Well, today is my last day of normalcy before my surgery. Tomorrow I have to pick up my mom at the airport, and then we're driving out to Austin. I have to be at the hospital the next morning.
I've been really freaking out about it for the last week or so, but I'm honestly to the point where I'm too tired to freak out about it anymore.
We finally got my bed put together (I'm in the middle of moving across Texas, oh joy - what timing!) so at least that's done.
I've hardly gotten out of bed in days, and am actually looking forward to being in the hospital, because there won't be anything I feel like I have to get up and do. I can just lay in bed and sleep and it won't matter. I see my psych in 10 days, and it's a good thing, as the new meds aren't really helping at all. I'm not actively suicidal anymore but that's the only difference. Bah.
My roommate finally figured out that I'm freaking out yesterday - she asked me what my favorite comfort food was and made it for me for dinner. And she bought me a big bag of reese's pieces.
I'm really hoping things start to look up after my surgery... I just can't go on like this.