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feeling crumby

jayhawkjjayhawk Posts: 1,032
edited 06/11/2012 - 8:44 AM in Back Surgery and Neck Surgery
I just feel crumby, all the way around. I am frustrated. I am trying to progress with PT and struggling. We keep modifing the exercises and still it is too much.

I still have up and down issues with swelling.

Yesterday after PT, I did everything thing right. Stayed for icing. Came home to rest (rather than running errands). Within an hour, I had increased pain. Burning, throbbing, stabbing in my right leg and low back. The initail pain meds that I took didn't seem to help so after a couple of hours I took something else.

Spent the rest of the day on the sofa.

Today isn't as bad, but my right leg still aches and burns.

I am just so tired. Tired of the pain, tired of the brace, tired of being tired, tired of the swelling and not being able to wear all of my clothes, tired of it all.

I know it would do me good to get out of the house, but I don't feel up to it.

My hubby tells me to take it easy. I'm tired of taking it easy!

Sorry to vent and rant. Just wish I could take a week off of this recovery. Revamp, reboot and then come back and finish!


  • I swear I heard you say chocolate sundaes for everyone!!

    I wish there was a way to make this easier. Have you talked to your doctor recently? I know you are anxious to get back to work but maybe you need some more time. We don't all heal the same and only you know how you feel.

    And if all else fails get some chocolate!
  • I don't see him until the 15th of June. At that point, I anticipate he will release me for work.

    It wouldn't surprise me if I tried to go back, and then needed more time. But I need to try.

    My right leg is just burning.


    Chocolate would be great! Just wish I could get into my clothes. I had a ton of swelling, then it went down. But now, just stays where it is or gets bigger. I worry it may not all be swelling. Except, it is shifted to the left.

  • I have had a lot of swelling around my incision and still do. Also the muscle spasms are getting worse. Do they do any massage for you? My PT did massage to get the fluid moving so it reabsorbed.
  • no massage. My surgeon just tells me to be patient. My PT tells me to ice. My clothing tells me "oh no!".

    I bought new shorts, a couple skirts. If it's not better in a couple weeks, then new work pants.

    If I had a crystal ball and could see that it would resolve at some point .....

    My PM thinks some of it could be neurotin.

  • sorry to hear about your feeling down, sounds like frustration setting in. I know and understand how you feel, maybe when you see your doctor ask him if he releases you back to work to do it as a trial basis to see if tou can handle the activity of your job. And on a lighter note in the meantime go to toys r us and get one of those kiddie punching bags and release your frustrations on that. lol just trying to lighten up your day. Sure hope you start feeling better.Anytime you need to vent just do it, Everone needs too at one time or another. MY BEST and take care.
  • that when you go for your June appointment, you will be so much better than you are today. 4 weeks is a long time in terms of healing and making progress after surgery.

    I do certainly empathize with you though - I get sick and tired of being sick and tired. I just want the "old" me (which of course would be the younger version....). My husband "kindly" pointed out that kind of thinking was counter-productive and that I need to realize "it is what it is" (his favorite saying these days about everything. I would love to bip him on the head everytime he says it!). His most annoying trait is that 95% of the time - he's right.

    Sorry - went off the trail there - but, seriously that was a pretty major surgery you had. It will take time to heal. Try not to get so outdone with the slow process that you do something that will erase the progress you've made so far... (if that makes any sense)

    Good luck and keep us posted with your progress.

  • its your body jay, and if you feel like you need a week off then by all means contact the pt and tell them so. take that week to revamp and then continue on. if they cant give you a reason to dissuade you, i say like nike ...just do it!
  • Thank you so much for your kindness! Hopefully I will be back to me soon!

    My hubby even gave me some "mad money" (no pun intended) to do a little shopping. I don't even want to do that. But, I did accept the money.

    The pump to our pool needs to be repaired. That would help to cheer me up. It's already so hot here. Yesterday the heat index of 99. I don't want to go walk...

    maybe I just need to sit at a patio somewhere and drink a margarita. or two, or three.....:)

    The repairman promises to call tomorrow between 8-9, do I dare believe him?
  • If i remember correctly your in Texas me just south of chicago i cant wait til we get some of that weather up here. It will come in time suppose to be 80 degrees by the weekend. Now you got money in your pocket go to toys r us i think they still have those bozo the clown punching bags there, then your hubby will think you have gone off the deep end and feel sorry for you lol just kidding. Have a beer for me. My Best.
  • Today the pain is very much like a tooth ache, it just won't quit. Deep, deep unrelenting aching.

    It is suppose to storm this afternoon. Maybe that is it.

    I haven't ached this bad in a few weeks. I will never forget this pain...

    Jim I love the idea of the punching bag! I think it would be a hoot. You may see me on the news....

    Texas woman goes mad.....mumbles something about bozo....punching.......surgeon......pain.......
    husband is messy......

  • I'm sorry you're not feeling well especially with PT. I hope they can fix the pool pump for you. That's so relaxing to get in the water and get some sunshine and cool off. I hope they're not working you so hard at Physiotherapy. I overdid it yesterday at my aqua therapy and my leg and back are feeling it now. The PT was so worried that she set my back in pain. I can't imagine how you can walk with your brace on in that kind of heat! I hope you can get your errands done soon. Prayers for your healing and hope you feel better soon. Charry
    DDD of lumbar spine with sciatica to left hip,leg and foot. L4-L5 posterior disc bulge with prominent facets, L5-S1 prominent facets with a posterior osteocartilaginous bar. Mild bilateral foraminal narrowing c-spine c4-c7 RN
  • and praying that tomorrow will be a much better day for you after a good night's rest. :-)
  • You are always so sweet, positive and encouraging to others! Thank you!

    I think the thing that is so frustrating is how I just don't know I have over done it until it is too late! I ride a bike first to warm up, and I get the endorphines going and then I'm really excited to work out.

    In "real life" when you work out you push yourself, work out longer, harder or lift more weight.

    Not the case now!

    My hubbie is going to pick up some take out food for dinner, I'll grab my heating pad and snuggle in on the sofa! Too bad it isn't winter!
  • ;) hiya jayhawk
    i love your saying in your sig..so get up and dance in the rain...hell just get outside and stand in the rain if ya have to..
    I sure know how ya feeling been there so many times..and I have a hubby leaves me a note everyday
    get some rest feel better....
    And it sure gets tiring,but i figured i'm blessed to have him in my life and he thinks enough to leave me little notes still.
    You have been thru alot and you will get thru this so vent ,cry get it all out thats why we are all here for you.....
    and most of all get up tomorrow and go out anywere
    even short walk..
    hope you get up n out soon
    thinking of ya
    neck,bone spurs pain started 04, back issues and fusion l4,l5 06~hardware removed.
    good few yrs. 09 pain sharp, numbness feet,legs, diagnosed fibro, neurop. legs.lung issues.
    daily goal do good thing for someone.
  • Maybe it time to back off PT, at least for a couple of visits. I have found that when I'm feeling like its to much, especially the day after PT, that if I skip the next 1, or 2 PT's that I feel better and can go back without it bothering me. I don't have the leg pain that you mentioned but did have a similar surgery.

    Just to be clear I'm not acting like or in place of your doctor or PT person. Sometimes the push, push, push gets to be to much. There you go take a week off. Cain't hurt and may help.

    Hope you find some relief and that you find a way to get your swelling down.

  • Dear Jayhawk,

    I feel your pain and frustration, its a challenging time as we recover from surgery and try to get back to our old seleves, and the more time goes by, we think we should be healed and are frustrated that we are not where we want to be.

    I am not even a week post op and I already feel guilty that I cannot help with dinner or housework, my husband is taking care of everything and the kids and I know he is exhausted. He would be more angry with me if I tried to help and hurt myself so I know I have to take it easy now so that I can be better.

    Please be good to yourself and kind to yourself. Enjoy the little luxuries that surround you every day, like your husband, the sunshine, "mad money" etc

    Is there some movies you'd like to ctach up on, or a book you have been wanting to read, find something that distracts the pain and gives you pleasure.

    I wish we all lived close by so we could meet and have a spiney support group, that would be fun!!

    It will get easier and it will get better, don't give up. You've already come along way. Just know that you have lots of people who care about you and your not alone. I wish I could do or say something really inspirational to help you, but I do care.

    Do you have a wii???? Something to think about, lots of fun exercises and games to do with the wii, you might really enjoy it. I love when we put the wii on, turns into a fun night with lots of laughter.

    Keep smiling,
  • Well if you combine chocolate(Kris has a thing for chocolate), shopping, the pool and margaritas and you have the perfect ingredients for recovery!! Hang in there...Lynette
  • Jayhawk...sorry you are struggling. I know everyone says it will get better and I'm sure it will but until then, those words don't help, I know.

    Your hubby is too sweet offering you mad money to splurge on clothes for yourself.

    I say splurge on fixing that pool pump so you can enjoy the pool! That will make you feel good.

    I'm trying to come on nightly but I have been working full days and then some, and am just plain wiped out and usually asleep by now.

    My doctor keeps reminding me it isn't a daily or weekly improvement. He keeps reminding me that he hopes at month 6, I can say I'm a bit better, then again at month 9. He said it won't be "HUGE" improvements but that if I can say "yeah I'm doing a little better", then things are going well.
  • I had a couple of set-backs during recovery. Sometimes your internal inflammation can be even worse than the swelling on the outside. It can make things extremely painful. I had to do a medrol pack several times along the way - steroids to take the inflammation down. I hated taking them, but they helped get me over the hump and I'd always feel a lot better on the other side. Don't wait for your appointment. Let your doc know how you're doing.

    3 level spinal fusion, L3/4, L4/5, L5/S1, November 2008. Stiff, but I can walk.
  • One of the things I found with Neurontin is that I have to really focus on staying well hydrated. Since I love to exercise and also enjoy the occasional chocolate cupcake, if I don't keep my water intake at a reasonable level, I can pick up a bit of weight. Once I dial in the right amount, then it comes off like it should.

    I vote for using the mad-money to encourage the pool guy to repair the pump faster.

    Hope you get to feeling better soon.

  • Thanks for the info about neurotin! This swellin/fluid/? is driving my crazy! So I will increase my water.

    Honestly, lately, I haven't been drinking much. My hands are so swollen, I took all my rings off weeks ago and just aren't wearing any! I had even forgotten.

    Now is the time to drink alot too! Before I go back to work!

    Thank you!

    Pool guy "promises" today~if not, I WILL hunt him down! :0
  • I'm sorry that you're still feeling bad, but I don't think it's too unexpected. You went through an awful lot.

    Dave might be right, you could back off on PT for a week to give your body a rest. I was lucky in that when I'd go in when I was hurting particularly bad, my PT would take it really easy on me and do mostly massage and manipulation. No, it wasn't pain-free, but it wasn't the major stuff that we ususally did.

    Yesterday, I went to Bed Bad & Beyond and got myself one of those zero gravity outside lounge chairs, a self-standing umbrella that tilts, and a chair to go beside my lounge chair. As soon as I get it set up, I'm all set to lounge in my chair with a drink by my side, in the shade with my laptop or a good book. That could be good use for your mad money, unless of course you already have that kind of setup.

    I hope you get to feeling better soon. I'm sending you a gentle hug today.
  • Cath111 said:

    Yesterday, I went to Bed Bad & Beyond
    Thats a good one. Got a good chuckle out of that.

  • Well, I went back to PT today feeling a bit better. My PT agreed that my pain appears to be nerve based.

    I had started doing lower body abduction and adduction on the weight machines (and I was so psyched) but I think right after that on Mon, I started to feel it in my right leg.

    She worked on my aleignment issues. Between weakness, guarding, stiffness, my pelvis constantly gets out of aleignment.

    We decieded to skip the ab and adduction for today.

    I tried to be careful and more thoughtful about my range of motion during the exercises as I tend to get so excited and my range is often too large.

    So far so good. I have some burning, but not like Monday....

    But,...tonight, my adorable daughter has her induction into the Jr Honor Society.....45 minute ceremony....not ideal, but hey.....I have told her forever that " SMART GIRLS ROCK"!!! I gotta be there!

    I am one proud momma! Oh and did I mention, she is beautiful on the inside and out too!! :)

  • Just popped in to see how you are :-)
    Glad to hear that your physio went better today.
    My turn tomorrow! :SS

    Hope you are having a wonderful time this evening at the Jr Honor Society ceremony. Enjoy that wonderful proud moment and give her a clap from me.
  • What better way to put a smile on your face and watch your daughter receive the Jnr Honors society award. Thats wonderful, a very proud moment! These are the moments that make everything worth while.

    I hope you have a fab celebration!!!

  • Uh oh, that wasn't on purpose, so I'm assuming it's a freudian slip. LOL
  • My PT recommended that I call my surgeon about the numbness.

    Today he is in surgery all day.

    Left a message with his nurse.

    Hoping it is nothing, but I do still have alot of swelling.

    Hope everyone is having a pain free or reduced pain day! TGIF!
  • your surgeon operates on a Friday! You knew that!
    I'll be praying for you, that this is a simple thing that will sort itself out.

    Hope that you have a pain reduced and relaxing weekend.
    Take care :-)
  • Just wondering a what point most who have had a fusion begin to build stamina and endurance.

    I am 11 weeks post decompression and 360 L4-5 and I am exhausted. We have friends in town( but not the type you have to fuss over :)).

    I have kept my activites simple each day~Fiday lunch and Target. Sat evening, my daughter's theater performance and dinner after.

    I am exhausted!! Today we are going to the Astros baseball game :( I don't want to be left behind! I did that for so long!

    Last night I slept for 11 hours, but woke many times with pain in my right leg. Today it is a bit numb in the calf.

    Please keep me in your prayers today. The tickets for the game are already bought, and the guys splurged to get good seats. We are also going with my brother (who tragically lost his son 2 months ago).

    I want to have fun and smile, not be brought down with pain! I want to feel human again!

    Thank you my spiney friends! I am so thankful for you all! Hope the sun is shining on ya'll :)
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