat difficult dealing with someone in chronic pain or going through surgery. In many situations, it is us, the spinal patient that have it easier while our
loved ones, spouses, etc have it harder.

1 - Understanding
They don't completely understand your medical condition. They only know bits and pieces of it.

2 - Anger
They feel angry. I think that stems from them not really understanding your situation. They feel helpless and that they can really not doing anything to help you.

3 - Fear
Fear in the fact that while you are recovering you know you have to pick up the additional work load. They try to figure out ways to pick up the additional necessary workload.

4 - Worry
For families with two incomes, losing one of them can put an additional strain on the entire family. They know that you are hurting, need to take all the medications you do and many times see you down and depressed. All which they can not change

There are many other reasons, so it is difficult to document them here. Some of the issues deal with the patients inability to take care of themselves. They might have to shower them, dress them, etc.

The best way to deal with this type of situation is to have complete and detailed discussions. There needs to be time set aside so that they do know whats hurting you and how to provide the best help.

Many times, I hear about members who can not have those type of open discussions. If that is the case, over time, the chronic pain and impacts can only turn negative. Then you have a tumbling situation that is heading no where.

If anything, work on having open two way conversations. Try to understand how they are feeling, ask them and then explain your problems and what you are going through.

Its not easy, but marriage was never meant to be a simple and easy thing
Ron DiLauro Spine-Health System Administrator
I am not a medical professional. I comment on personal experiences
You can email me at: rdilauro@veritashealth.com
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