Welcome, Friend!

It looks like you're new here. If you want to get involved, click one of these buttons!

Veritas-Health LLC has recently released patient forums to our Arthritis-Health web site.

Please visit http://www.arthritis-health.com/forum

There are several patient story videos on Spine-Health that talk about Arthritis. Search on Patient stories
Protect anonymity
We strongly suggest that members do not include their email addresses. Once that is published , your email address is available to anyone on the internet , including hackers.

All discussions and comments that contain an external URL will be automatically moved to the spam queue. No external URL pointing to a medical web site is permitted. Forum rules also indicate that you need prior moderator approval. If you are going to post an external URL, contact one of the moderators to get their approval.
Attention New Members
Your initial discussion or comment automatically is sent to a moderator's approval queue before it can be published.
There are no medical professionals on this forum side of the site. Therefore, no one is capable or permitted to provide any type of medical advice.
This includes any analysis, interpretation, or advice based on any diagnostic test

How to deal with the pain and feeling alone

kellyandcharkkellyandchar Posts: 10
edited 06/11/2012 - 8:43 AM in Lower Back Pain
Hi all this is my first post, I live in pain everyday as do all of you... but how do you deal with it and how do you deal with watching life pass us by? I have worked at the same job for 14 years and have suffered a long term work injuy. I am waiting on wc to approve and of cource they
have denied the surgery so now the lawyers are on it.
i have 2 herniated disc L4,L5 and s1 has a tear, constant left leg pain swelling of the leg numbness in my toes,mus spasams tender to the touch and so on...I ave found alot of comfort in reading all of your post and it helps me not feel so alone.

I started having problems last year in may with my back and out of fear of losing my job I tried to just deal with it and not go through w/c but in oct. I hurt my back worse and my new boss made me fill out the w/c paper work and life as not been the same since!!! I have a lawyer now to help deal with them and I have already met with the w/c attorney but now that the DR says I need to have a level one fusion they all of the sudden dont want to pay!!! the DR showed me the letter and I was so upset and I dont understand we already went over all of this but they want to see just how much of the surgery they are going to have to pay for, I have been at this job for 14 years and have gave more than 100% and now this is what I get!!! I worry everyday that when this is all done I will not have a job and then what I am a single mom and right now the DR will only let me work 2 hours a day (he lets me do this because he knows I am affraid of getting replaced) I just want to e fixed so I can go back to work and I am tired of being treated like I am just hanging out at home on vacation!!! I pray that w/c will do what is right but I am sure they wont without a fight!!! It just should not be like this

Thanks for any advice


  • It's rough you're going through not only a back injury but WC denial! Maybe you can get legal counsel or utilize your Union at work if you're in one. I hope it all works out for you. Keep us posted. Take care. Charry
    DDD of lumbar spine with sciatica to left hip,leg and foot. L4-L5 posterior disc bulge with prominent facets, L5-S1 prominent facets with a posterior osteocartilaginous bar. Mild bilateral foraminal narrowing c-spine c4-c7 RN
  • Howdy Charlotte,

    First off, Welcome to Spine-Health!! You will find a wealth of information on here from fellow spiney's!

    Sorry to hear you are going through all this, and with WC to boot! I hope your lawyer is on top of this and all works out very soon. As to the job, I am equally sorry to hear what's going on there as well. I have almost 30 years with my government, and as of the 22nd of this month, I am officially retired under the disability retirement system. I am okay with that now, as my "brain" is on board. The main thing is this, most "jobs" even "careers" are subject to the move forward work machine. I found once they saw I couldn't physically do the job (law enforcement/pilot), I was gently eased off the radar if you will.

    You sound like your still "fixable" so hopefully you will get some good word towards your medical issues, and this will give your employer a light at the end of the tunnel that you will be back. I wish I could help, but know that many on here are more than happy to give a *hug*, be a sounding board, or just laugh or cry with you. Take care, and again welcome!!!

    PCTF C4 - T2, Laminectomies C5, C6 & C7. Severe Palsy left arm/hand.
  • Charlotte,
    These imposed changes are not easy and living in constant pain and adapting to our new normal takes time, resilience, knowledge and understanding. Pain is never how we imagined and the impact of change restricts who we are and what we are able to do, our hopes and dreams.

    In learning how to cope with pain we have to find what works for us and introduce more of that and some reality of the things we can no longer do while constantly adapting. With my 20 years of experience I continue to find those daily limits of capability a problem and that never goes away, the best chance is that we can develop our own freeway route, stay as close as possible to all those things, experience will provide an improving strategy.

    Not being able to work through pain is an imposition and you are doing well trying to sustain employment in challenging circumstance, and using all what you have learned so far to keep going. We can only change what we are able and watching our own and others life go past is upsetting, in having recognised and acknowledged this you are best placed to try and do something about it.

    As you say, many here have constant pain and still manage through that turmoil to be making some progress however small, pain is our lives and every improvement is disproportional to the effort needed to develop new ideas.

    Living this lifestyle does isolate us from normality, our friends, relationships and the working aspect, this is not a vacation, although some may view it in those terms they do not have to live your life, it is up to you to seek out the things you can do and use those as a platform for addition accomplishments, it is not easy. It must take a lot of effort to achieve your 2 hours of work a day and the doctor is aware how important any employment is to us, the key is to pace well, and find individuals who can support you, good friends encourage us.

    Your HR department should provided some information to your specific situation and be supportive, it is only natural to worry about continuing employment when you have not been informed with the relevant information.

    Only you know if the next step is invasive surgery or whatever you decide, you survive pain everyday and have a family to support you are doing a good job, progressing forward as and when you can.

    Take care and good luck.


  • insurance companies are always trying to cut costs, in many cases they hire a goon to deny surgery even though it is absolutely necessary. has your lawyer communicated with your surgeon. the surgeons aggressive stance may be all you will need to bring about your surgery.
    keep strong and just know we are all behind you.

  • Thankyou all so much!!! It really helps to read all your word of encouragement. I just got home form my two hours and I amd beat it is so hard to know that I use to be able to work 12 hour days with no problem but now 2 hours kills me, but I have faith that it time w/c will do the right thing because I am not going to give up and go away they are going to fix me so I can get back to a some what normal life. Some days are better then others and today is not one of the great ones but I will keep on pushing on till they approve my surgery..

    Thanko all again and I look forward to meeting some new friends here. It does feel good to know we are not alone !!!
  • Char,

    With this site, you will never be alone! :-) We have nerves issues of all manner of causes, and since though different, so much is the same, it joins us all together like a huge family! Glad to see you see that now. *HUG*

    PCTF C4 - T2, Laminectomies C5, C6 & C7. Severe Palsy left arm/hand.
  • Hi all I hope you are all as good as we can be...
    I wanted to update I got a call from my attorney and they have sent a letter for demand of treatment to the w/c insurance company!!! they have 10 days to agree to the treatment or we have to go to court :(
    lets hope we dont have to do that!! They said my dr, made it very clear that i need to have the disc o gram and the level one fusion, we have alread met with the w/c attorney back in march so there is not much else to say... so it will I guess it comes down to how long they want to put this off.

    In the past few weeks my leg pain has been very bad sometimes it gets to the point that I can barley walk and finding any pain relief is getting hard, i have muscle spasams, the pain goes all the way to my feet. headaches all the time this week not sleeping all night. I am so ready to have the surgery a little scared but something has to help.

    thanks for listening is has been a tough week.

    S1 TEAR
    pain is all the time now :(
  • I hope WC agrees without having it go to court. Sometimes the Insurance companies require physiotherapy and spinal injections before surgery but guess it will depend on your case and the discogram results.

    I have to find a Lawyer myself as I heard going on STD then LTD would be better than going on WC. I sometimes regret that decision as now Long term disability is forcing me to apply for Government and my work disability. They sure don't make it less stressful either way do they? Prayers you get the treatment you need asap. Take care. Charry
    DDD of lumbar spine with sciatica to left hip,leg and foot. L4-L5 posterior disc bulge with prominent facets, L5-S1 prominent facets with a posterior osteocartilaginous bar. Mild bilateral foraminal narrowing c-spine c4-c7 RN
  • Charlotte you arent the first person who has been caught in the workers comp trap. Many people are so afraid of losing their job that they don't file properly. If you get hurt at work, by law in most states, you must fill out a report within 12/24 hours. If not you can end up voiding your coverage. But many bosses discourage claiming workers comp mainly because they don't want to look bad.

    Usually workers comp, which can be private insurance, self-insured(most unions) or state adminstered, works pretty well as long as the circumstances are clear and the paperwork is in order. My husband has had three knee surgeries and shoulder surgery under comp. Each time they had everything approved and paid out immediately. I had him in for one knee surgery in less than a week after the accident because he didn't want to miss hunting season!! A few calls to the comp nurse cleared the way.

    Because you waited so long to make the comp claim they are probably considering it a partially preexisting condition. When it's not a clear accident injury the coverage can get cloudy.

    Hopefully in your case they will just need a little nudging. Keep us posted.
  • Thanku so much for the advice... I go back to see my Dr. on tuesday so I hope to hear some news then. I just hope that is is good news so that we can get this goingand hopfully be better soon.
  • Sorry to hear that you are having some rough times. I wish you the best with all the legal stuff and I hope they can resolve things soon.

    The question as to how I go on....that's a good one. Sometimes I wonder about that myself. My kids and hubby keep me going. I try to enjoy some of the simple things in life. I try not to get down on myself for not quite being the person I was a year ago. I may be different physically but my heart mind and soul are still the same.

    I hope that this forum brings you some comfort and encouragement.
  • i know how you feel believe me.
    kris is right about work comp. so let the lawyers do their thing and get it fixed for you.
    with work comp. you unfortunally have to jump thru the hoops, and try every consertive measure available, then wind up getting a 2nd and 3rd opinion before they approve anything.
    thats what i've gone thru and my kids got tired of listening to me but they understood and were there for me.
    unfortunally work comp is a insurance co. and they love taking money in and hate paying it out. but in the end they will have too so be patient and listen to your lawyer

    best wishes and hang in there
  • good news today!!! nothing like waiting til the last minute but they approved the discogram today. so I will find out monday when that will be and the attroneys think that they will approve the surgery as well but they are setting a court date just incase. thankyou for all your thoughts and prayers I am very nervous about this test but I know that it has to be done. Has anyone had this test done? what can i expect?

    thanks so much again
  • Charlotte,

    So good to hear that things are finally coming around and looking up for you! Please keep us posted on how it goes. Having the attorney getting a court date "just in case" is a very good move. Sounds like you are being represented with common sense and pre-thought. Good for you!!! *hug*

    PCTF C4 - T2, Laminectomies C5, C6 & C7. Severe Palsy left arm/hand.
  • The best way to deal with pain and feeling alone is by reaching out - and you did. If you post enough, people will become familiar with who you are, you'll probably make some really good friends on the side (as well as on the board). A few that may last a lifetime.

    Worker's comp. is just as difficult as disability, insurance companies, health insurance, etc. There's always red tape...but remember that the squeaky wheel gets the grease.


  • Thankyou all... I feel that all of you are truley the only ones that understand and that makes all have a true bond!!!! I should find out tommrow when my dicogram will be and so I hope surgery wont be to far after that. I wish that there was something that they could do for all of us so we would not have to live with this pain for the rest of our lifes :)...
    maybe someday they will!!!!
  • I am sorry to hear you are going through this. I also need back surgery and one that was covered by my insurance last year is now not covered so I am looking at alternative surgeries. It makes you feel helpless sometimes. Keep your head up!
  • avery

    I am so sorry to hear that... I hope
    that you can get something done soon to
    make you feel better! I go wed. For my disc o gram I am a little scared about it but I know it has to be done.
    I am blessed that I have a great dr. I just love him he is one of the best in kansas! And he,
    also has back problems so he is very understanding to my pain. I hope after this test surgery won't be to far away.thankyou for your post and you keep your chin up to.i am so thankful to have this site because you all have been so helpful and starting to feel like a new family.

    thankyou all char.
  • Thankyou all for your support!!! They have approved my surgery so I will be having a level one fusion on
    July 19th. I dont really know what to expect and I am very nervous but I know that it is the right choice for me and am so thankful that they have finally approved it. any advice would be appricated
    like how long does the surgery take, how long do you have to stay in the hospital and so on... my Dr is on vacation this week so I can not ask him all of these questions and his nurse kind of confuses me LOL... Thanks again for all your support.

  • Charlotte,

    So glad to see things finally are going your way!!! I can almost feel your relief that this has finally been approved - and the 'light' at the end of the tunnel can finally be seen! Good for you woman!!! *HUGZ*

    PCTF C4 - T2, Laminectomies C5, C6 & C7. Severe Palsy left arm/hand.
  • The aloneness is the worst for me. I feel like people don't understand, especially the emotional lability I am going through with all of the medication changes. They just think I'm losing it.

    But you're not alone here :)
  • I hear you on feeling alone... sometimes you feel like wearing a sign or something!!! only people that have back pain truley inderstand that it is real and it just doesnt affect your back it affects your whole body and your mind!!! i am so thankful that my Dr told me about this site because it has really helped me to understand what is going on and that I am not alone.I am very nervous about this surgery but I know that it is the right choice since we have tried everything else and I am not getting better!! I just want my life back, I know that things will never be the same for me but I hope that they are better then what I feel right now. This is all I seem to think about since they approved my surgery and I have not been sleeping much either dont know what I did but the pain has been a little worse the last few days and when I lay down my legs and hands go numb!!! just crazy... sorry to be rambling just cant sleep


  • You have found it char! :-)
    You have joined a very friendly and supportive site. We are going through very similar, or even the same, symptoms and understand. We won't get fed up of hearing you talking about your problems. :-)

    I was also very scared of surgery. I really felt like I couldn't face it! But after learning what it entailed, and hearing others stories on here, I slowly began to realise that it was going to be the only way forward for me.

    I am so glad that I had the surgery. I am so much better, and improving each week. I still have pain sometimes, but mostly I feel fairly normal again. I would say that my surgery has been a success! <:P
    It has certainly achieved at least as much as I hoped. Probably more! I had been told that it would deal with my leg/sciatica symptoms but my back is feeling much better too.
    If you don't have surgery, the chances you will stay the way you are, or you could get worse.
    For me, the surgery was the way forward to improve my symptoms and get my life back again.

    I am starting to do the things that I had promised myself I would be able to do after my surgery.
    That feels sooo good! Life is good again. :D

    I really hope that you will get the same relief.
    Once you are on this side of surgery, the anxiety is gone, and the relief of that is wonderful. It is a long hard recovery, but your life right now is probably hard too. Do keep asking your questions. And please do let us know how you get on.
    We'll be here to support you through the recovery.
    You are not alone; there is a whole bunch of us here with you. Together we can do this. :D
  • Hello everyone, so I have two more days till surgery
    and I am so nervous!!! Cant sleep I know it will all be ok but still just worried. thank you all for your support and advice it really meens alot to me and my family. I dont know where we would all be if we did not have this sight to et such great support and advice!!!


  • Hope that you have a good weekend. Do the final preparations for your recovery once you get home, but most of all, try to do something you enjoy.
    Perhaps go out for a meal, or at least eat a favourite meal. :-)

    We'll be here waiting for you, once you are able to post after your surgery. :H
    We will support you through the recovery.
  • Hello,
    How are you, none of this is your fault and I spent many years at home while being asked when I would return to work, for the most part those things that we were measured for may be on the decline and we have to find a new list of capability.

    This does take time and practice, in attempting to achieve what we did in our old healthy personal we plan for becoming disappointed with ourselves in not being able to achieve what we once did and that may have gone for now or ever. We are all trying and know how difficult surviving and improving can be.

    We have to make the things we can do now, carry the same weighting as the things we used to do and although we and others may measure ourselves against old objectives, our new normal makes those previous achievements problematic.

    In the things we can no longer do, we do feel isolated and once those invites become less we are more alone, on the basis that our associates do not know how continuous pain feels like we are adjudged to being distant and evasive when all we are trying to do is survive every day. We know loneliness and isolation are factors in the traits of chronic pain and must adapt as best we can to find the new us, get the support and encouragement we deserve and align ourselves with those best placed to help us.

    Pain is my life and the future, we are never alone here, somewhere others know exactly how we feel. It is strength in numbers, accounts of how others cope and endure, ideas with the right encouragement.

    Take care.

  • I haven't contributed to this thread yet, but wanted to wish you the best on your surgery.

    Am I right that you're having a one-level fusion at L4/5? I had that surgery this past January, so I'm just over 6 months out and I can tell you that I'm feeling better. I still have some pain, but I'm really not expected to feel "back to normal" until a year post-op.

    Even though it's a long recovery, it's really worth it, especially the day you realize that the only pain you have left is the pain from the surgery and that all the other stuff is gone. For me, it didn't happen right away because things got a worse before they got better when I got home, but once you start getting on the upside of recovery you'll know it and start appreciating the fact that you had it done.

    Take care of yourself this weekend and indulge yourself. Get out when you can, go to your favorite restaurant and just enjoy your freedom. And like Jelly said, make sure you're "station" is stocked and ready for you for when you come home.

    I'm anxious to hear about your recovery, so post back when you can post-op. Maybe start a new thread in the recovery section because if you continue here, it'll probably end up with over 100 posts wishing you well! :-)

  • Good luck with your surgury......
This discussion has been closed.
Sign In or Register to comment.