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WHen nothing helps

sinatrafan44ssinatrafan44 Posts: 64
edited 06/11/2012 - 8:45 AM in Depression and Coping
I feel so despondent..I am in severe pain tonight and I have taken my max of 40 mg oxycodone and 2 alleve today..nothing is touching it today and I feel like I want to cut my arm off..I think I should never have had the surgery..I could deal with the numbness and neck pain but this radiating arm pain is unbearable..the NS just brushed me off on Wednesday, wants to do a selective nerve root block..Now I am questioning him and also thinking it could be my shoulder or elbow...i don't know anymore..all i know is the pain and I just don't know how long i can take it..working full time and dealing with 2 teenage girls and everything at home is just exhausting..I am so tired and I just can't find joy..I forced myself to go to a picnic..I had to leave early because of the pain..it was in the background for a while but then i couldn[t even engage in conversation because the pain was sscreaming inside..sorry for venting I just feel so hopeless..I know I have to give it time..I have a doc appt on Monday morning so I need to formulate another plan of action, find someone to do the nerve block, ask about the shoulder/elbow...i also find a better way to manage pain, maybe oxycontin, lnger acting..I am so fearful of addiction..i have beat alcoholism several years ago..that's all ..debating taking another 5 mg just to take the edge off..A


  • Never worry about venting to much we all understand and get it. As far as the nerve block that maybe a good thing. Nerve blocks are short lived but many doctors use them as a diagnostic tool rather than any permanent solution. If you get relief from the nerve block they will know that is the nerve that is firing away. If it works be ready to catch up on what you need to. When I had mine I was like I don't even want to go to bed, for the relief i got. But it did wear off on a week, but it was a nice week or I should say nicer as I have some other spine issues and that didn't address it. So I hope you get the same effect and then they can work on a more permanent solution.
  • I am so sorry you are in so much pain! We are here for you so feel free to vent away!

    Are you on any meds for nerve pain, such as lyrica or neurontin? You may find it helpful and if you are, maybe it could be adjusted as the narcotics are not giving you relief and often don't for nerve pain.

    If you are in horrible pain, you could go to the ER.

    Do you have a pain management doc? I have found them to be so supportive, compassionate and have the expertice in helping to find relief for unending pain!

    There is also Cymbalta which is an antidepressant that also helps to decrease pain!

    I hope this will be helpful for you! I know how hard it is to have unmanaged pain!

    We are here for you!
  • I am back on gapabentin for the nerve pain but it really does not have much of an impact..i will ask my doc to refer me to a pain clinic at a major health center that they have the folks to do the selective nerve blocks..I have tried Savella and had a serious reaction..I take zoloft max dose for the depression..And now I feel like..what if it isn't the neck at all..maybe I have something wrong with my shoulder elbow..maybe i have cancer..

    i am a mess..my daughter and her friend are having a b-day party and I just do not know if I can go..i feel so guilty...I am watching world cup soccer..I woused to play soccer and have such an athletic and healthy body..Injuries would heal..I just wish I could play..I was playing up until my accident..

    Yes I am grieving a lot of things that I once had..I should probably see a shrink to help deal with all this..thanks for listening ..my thoughts to all of you suffering as well...Amy
  • I understand your pain and your feelings. Its like a death. A death of our former life. I watch travel shows and burst into tears. Travel was something I so enjoyed. Now just taking a 1 hour car ride hurts. I cry about a lot of things. Like the sad look on my husband's face.His life has changed forever too. There are members on this site who have had chronic pain for years and I don't know how they have managed. I applaud them. Pain is exhausting, both mentally and physically. I am considering seeing a pain psycologist. We are here to listen anytime. Pain can be so isolating.
  • Amy,
    It is never easy when what we have tried does not seem to work and no easy solution is possible, it takes time perseverance and targeted emphasis. We only have a finite amount of solutions possible and here are where ideas and proposals are initiated and evaluated.

    How we feel about ourselves and our situation is key, to how we address all these issues. We have to find what works for us as individuals and keep what might happen based on probability in perspective, for the most part the things we think may happen and the worse case scenario never do, we are right to considerer a range of possibilities and stop linked jumps into a darker place. Having overcome your previous difficulties you already have that experience of how to improve and the confidence to try new things, it cannot have been easy and you have worked hard to progress and succeed.

    We all have to determine what a priority is for us and trying to do things that make the pain worse is trying to act normally when this is more difficult. Saying no, is never easy and we feel guilty for something out of our control, over time and experience we learn when it is best to decline for our own wellbeing. Acknowledging that the attainment of our healthy person is floating off into the distance is hard.

    I am a pain veteran and although this is not the lifestyle of choice I am surviving and know that the pan will never win, I will not let it, we all have periods when we are more successful in managing pain that others and that is sometimes not something we have done, we all endure these imposed and mandatory restrictions.

    You are thinking positively and getting some addition help if needed is you taking charge of the pain rather than letting it take charge of you, working while in this condition is not easy and you should applaud your effort and the determination needed for your accumulative responsibilities and all the things you have and continue to accomplish.

    We should have a developing and incremental strategy some of the things we try will not work and they are at the evaluation and usage stage, we only know over time if these elements will prove useful and we do put time and emotion into these developing ideas that prove unfounded, it is not about trying and some failure, it is about keeping any incremental improvement going. We all need success and see the balance of what we are achieving and use those positive vibes to improve our less effective areas.

    You are succeeding, you work and manage a family, you support them and others even when in need yourself and you will survive.

    Take care and be kind to yourself.


  • Don't apologize for venting we all need to do it. Sorry you're having such a pain problem. I have been going through some pain med adjustments and it has not been easy. It's hard dealing with kids and b-day parties etc when your in so much pain, then there's the whole guilt thing. You mentioned talking to your doctor about a PM clinic, it really might be a good idea. You could express your concerns because of the former alcohol issues. For me the PM doc has been a blessing I hadn't even considered it until I starting getting on this forum. Longer acting meds have been wonderful and then I have another one for break through pain. I hope the nerve block works for you keep us posted.
  • dilaurodilauro ConnecticutPosts: 9,875
    the guilty because we cant be who we really want to be and who our loved ones think we should be.

    Its so difficult living in chronic pain, and it also so very difficult for someone else to understand what it is like living that way.

    I know this may sound selfish, but until you get your pain under control, you need to put yourself as the priority. You need to find out what combination is going to give you enough relief so you can start to do some of the things you want to.

    If you just forget about yourself and force yourself to be there for others, you will be the one who suffers. And if that continues, it could cause longer term problems. So, if that happen, what you did to avoid guild to start with just might wind up costing so much very more.

    Talk everything over with your doctor. See if the can come up with other plans to help you on a day to day basis
    Ron DiLauro Spine-Health System Administrator
    I am not a medical professional. I comment on personal experiences
    You can email me at: rdilauro@veritashealth.com
  • Thanks everyone for your positive comments..it really helps to talk it out especially when you feel all alone and nobody seems to understand...Yesterday I saw my primary care doc and he been put on stronger and longer lasting drugs..Oxycontin 20 mg 3xday, Tramadol, Naproxen, Prednesone for a week, Gabapentin 2100 mg/day, and oxycodone for breakthrough..the good news is that last night and today I have been 95% pain free..While I assume it is not a given that it will last, I certainly have enjoyed the day and I have been grateful for this day that I have not been consumed with pain..I am getting my selective cervical nerve block at a major Pain mgmt Center that do these procedures instead of the community hospital where I live. Again thanks for all of your kind feedback,,I really appreciate it..Amy
  • Have you had a recent mri of your back/neck and shoulder?

    If not, I'd ask for one to make sure nothing has changed. I ended up with a partial shoulder replacement due to avascular necrosis (dead bone) on the ball of the humerous, right shoulder. They would never have found it had the PM not asked for an updated mri. I'm not saying you have that problem. recent films are well worth the time to be sure nothing physical is going on.

    My replacement did not fix me, but it helped.
    I also was diagnosed last year with Bi-polar type II depression.
    Finding that out was like turning a light on in a dark room! We dropped the typical antidepressants and I now take Pamelor (PM) and Lamictal (AM).
    Plus Flexeril and valium for spasms.

    Ron often talks about the "blend". Mine is rather strange or so it seems to me. But I don't cry on the way to work and the way home from work anymore.
    I still have bad days, but there are OK days too.
    Once and a while even a good day will sneak in!

    When you are in the middle of the mess trying to find what works for you it can be really, really tough. Don't be afraid to vent.

    Keep looking for the right stuff that works for you too!
  • hi! i find that the longer acting pain medications (ER) have really made a difference in my life. they offer a constant supply of medication in my system so there is none of the ups and downs you find with taking IR medications. this is something that has offered me much more pain relief and on a steady basis. please talk to your doctor about this. it just might be the answer to some of your problems.. good luck and i hope you find some pain relief soon! Jenny :)
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