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My pain is affecting my son

edited 06/11/2012 - 8:45 AM in Matters of the Heart
My son is 8. He is a regular kid. Likes to play baseball in the backyard. Likes to play basketball and all that. In the past year or so, my pain has been to the point of not being able to get out of bed on some mornings. He is always saying "Mom , play with me" he has no other kids around here. All his cousins are in their 20's and he is alone with me from the time he wakes up until 8 in the evening. It just breaks my heart that I can't get out and play with him like he wants to play. I feel so quilty and sad for him. I grew up with 2 sisters and 5 step sisters and a step brother. I was never alone or bored. I hate that my pain is affecting him. I'm just depressed over it


  • I'm sure you are heart sick about your child.

    You didn't say whether he attended school or was home schooled. What about contacting some of the mothers of his school friends to see if they could take hime for a playdate? Most mothers are happy to have other children join their kids as it keeps them entertained and happy.

    Sounds like you don't have any family around who could help out -- Is that the case?

    If you belong to a church, there are always members ready to help out someone in need.

    Where there's a will there's a way!

    Take care and we're here to support you.

  • It's so hard to see those around us suffer because of our problems. Kids are the hardest because they rely on us.

    One idea it to give him responsibilities. Teach him how to make breakfast or lunch. Or how to do laundry. Or vacuum. All of these are things an 8 yr old can do and it will make him feel important.

    Another idea is to send him to a relative for a vacation where there would be other kids or an adult who likes kids. Or invite a slightly older relative to come visit. This might be a little harder but again a 10 yr old can certainly help out.

    Or try to find a camp or church program for him to go to. THere are things out there, you just need to ask. Churches have lots to offer and you don't need to be a member.
  • Thanks y'all. To answer DeltaLady, he goes to school but it is summer break. He has Cub Scout meetings every Tuesday but it is never a sure thing because somedays I just can't get out of bed. My husband would take him, but he works from 10 am till 9 pm. Only relatives i have are my 2 sisters. Neither has children. My husband has relatives but they are all elderly and his brother is serving a long term in prison. So, we are really all my son has. And Kris-NY, he has responsibilities but he does it for the money lol. He feels important but he wants the allowance. Then if he wants my husband takes him to spend it. That's about the only thing he gets to do that he considers fun. The other mom's in this town ( we only have about 150 adults in my town) I don't really talk to them they have their own little clique going. We don't really get along. It's one of those towns.
  • I know exactly where you are coming from. I have 2 daughters, ages 5 & 8. Its so hard to try to balance what you are capable of doing and what they want to do. Today I was in tears trying to set up this stupid slip and slide for them. I was just so frustrated and was having a "bad back day".

    This morning I woke up with the dreaded feeling of 2 months ahead of me trying to keep them occupied and happy while still needing to take things slow since my last fusion (L2-S1 with hardware).

    Its such a tough balancing act. I WANT to take them to the zoo (or whatever) but I know its most likely going to be a very long day and the next day I'll probably be wiped.

    We can only do so much. I recall lamenting about this same thing awhile ago and the many wonderful people on this site brought up some very good points: our children are learning compassion for others, doing the best with the hand we have been dealt, learning to make adjustments and prioritize whats really important.

    This is a great place for support. Feel free to PM me if you need to chat more.

    Hang in there,

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