My doctor is I think the word would be paranoid about pain meds. She even made me sign a contract before she gave me Vicidon for the first time. I read a few people on these forums who have had to do the same. That was the first time I ever heard of it. Well, anyway. On my last visit 2 1/2 monhs ago, I came in her office crying my eyes out. Because for one, I had not had very much sleep for 2 nights because of the painand two, the pain itself. I was completely honest with her. Told her about how I can't walk straight. Or in my yard because uneven grounds make me fall. How I can't lift my arms above shoulder level. Well, she handed me a tissue and said "I hope you don't think I am going to give you pain killers all the time your too young" I told her I did'nt want pain pills all the time just for now till the pain spike went away. She gave me 30 hydrocodone 5/500 and put me on Neurontin which interacted with me ptsd. Now I am afraid to go back to her. I have been in pain scale 7 pain for 3 days now. Just sufficing on hot baths and pillows under my hips at night. I made an appt. with her for the 9th but i am nervous to tell her about my pain. I see it like this. If i was a drug/med seeker, I would have been in long ago trying to get pills. Ever since I learned about my spine problems. But all these years I have dealt with it but in the past 2 years it has been steadily getting worse. how to I talk to her about this without her thinking the worst of me? She has a plauge hanging in her office that says "You have the right to not be in pain. If you are in pain notify Dr. So and So and we will help you" Yeah right. I'm just frustrated. Today my pain is unbearable in my lower back, hips and shoulders. It is like this most days. I just want it to be better.