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I am pretty sure I blew L5/S1 finally

happyHBmomhhappyHBmom Posts: 2,070
edited 06/11/2012 - 8:45 AM in Chronic Pain
I felt it coming, actually...my left foot had started going numb every time I sat down, and my back had just been increasingly painful. I told my pain doc I thought it was one of my disks bugging me.

Then the other day I was taking care of my horses and *pop* there it goes.

So my range of motion is significantly restricted now. Things have been going downhill for a few months how, mostly because I have just been sick- ever since my high blood pressure diagnosis, I have been trying to find a medication that didn't make me really ill. I haven't been riding, and my back has been suffering. I finally decided about 2 weeks ago to sell my horse (I have 2, one is my daughter's) and have been really devistated about the decision, but as things go from bad to worse the chances that I'm going to get back to riding seem less and less, and I just can't care for both horses when I'm not feeling well.

Anyway, so he is leaving day after tomorrow to go to a sales barn. I have shed more tears than I thought I had, really. I'm not sure what I'm going to have to bring me back this time.


  • I am bummed that you have come to the decision to sell your horse. That has got to hurt and I am very sorry. Is there any way that you can hire someone to help you care for the horses while you heal from the acute phase you are currently going through?

    It has been right around 6 years since my last round of lumbar surgeries, 3 years since my 2 posterior cervical surgeries and 1 year since the 2 revisions on my SCS. I decided a few months ago to get back into riding and training horses. What motivated me was seeing my 7 year old niece who has cerebral palsy going through "horse therapy" for core strengthening and balance. I figured if she could do it why couldn't I. I found someone willing to work with an adult with spine injuries and it has been a wonderful experience. Basically the only things I don't do, are shoveling out stalls and carrying heavy feed. I can ride, do ground work, groom and saddle without any problems and it has been a great emotional and physical boost for me.

    I don't know your situation at home, but wanted to share this with you in case there's a way you could manage and not give up on riding and caring for your horse.

  • I can't imagine how you were able to make that decision. As Haglandc says there can be a future and if that horse means so much to you try to find a way. How about your daughter? I find if I break things down into smaller pieces I can get them done. Maybe you can find someone who will ride him for you in return for doing chores. That would solve two problems for you and buy some time.

    What do you think will happen with your back now? Is surgery an option now? SOmetimes we have to get worse so we can get the treatment we need. I hate it when doctors tell you that you aren't bad enough...ugh.

    I'll be praying for you as you make this decision. It's so hard to be an adult.
  • Wow!! I am so sorry to hear you are thinking of selling your horse! I can feel the pain in your post, and no, I don't mean the back pain! *HUG* As "C" and Kris said, is there any way you can hold off selling your horse - at least until you find out for sure if your back is/did what you think it did? I'm pretty sure you are probably right, when my neck blew, I felt it, and knew it. To me that means that maybe now they will go in there and work on you?

    Like "C" I don't know your full situation, so this of course might be mute. I just hope you will reconsider and give it more time before saying goodbye to such a loving friend.

    PCTF C4 - T2, Laminectomies C5, C6 & C7. Severe Palsy left arm/hand.
  • HappyHBmom-Sorry you think your disc finally blew and that you are going to have to sell your horse. After this last round of spine issues I had to put to rest having more children, it was a difficult decision but the right one. It is crappy they we have to give of things to make it but I guess that's just the way it is(bummer). I've also given up the dream of riding snow mobiles which is also really hard. No one will ever be able to take the memory from me of riding in fresh snow, there's nothing quite like it. Just like no one can take the good memories you had riding horses. Again I'm so sorry!!
  • I am *so* sorry. As a fellow horse person my heart goes out to you as you face this difficult decision. I'm just so sorry you are facing this. My thoughts and prayers are with you. *Hugs*
  • I am so sorry that you are aelling your horse, I cant imagine the how you must be feeling right now. I will be thinking of you and praying for you and your situation, and that maybe there is a solution. Big hug from all of us here at spine health! Lela
  • I am so sorry you are going through this!

    Is there any way you could lease or partially lease your horse to someone?

    We are partially leasing a horse for my daughter is summer (rather than sending her to camp). So, essentually we are paying to take care and ride the horse. They still pay for the stable and food although my guess is our rate covers that too.

    I'm OK with that, as I get to have my daughter home for the summer and she get to do what she loves!

    Let us know what happens! Keeping you in my thoughts and prayers!
  • No, I've gone through most of the options already. He really has to be sold. When I'm ill, I just can't care for him at all, and we can't afford to have someone else care for him all the time.

    I do have the other horse, and I can ride him. He just isn't my dream horse, so yes it is painful. I had a lot of plans, most of which got scuttled by the health issues that have plagued me of the last few months. Usually I'd be making more plans to speed up my recovery, but instead I'm having to rewrite it all.

    I'm sorry if I'm not making much sense. I feel a bit disjointed. It is really hard for me to see him go.

    I still don't know about surgery yet, I am trying to get in to see the neurosurgeon I want to see. I would at least like them to consider it, because of the effects the pain meds are having :(
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