I'm 29, and I feel and look like an old lady with a walker. I cannot dress myself without injury, cannot shower or shave without help from my mother. It's so embarassing, and I'm ashamed of my injury, and how I have had to try and cope with it ever since. I was hurt initially on Jan 10, and was misdiagnosed for two ER visits in two weeks time until I was able to find a GP connected with a hospital. (Here in the Uk, I'm finding out that EVERY health problem requires you go to the gp first,or you have a hell of a time trying to get anywhere.
I have had two mri's, i have a herniated lumbar disc l3/l4, an annular tear at l4/l5 and horrible sciatic pain through my left leg down to and through my big toe. I have 24 hour back and leg pain, with little to no relief. I have been in this state for five months now, and the 5 consultants I have seen give me way less hope compared to the people here on this site who have to cope with the same issues. If it wasn't for them, I would not have considered to keep trying to live like this until hopefully someday soon I get some serious procedure, medication, or surgical options.
I hardly know the date or the time anymore, so i have my phone alarm clock set for every twelve hours when i need to take my medication. I have an appointment the 18th of May in a town 15 minutes by car, but you know that car rides are the bane of my existence now. Apart from this forum I am alone. I live with my parents, who in all serious do not believe what i have is a serious condition at all. They try to ignore all of the groaning, moaning, and screaming from the constant pain, as i suppose i would to, because there is nothing they can do to help until i see yet another doctor. All of their friends or relatives have some minor slipped disc story they tell them, and it sounds like it was no big deal for them, and while i'm on pain medication to ease the suffering so i can get my appetite back, sleep, or not swear and cry when i HAVE to use the toilet. I've begged my parents on my knees to help me find a spine clinic here in this new country that has an outstanding facility, surgeons, therapists, ortho doctors, but they say of course, and five days later i ask about it, and they are on to some new theory about how if i do a physiotherapy boot camp or extremely intensive and effective program, i will be all back to normal in a few weeks time.. They know it's the 5th month of suffering without sleep or sanity, and i feel like i'm an invisible person,probably because they think i'm exxagerating about the pain, but it's ALL TRUE!!!! even dinner discussions about minimally invasive procedures/surgery (because I've had as many steroid/anesthetic injections I can have within a year) they won't hear it anymore. They will not support my decision to even try to seek out surgeons who are great at microdiscectomies, and they flat out refuse and are angry i keep trying to hold on to it. On the other hand they are the same way about medication. I'm worried that because the pain is constant and has gradually gotten worse each day, I may possibly do more damage if i let it go like they want me to. I cannot pretend it isn't draining me or my quality of life, but as i've recenlty been through some pretty horrific stuff in life, they expect me to shut up, and get on with it. Get on with what though, I can't sit down after 5 months, just lay flat or stand (with worse sciatica) This has nothing to do with my folks not being able to pay for the procedures, but since my dad had a bulging disc twenty years ago, (he was super healthy and athletic everyday) and he was able to manage recovery without any surgery, i should too. I have no friends over here, or any other people to really trust talking to other than my folks, but if i talk about the pain like it's no big deal, and then change the subject, it's the only garuntee that they won't give me a hard time about it. I ashamed and embarassed enough with how i've had to cope with falling apart, but i have no other choice. I would even fly back to the states for any treatment necessary, but i cannot sit, and even a stretcher would help me to stay in one place for 6-8 hours on an airplane.