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New member dosn't want to sound like a broken C.D., But....

DustyDDusty Posts: 10
edited 06/11/2012 - 8:45 AM in Depression and Coping
Hello, Im Dusty, Im in my early 30's, and am about at the end of my chain with cronic pain. My health reads as follows. About 3yrs ago I had to have my appendix removed twice due to an incompetent doc, 4 months later I had a meckel-di-berticulum removed from small intestine, (this resulted in a year off work total. Once up and going again as a truck driver my back hurt as it had for about 3 yrs, I worked through it for the next 11 months till one day I couldnt feel my left foot , went to my family doc, had a MRI and was sent to a nuero surgon. He said I had a herniated disk and needed some shots at a pain mngt. office. with no relief and increasing symtoms the desission was made for the aspen process fusion at L3 &L4. I am 14 months outta surgery and frequently wish I were not here anymore and am now going in next month for L4 &L5. About 18 months ago I was on top of the world, or at least climbing at a steady pace. Good job, great wife and kid, and a brite future. Now, I"m beyond broke, cant work, me and my wife are having problems because of the stress, my 7yr old son cant understand whats wrong, and I battle everyday with myself because it all started with me and I dont want to go through this anymore. I eat very strong pain meds all day plus cymbalta to try to stop me from going completley nutts but as this goes on I am surley loosing my grip and have become mentally and physicaly exhausted. I have singed up for social security but that isn't coming fast enough. I just cant see this getting better. I know there are worse off people out there but where do you draw the line? This is hell...
2 low back fusions. 1 neck fusion. Lots of therapy, injections, and so on.


  • You've taken the most important step to finding some relief from your stress, coming here for support. If we're in the chat room, come on in. We'll try to answer any questions you have and also try to lighten up things with a bit of humor. Believe me, it helps!!

    Best wishes,

  • Welcome! Sounds like you have a treatment plan. Yes many of us don't get away with just one surgery. So don't feel bad about that.

    I would suggest that the most important part of you as a patient is to get mental, social and economic help. Even if you had the best insurances it is hard for you and your family to adjust to the changes that have hit all your lives. You are in pain but your wife and son suffer with you. From the little things like not being able to buy that new video game to the medium things like not being able to go to that ball game to the bigger things like changes to your intimate life with your wife and the huge things like losing a house - this is much more that just about you.

    There are a few ways to get help. If you are religious speak to your pastor. If they can't handle this (and some just can't) then try a psychologist who deals in chronic pain (check with PM docs office for referals) or if you don't have insurance then contact the county health department. You all need to understand what has happened and how it will affect your family.

    Kids are resilliant. Explain to your son that you need his help more than ever and give him some responsibilities he can handle. THis will make him feel special and strong. Very important.

    Your wife has to be your support. And it sounds like she will be but you two need to do some talking. She needs to understand whats going on so going to doctors appt is very important. You also need to figure out finances. Ignoring the bills never get them paid!!

    Our society treats the body not the mind and soul. If we face the problems head on they are far smaller than if we try to tackle them from behind. Remember the adage "a problem shared is a problem halved". There are solutions and there is help.
  • Dusty I am sorry your having to join us here at the spine health forum but I will say it does help to find other people that are having similar experiences. For me it is just nice knowing that I am not alone. Chronic pain is a real stress on people emotionally and financially. It puts a huge strain on relationships as well. You mentioned you were having trouble with your wife, it's hard but open communication is a huge key in my opinion. You should really have a sit down talk and open up and tell her how you are feeling. I know it is easier for some people than others but you don't want her to feel shut out and get resentful. Sometimes letting the other person know how you are feeling especially as a man feeling guilty about not being able to support your family. It is easy to just want to try and hide away and want to disappear. But you have a wife and son that need you, sometimes the little things that make a big difference. You may not be able to go shoot hoops with your son but you could read books are hang out with a special movie and popcorn. Hugs go a long ways with the women folk. :0)(That's just my opinion of course). Hang it there!!!
  • hi and welcome to the forum! :H we are here to offer you support and answer what questions we can. i can read that you are very distressed both physically and emotionally.. i hear you!!! it is more than disappointing when a second surgery must be faced and the first one did not offer the relief you expected.. did you get a second opinion on this second surgery??? there is alot of info available here..but it sounds like you need help with your heart.. there are so many problems that go with chronic pain besides just pain. not sleeping, marital problems, sexual problems, money problems, job problems!!!! so it is a big encompasssing situation. perhaps, coming to the forum, you will just feel better getting to talk to others in the same boat you are in.. i hope this does help!! you will get some good ideas on what do to next i am sure! stop by anytime. we are always here to listen... all the best!!! and pm me anytime you would like to chat!! Jenny
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