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newhouse17nnewhouse17 Posts: 133
edited 06/11/2012 - 8:45 AM in Depression and Coping
Hello everyone,

Well if you read my past posts you know that I've been pondering whether or not to ask doc for a depressant. This has been weighing on my mind for the past 3 months. This morning while watching TV with my 10 yr. old son who has mild autism, an advertisement for cymbalta came on the TV. I really didn't pay much attention but my son looked at me and said "mom maybe you should get that and then that way you'll be happy again". This just broke my heart!!! How is it that my son with special needs sees how bad it is but I didn't? I try to shield it from the kids but I guess I wasn't doing a very good job.I sat and cried for 30 minutes after sending him off on the bus to his summer program. How could I have been so blind? As if the chronic pain hasn’t done enough all ready it finds away to kick me one more time!!! This one really hurt.I need a hug!!

I am very grateful to all you spineys out there. I think I would really lose it if I didn’t have you to talk too.


  • (((((newhouse))))) We are all here/there for you!! It's so hard to be normal between the pain and the meds. It often takes a new set of eyes to see what is going on. And thank God for your son because most people are afraid to tell us when they see us acting strangely. The eyes of babes are the best. I find my teenagers will still tell me honestly when they think I am acting odd. They will also pitch in when they see me in pain - something my husband is much slower to see.

    So don't cry. But do call your doctor this morning. There is no harm in asking. Tell him exactly what your son said and he will understand. You aren't the first and won't be the last. You will just feel better!
  • jlrfryejjlrfrye ohioPosts: 1,110
    Boy our kids can sometimes say things that really hurt but that being said I would think it would be normal for those of us that live with daily pain to also have depression. I can remember my doc telling me he was prescribing Zoloft and I told him I dont need it!! He asked me to take for a few months and then decide wether I felt as if I needed it. It was the best move my PCP did. It did help for me and I hope it works for you.As Kris said above call your doctor and hopefully all turns out well
  • Hi Newhouse,

    Chronic pain and what it can take from us: who wouldn't be depressed! Time and time again I have read and heard from other spineys/neckies: depression is a big side effect from chronic pain.

    Myself: major post-partum depression. While dealing with that the back issues started and I've stayed on the Zoloft ever since. I would be a complete basket case if it weren't for that medicine (depression runs rampant in my family).

    So often others see something is not right with us before we do. Thank goodness for that! So please, call your Dr. Just remember that it may take a bit of time for the meds to work (for me it was about 2 weeks).

    Best wishes to you,

  • Oh newhouse, we are here for you! And here is the big but gentle hug you asked for!

    It has happened to me twice! I have known my PM for several years. About a year ago he asked me about being depressed. I quickly brushed him off and said "no I'm fine, It is just the pain that makes me cry."

    He reviewed all the symptoms of depression with me. That weekend I noticed I wasn't quite the ball of sunshine I thought I was. So I called his office....

    My last post op again I cried a lot. He asked about the depression and increased the dosage of the Cymbalta. He said to me "Where is that happy go lucky Shari that we all know? We need her back!"

    Of course, that just made me cry harder and I told him she was gone and may never be back! LOL

    Now, I can laugh about it...I do feel better. I actually wake up most days smiling and happy. I still have pain, but I am not bogged down with it!

    We are here for you! Hang in there! Make the call and here is to feeling better! Pain takes too much from us, don't let it steal your joy! Wish I was close enough to come over and hang out but I am with you in spirit! :)
  • There is nothing wrong about being depressed. Its a natural reaction to chronic pain. The injustice in it is not asking for help with it. I am taking meds for depression but still question myself on why i hurt all the time. This i recognize as needing further help. So come Monday during my routine PM appt I'll ask my Dr about increasing my dose or changing the med. I am a big macho male who can do it all. That was until 2 yrs ago. Now i am humble enough to ask when i need help. Even though i do not post alot here, i am very happy i found this site. Just reading other posts sometimes make me feel better. I know i am not alone in this adventure.
  • It was for different reasons, but I've been depressed and antidepressants can help if you need them. An interesting thing---when I read those words that your young son had said, I thought it was so sweet of him to be thinking of you. It didn't occur to me that it would break your heart the way it did and I wonder if that isn't depressing "talking". Many if not most kids with autism are highly intelligent and I'm betting he wasn't complaining or in any way trying to make you feel bad, my guess is he was trying to help you. He loves you and wants you to feel better.

    So glad you came here to let us help. Know that you are cared about and can cry on our shoulders anytime you need to! Gentle hug coming your way...{ { { { Newhouse } } }

    2009 Foraminotomy C6-72010 PLIF L4-S1Multi RFA's, cervical inj, lumbar injLaminectomy L3-4 and fusion w/internal fixation T10-L4 July 17Fusion C2-C5 yet to be scheduled
  • Thank you for all your replies, they really mean a lot. My son didn't mean to make me sad he just wants his old mom back. That night, I sat down to explain to him why mom is the way she is.My back injury/ surgery has left me disabled, and can not do a lot of things that I use to do. He wants me to play baseball, ride bikes and play at the park for hours on end. I explained to him that mom can no longer do these things and that we have to find other ways of having fun together.After our conversation we both felt much better.

    I called my surgeon and he can not get me in this week but has moved my appointment up 2 weeks so I will ask for the antidepressent then and get a referral to a PM doctor. Because my injury was a work related I can't go to my GP and ask for the medication so I'll just have to wait it out.

    Thanks again and I will keep you posted.
  • sunny1966ssunny1966 VIRGINIAPosts: 1,385
    Hi newhouse. I don't have much to add to what the others have already said. I just wanted to send you a hug. I hope you can take an antidepressant that will help you cope better. You're blessed with a wonderful son who cares about you. Just that will make you smile through the tears.
    I take Wellbutrin XL which has helped me a lot. I've never tried the others. Remember we're here for you.
  • there is nothing wrong with having to fall back on the use of anit-depressesants. many of us find ourselves in the same boat! it can often be such a relief to find yourself happy again that the stigma you are thinking about just never comes to bear! :D please think this over and take an important step for your mental health.. good luck and stop by anytime you have questions or want to just vent! Jenny :)
  • Newhouse, I am sorry to hear you are having such a rough time. From my experience, I would say that trying an anti-depressant is worth a shot (if your doctor agrees). This past Winter and Spring, I was in a very bad place emotionally. I felt trapped and hopeless. Thoughts of self-harm were haunting me daily. I was a zombie, not from the meds, not from the pain, but from my emotional state. At work, I would have to hide in an empty office several times a week because I couldn't help crying and I couldn't let anyone see. Like I sad, I was in a very bad place emotionally.

    A couple months ago, I finally talked to my GP about it (with my wife's help). He put me on Wellbutrin for depression and Buspar for anxiety. The difference has been amazing. Don't get me wrong, my pain is the same or worse, but my attitude is so much better. The pain is always there, but emotionally, the pain is leading to much less suffering now.

    I know that not everyone has the same success as I have had, but I am so thankful for the difference the anti-depressant/anxiety meds have made. I know the pain can really tear you down and steal your life, but maybe an anti-depressant will allow you to get some of yourself back as they have for me. Good luck!
  • When I first went into depression in about 1992, I would go into the shower, turn on the water and sit on the shower floor and cry till I got a hold of myself.

    Even doing that it took me several months to make the call and seek help.

    Don't get to caught up in the idea that there will be instant sunshine on an antidepressant! It can take some diligent searching and trial and error. just remember you are working towards getting better and that is really what is important!

    some people do find the instant sunshine!
    let's hope that you are one of those people!

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