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Got fired

William GarzaWilliam Garza TexasPosts: 2,353
edited 06/11/2012 - 8:44 AM in Matters of the Heart
Well it finaly happened, got canned, My faulty memory made it impossible to remember the sequence of events I needed to follow to properly function at work.
The sad part is that ive been watching myself lose blocks week by week. Some say it may be ADD? concentration is nonexistent, and when i do i dont remember too much of what I was studying or tasking.
Who knows where this little foray into the land of forgetfulness is going, but it will be interesting.
BTW, I remember being bathed under the kitchen faucet, gumming th cradle bars and other things from wayyyyy back, but last week?

head injurys

who knows, but the one thing is that I can literally live moment by moment, one to the next.
odd no?
The worse part is that the store of vocabulary shrinks as the words are harder to access, rather than effortless as it was.

lets see what the docs say, coz since I dont work, the meds will be turned back on, maybe i can see a shrink to see where the circit is shorting out.

William Garza
Spine-Health Mod

Welcome to Spine-Health



  • Sorry hun. Don't take it personally. Obviously something is going on that is beyond your control.

    Are you taking anything now? I know between the neurontin and skelaxin I was a vegetable. I warned my family and they were able to help me along. Luckily work never caught on but I did make alot of lists.

    If you aren't taking anything (you post kinda hints at this) then maybe the pain is causing you to not remember and function well.

    Either way see if your doc can write it up so you get disability. Sounds like that should be easy.

    I know you are feeling hurt and upset. BUt maybe this is for the best. Now you can focus on you and getting to 100%.
  • Thanks for the comeback, ya, been denied meds by w/c. and been off for a while, funny how things work out though, the less meds you take, the clearer thinking your supposed to get, but then pain does its normal course of things. I know i scared a lot of people with all the assorted noises people make when in pain, figured my boss was uncomfortable witht the escalation of symptoms, but ohh well.
    I have a high tolorance for pain, its a curse coz i keep on going when i should stop and take it easy.
    I made lots of lists, reminders etc and no dice. I cant figure why i cant remember sequences, odd...
    thats the rub, remembering the order of things,
    thanks and have a gentle day!
    William Garza
    Spine-Health Mod

    Welcome to Spine-Health

  • Sorry to hear. I hope you get to the Dr. and find out what's going on. I hope you can apply for disability now. Take care. Charry
    DDD of lumbar spine with sciatica to left hip,leg and foot. L4-L5 posterior disc bulge with prominent facets, L5-S1 prominent facets with a posterior osteocartilaginous bar. Mild bilateral foraminal narrowing c-spine c4-c7 RN
  • j.howiejj.howie Brentwood, Ca., USAPosts: 1,730
    I'm sorry to hear this. And all I can say is I feel your pain.
    Good luck, Jim
    Click my name to see my Medical history
    You get what you get, not what you deserve......I stole that from Susan (rip)
    Today is yours to embrace........ for tomorrow, who knows what might be starring you in the face!
  • I dont know what happened, memory just isnt there, like someone just deleted it, gaps and fits and starts in trying to get to them. maybe BSE? kharma ehh? for all the burgers down through the years! lol.
    Its not so bad really, i can spend my days with no regrets coz i cant remember if i did anything stupid earlier in the week.
    maybe it is add or sumthing of that sort, we'll see
    William Garza
    Spine-Health Mod

    Welcome to Spine-Health

  • Ranchhand,

    So sorry to hear you are going through this now. I do hope things turn around for you soon. I'll send positive support energy your way. *hug*

    PCTF C4 - T2, Laminectomies C5, C6 & C7. Severe Palsy left arm/hand.
  • hugs to you all
    William Garza
    Spine-Health Mod

    Welcome to Spine-Health

  • Ranch,
    You have worked hard and been thinking on your feet for some time, the short term memory loss is never easy and hard to explain I too have that list making strategy, anyone taking copious amount of medication would struggle to remember and it is to your credit that you have coped admirably.

    This a new chapter and new opportunities will arise and take you on an unknown journey, it for me did release some of the pressure of trying to do the impossible and when the emphasis stopped I understood how hard I had been trying to maintain normality, or at lest my own version.

    I have been assertive in not accepting tasks that necessitated short term competence and developing additional methods to cope with my own declining and erratic memory, I lost my job many years ago and it is not easy, over time things will change for the better.

    Take care and rest a while, your experience and effort has got you through before and will do so again.

  • all wounds.............it will get easier. I am so sorry you lost your job and I am sure you are going through so many different emotions as you accept all that has changed in your life from your pain to the loss of your job.

    I hope the memory loss is just a temporary reaction to your stress but please get it checked out. I am sure the doctor will need to run tests and make sure that everything is ok. Please keep us posted, don't accept this, find out whats wrong!

    In the meantime, I wish you well and I hope like John says you use some time to relax an take it easy for a while.
    Good luck to you,
  • After you speak with the doctor you might want to consider talking to a WC or disability lawyer. Without knowing your whole history none of us can really tell what is going on. But if this is related to your injury and surgery etc then the WC may still need to cover you.

    Most lawyers will consult at no charge. But check before making an appt to avoid surprises.
  • Ranchand,

    I am sorry to hear of this. It is never easy to lose a job. Even harder to lose it because of a medical condition you have no contol over.

    As usual, you sound as positive as can be and taking it all in stride. Good for you!

    I could say, Great, we will be seeing more of you here on SH or at least you will have more time to concentrate on fixing you but I'm not sure that's exactly what you want to hear. Truth be told, I wouldn't begin to guess what you want to hear. Know that we are here for you.

    Hang in there. I do look forward to reading more of your great words of wisdom and uplifting post. If you can remember them. A giggle intended here!

    Do keep us posted!

    John, I loved what you said.

    "it for me did release some of the pressure of trying to do the impossible and when the emphasis stopped I understood how hard I had been trying to maintain normality, or at lest my own version."

    It really made a lot of sense to me and hit home. I finally DID give up trying to maintain that normality at my own job I HAD BEEN BEATING MYSELF UP OVER IT. Just now after reading that line and letting it sink in I realized, it did release a tremendous amount of pressure. I didn't really realize HOW MUCH until I read that line you wrote. THANK YOU!

  • Ugh, so sorry.

    I have been going through the same thing. I know you just wanted to vent, and didn't ask for help, but something that has helped me so much, and I put it off for too long.

    I know it won't be in the budget for a while, but when it is... get a smartphone. I carry mine with me everywhere, it's my brain extension. I have apps for everything. I don't even try to remember things anymore, even my phone number- I have an app that displays it right on the front.

    Like someone said, once I took the pressure off, it was like- whoosh. I also started telling people, instead of trying to hold it together, and that also made it better. Why was I holding on to the old me? I just said "Listen, I am not really with it, so if I drop the ball don't assume I flaked out, drop me an e-mail."

    The stress of trying to pretend that I was "normal" was so huge. It is so much easier just being the mom with no short-term memory, like I really am.
  • I got a Droid it is GREAT! i keep a few apps open, the youtube, calender, email etc. and all the numbers i need, its been a Godsend. and I do the e-mail me thing a lot.

    I tell people now that Ime not ignoring you, Ime not like that, Its just I dont remember your name.
    I have to associate an action with the person, my School mate keyed really fast, so for the longest time when I tryed to remember her, or tried to tell folks of who i was talking about, I would describe here as girl who types fast, aka as Jennifer.
    My friends know and adjust to my faulty wireing, and we giggle together gently when "I pull a Willie"

    I got my droid in January, now just trying to keep the pup paid is the issue. Ime trying to apply for unemployment online so maybee ill have a way to keep the bundle for internet.
    Thanks for the come back!
    William Garza
    Spine-Health Mod

    Welcome to Spine-Health

  • You didn't deserve this, but it happened, and I am sorry. The same thing happened to me, and I wish I could know it would never happen to any of us. Your positive attitude is wonderful and makes ALL the difference.

    Wishing you well from Tennessee
    Jane Tatum
  • Yep, I have a Samsung Moment. What apps do you use most?

    My google calendar is my lifesaver. I am also using Evernote. I jot notes about things. I take pictures and jot notes on them. Stuff like that.

    Also, of course, I can have all of my medical contacts with me at all times!

    If I had a job, though, I'd have been fired long ago. A few times I've screwed things up for my kids. Boy, that feels bad :( I should have another login called notsohappyhbmom for those days!
  • weather channel app, google maps, "gps status" which has all kinds of goodies..mainly a speedometer coz mine dont work, contacts, the e-mail, i can only figure out how to get my g-mail, but thats ok, But mainly the contacts where i keep the info on people who call me.

    there is on called my tracks that kind of keeps waypoints of where you been.

    The google sky maps is awsum! just open and point and itl tell ya whats there!

    William Garza
    Spine-Health Mod

    Welcome to Spine-Health

  • dilaurodilauro ConnecticutPosts: 9,839
    One door closes
    Another one Opens

    Ranch, I can feel for what you are going through, been there a year ago. What first looked a bit bleak turned out to be a silver lining.

    My first few weeks at 'laid off' I became a total couch potato. I did nothing, I made nothing, I said nothing, I just sat around. Finally, after getting a good swift boot from my wife, I got myself into gear.
    Started to volunteer at the Hospital. Then in a few weeks, the job at the wine shop opened up, my computer consultant job began to blossom.

    I am busy now, no, not 40 hours a week, but feeling real good about myself because I know once again I can contribute.
    Ron DiLauro Spine-Health System Administrator
    I am not a medical professional. I comment on personal experiences
    You can email me at: rdilauro@veritashealth.com
  • Its funny you should mention that, on the way home I stopped for diesle, and turned to the local Christian station, and the first words out of the announcers mouth were...

    Soon as I can get the memory issue sussed out, or at least get direction toward an ends i will begin the new direction.

    I cant wait to see what tommorrow holds, mainly coz i see the doc to get my meds back, well, we'll see, seems the carrot is always held out.

    There are court appointed special advocates here (CASA) which help kids stand and have a little voice in court. also there is a lead on the other end of the spectrum, helping the aged and infirm, we'll see

    lifes not over, its just stopped and kind of looking around isnt it?

    The mental judo isnt an issue, I kind of just bend and bob and weave! How else can a person assess the nature of the adversary,
    thanks for the caring and sharing!
    William Garza
    Spine-Health Mod

    Welcome to Spine-Health

  • I was canned after my first surgery. So I know how you feel. I still think about the unfairness at times. But that was out of my control. I tried to pretend for a long time that it did not bother me.
    Time and talking does wonders...
  • I guess we can all relate to this in some form or another.
    I still function relatively well, but have found that when learning new things, well, it don't stick so good. I wrestle my way through learning whatever it is only to find the next time I need to do it that "file" is not able to be accessed! I am trying very hard to do the association thing for names, but it takes me forever to get a new persons name nailed down.

    Part of me is fairly concerned, but there is a part that really does not care at all. I don't know that it is process I can stop, I don't know if it will get worse. I only know, that tomorrow is tomorrow, I remember the big stuff, kids, wife, pets.

    I also like to say that 100 years from now, IT WON'T MATTER TO ANYONE!

    Take care Ranchy, you've always been a good read on here. Stick around and let's hope the new door opens and shows you a new way.
  • Ranchhand,

    Just thought I would stop in and say Hi!! I hope it is getting better for you, and like you've seen, it isn't the end, but maybe a new chapter beginning? Just thinking of you. *HUGZ*

    PCTF C4 - T2, Laminectomies C5, C6 & C7. Severe Palsy left arm/hand.
  • since the work is gone, income is done, the county approved the meds again..yay!! but ive to wait till the 28th..nay!!
    but there is a silvered lining!
    pity that ive got to be indigent to get relief, rather than productive and in pain.
    but ime not going to look a gift in the mouth!
    William Garza
    Spine-Health Mod

    Welcome to Spine-Health

  • lol! :SS i sure hope. been a while, so hope there is not too many hoops to jump
    William Garza
    Spine-Health Mod

    Welcome to Spine-Health

  • happened to me. i couldn't work on the meds or off the meds. surreal, really.

    i have mini blackouts now. stupid little stuff that happens throughout the day. like...i've totally freaked when turning on the kitchen light and the fan comes on with it. "i" didn't turn the fan on in the dead of winter....so what the heck? it's scary. adds to the anxiety, loss, sadness of what's going on in life.

    you just make the best out of what you've got, i think.

  • Ya I catch myself sometimes kind of drifting off, I know I was going to do something, I set out to do it, then I get to say the Grocery store and , I go ahhhh..hmmm, frustrating when It goes like that, so I kind of wander the store then let my feet take me where i need to go, and most times withing a few min I remember,
    senior moment? 42, wonder whats over the hill for me.
    Working with meds was bad enough, having to fight the effects, then the cold turkey withdrawal, funny how some ins. docs forget "first do no harm" then the pain w/o the meds.............
    which is where thing got interesting.
    you find the shape and form of the beasty and learn its limits, bummer no?
    William Garza
    Spine-Health Mod

    Welcome to Spine-Health

  • No kidding! I went through a gauntlet of medications and side effects during my last years of working... and the meds are a disability in themselves, yes?? I never knew if I was going to pass out in a bathroom somewhere!

    Medicine is in it's infancy - and we are the guinea pigs for future generations. Generations before us got us to where we are. It's a noble position to be in though I'd rather not have been elected.

    "The beasty"...LOL. Good one. Sometimes you just have to tie a string around your finger, write stuff on the palm of your hand...and learn to laugh at yourself. I'm not much older than you - so I'm allowed to say that. =)

  • and then sometimes it does work!
    William Garza
    Spine-Health Mod

    Welcome to Spine-Health

  • MetalneckMetalneck Island of Misfit toysPosts: 1,364
    one door closes ...

    another door opens ....

    The question is how long is the HALL inbetween!

    Hoping you hava a short hall.


    Spine-health Moderator
    Welcome to Spine-Health  Please read the linked guidelines!!

  • Guess what???
    there is none, the administration says I dont qualify, didnt make enough to qualify.
    guess i need to change my name to the man who falls through cracks?
    William Garza
    Spine-Health Mod

    Welcome to Spine-Health

  • Are you kidding???? I've never heard of that. Please be sure to call them again and see if a different person tells you the same thing. Some of those gov't people are missing some rocks in their brains.

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