So I decide to mow the grass last night, which I have not done in a very long time. Now I can not turn my neck, at all either way. If I do I get a really sharp pain in my neck. It is not muscles either, I usually know the difference. Seriously, I can't even mow grass anymore???? This is really starting to all get to me again. I can't do anything. I know, I know, it could be worse but it is driving me crazy that I changed so much after surgery and I am not getting better and still can not doing anything without having to pay for it later. I felt like I had gotten to a place where I was trying to accept all of this ad know that I am not the same and can not do all of what I used to but it seems like I can't do anything.
About a week ago my left arm started falling asleep and I have pain down to my elbow at times (it is not constant), which my right arm falling asleep and pain down my arm was what I ended up having surgery done to begin with.
It is all just so sad. I keep wondering what I will be like in ten, or even five more years and I just see a life of pain and being unable to do anything. And yes I am whining/venting/complaining/feeling sorry for myself, etc. I am sick and tired of this sh!t. Every time I think things are better, they go straight to hell again.
sorry all, had to let it out some.