I know that any person who has dealt with Spinal surgeries, lived with Spinal problems and pain for a long time has a different outlook on so many things.
Just reading so many posts here, many people believe that their life is through, they are a failure and no longer can provide for their families the way they did before.
Oh, I've been there and I can fully understand all those emotions. It wasnt until I actually sat down by myself and started to jot down things in my life that were important.
After a while, I was a bit amazed at so many of the things I jotted as important were really only surface related.
For me, what was the most important:
- My family and trying to keep them happy and together
- Reducing the amount of time, my problems impacted my family.
- Helping others who are starting to go down this same road.
What I find out that I thought was so important:
- Could I continue to engage in the sports and recreation I did before?
- Could I work full time?
- What am I going to be like 10, 15, 20 years from now?
What hit me the hardest was that the so many of the things I viewed as important really werent. Some where hypothetical, some might be selfish. But when I looked at the things that really made a difference in my life, I changed the way I looked at my medical situation.
I devoted my time and efforts into doing whatever I could to keep my family happy and to be able to enjoy all the time I have/had with them. Even if it meant, eliminating some of the things we did in the past (ie Skiing, Golfing, etc) I found so many other things to keep the family tight.
I also started to feel so much better when I could offer some assistance to others. I think I get no better satisfactions then when I go to the Physical Rehab center for treatments and run across people that are so down and negative about their problems. I talk to them, discuss their situations and asked them what they really miss and what they really want.. I add to that, please take a look at such-and-such a patient. No matter what is in their hearts, they may never be able to do what they want.
But you can, I can and we all will.
Priorities... Thats a word that used to be reserved for the business world. But it is also so very important in our daily lives as spinal patients.
Try this.... List the top 10 things that are your very most favorite things to do, either alone or with your family.
Then, break each of them down to see how much of those you can do without efforts, how much requires a lot of work and how many you think you can never do.
Start out with the things you can never do. Cause thats where the mind set starts. Why cant you do it? What is preventing you from doing it? Can you do it in some other fashion that will not hurt you?
The point of this, is that everyone of us has it in ourselves to understand what we can and cannot do. And at the same time, we need to focus in on how much those things really mean to us.
For example, for me, at 38 years old (a llooong time ago),
I found out that I could no longer play softball in a competitive league the way I did 5 years prior. Well, even without my spinal problems, I started to slow down. And in the scope of my entire life, was playing in those games that very important?
Only you know what means the most to you....
And when there is something that means a lot, then there is nothing to stop you from accomplishing it.
Ron DiLauro Spine-Health System Administrator I am not a medical professional. I comment on personal experiences