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My LEO Badge embossed "Retired" - It's final!

Aviatrix36440Aviatrix36440 Posts: 5,904
edited 06/11/2012 - 8:45 AM in Depression and Coping
Okay, not sure if this is the right forum, as it's a mix? As many of you know, I recently retired from 30 years of flying and 20 (okay - 2 months shy)years of aviation/law enforcement thanks to my lovely spine and its continued attacks!

Well I opened the mailbox today, and in it was a small USPS Priority box - small. I have been waiting for some music CD's from eBay, so I scooped it up, and came back in the house. I then saw the 'senders address' and realized what my "CD" package was. I opened it up, and in it is my last badge I carried with the 'retired' rocker now on the bottom of it below my now 'former title'.... :(

Depressed? Well... Not so much as a clinical or long term thing, it just arrrhhh.... finalized in my head that I am officially off any threats to the workforce as I won't be able to ever do that work again, and as such, others do not have competition! (G) My new job is whatever I decide to do, and to concentrate on the family and hubby and my kids (cats!) and of course, my health.

Law enforcement is a unique family. We are all brothers and sisters regardless (most times) what agency you work for. Retired folks maintain in the family, but it's different, I've already felt that. Whelps...(G) I am glad to have my 'tin' back, and do not have regrets. Aaahhhh, thanks for listening fellow spineys!!! *HUGZ*

PCTF C4 - T2, Laminectomies C5, C6 & C7. Severe Palsy left arm/hand.


  • That must have been a shock to go from CD's to that.... I am also sure it is a bitter sweet thing. Congrats on the amount of years you did serve that's pretty amazing. What an interesting job that must have been! A big hug goes out to you!! Take care, Renea'
  • :---) Thanks Renea', appreciate! Yeah, that is a good word for it..."Bitter sweet", yeah, I like that a lot better. Lots of memories, that's for sure! Unlike Hollywood, not all glamor! (lol!!) Thanks very much for the hugs as well! :)

    PCTF C4 - T2, Laminectomies C5, C6 & C7. Severe Palsy left arm/hand.
  • good luck as you start your new life and new memories in your memory book! :D i appreciate all the years of service you put in for my safety, thank you! i wish you many years of happy times and days not filled with pain! who knows where life will lead you now?? that is the exciting part!! all the best! Jenny :) :)
  • Hey Brenda,

    Maybe you can look at it this way: you got to do something you loved for quite some time, and have the satisfaction that you made a difference serving your country. Thats pretty darn special! Don't get me wrong, I am not trying to make light of your feelings at all. Just trying to "write you a *hug*".

    Now its Brenda Time, you have certainly earned it. If and when you write that book (did you already start?) I would love to read it.

    Take care,

  • MetalneckMetalneck Island of Misfit toysPosts: 1,364

    Many congradulations on this milestone. I remember how important my very first patch was (Advanced Emergency Care from the Red Cross - and how patches always symbolized our level of training and ability.
    (Fire - Paramed ACLS - EMT A - EMT B - Emegency rescue and extrication, 100% strip. etc etc etc.

    What a wonderful site to have your "final" patch.

    Now it's time to go back to girl scouts cause I'm thinkin ya missed a couple there !! (I could use the cookies also).

    Big Hug ... Big congrads ... Big Prayers for you and yours,

    Spine-health Moderator
    Welcome to Spine-Health  Please read the linked guidelines!!

  • Thanks very much Jenny. :) Of late I've been doing the 'house bum' gig. I have been craving 'bum' time as I've never really had it. Hehehe..even vacations, "things" are planned. So oddly, no plans, no schedules, just kick around time, is great! :) There are a bunch of us that left in the last say...3 years that are connecting again as our own 'retiree club' - kinda cute don't ya think? Thanks again!! *hug*

    PCTF C4 - T2, Laminectomies C5, C6 & C7. Severe Palsy left arm/hand.
  • Lisa,

    For a while I felt like I was just on annual leave (personal time) without having to call in for approval! Now it is finally sinking in that there is no more 'approval' needed for *my* time. (G)

    Chapter 1 is almost complete. I decided that I am going to write in "chapter by chapter stories" verses a book long saga revolving around one theme. Dunno, still tossing it around. :)

    PCTF C4 - T2, Laminectomies C5, C6 & C7. Severe Palsy left arm/hand.
  • Dave,

    Nodding... I have my fair share of patches, but what's funny is over time I got big time into "pin" collecting. Not even sure when I eased into it either, it just happened over time. During the 2002 Olympics in Salt Lake, I was assigned as a helicopter pilot for airspace security, and as such we were given official Olympics credentials. Ya know what the best part of that was? Private access to venues and such? Nope, it was a "pin collector" magnet!

    People would see that huge credential and rush you to share and swap pins! The very few pins I wanted but couldn't find, I later got off eBay! I made a huge shadow box out of those pins, creds and patches! I have more shadow boxes I am going to put together now that I have the time. Shadow boxes = boxed memories that others can see!!

    Never a Girl Scout (mom didn't allow), but I do LOVE the mint cookies!!! :) Thanks Dave! *HUG*

    PCTF C4 - T2, Laminectomies C5, C6 & C7. Severe Palsy left arm/hand.
  • What you've accomplished is amazing for any pilot and better yet a female pilot that's so awesome what your work entailed. A lot of great memories I'm sure that should keep you going for your second half of your lifetime. The shadow box idea sounds great and hope you put them behind glass. Take care. Charry
    DDD of lumbar spine with sciatica to left hip,leg and foot. L4-L5 posterior disc bulge with prominent facets, L5-S1 prominent facets with a posterior osteocartilaginous bar. Mild bilateral foraminal narrowing c-spine c4-c7 RN
  • Thanks! Thanks to a former student/friend who wrote a book of women in aviation, I found that when I got my Airline Transport Pilots rating, I was the only female in the US rated as an A&P (Airframe & Powerplant) mechanic and dual rated ATP! I am sure there are barely a handful in this day as the industry isn't as 'big' on their pilots also being mechanics, as there are less and less need for Flight Engineers. :)

    Shadow boxes, yes ma'am. They are encased and covered with glass. I've been unpacking my 'former' office goodies to start the next one! Funny as it sounds, I kind of like them more than the award plaques, as "they" tell more of a story of the person, than a person who worked for so and so. Makes sense, no? :)

    PCTF C4 - T2, Laminectomies C5, C6 & C7. Severe Palsy left arm/hand.
  • there are no smileys for a Salute, so i'll just say Congratulations ;)

    enjoy, you earned it.
  • Guess that means you're just an ordinary housecat these days!!

    Knowing you I'm guessing another few weeks of lounging around and sleeping in the sun...then it will be on to a new career. You'd be kicka$$ as a disability or med-malpractice tiger!!
  • Thanks very much Jim!! :) Still adjusting, but so far it feels "like a good fit" as they say. Oddly, I don't really miss 'the job'...odd huh?

    PCTF C4 - T2, Laminectomies C5, C6 & C7. Severe Palsy left arm/hand.
  • Kris,

    Chuckle!!! I know my kitties love me being home! I know, I know, *they* are the heads of the household and we the humans are just here to please THEM! (G)

    The hubby and I have been chatting, and depending on how much my college credits can be counted, might go into Psychiatry - dealing in stress and law enforcement. Sadly, in many departments, "They eat their young", and it can be pretty tough on some. I am just not in the mood to go back to school at this stage, 9 years post high school was enough for this house cat for now! (G) Meeeooowww! lololololol!!!

    PCTF C4 - T2, Laminectomies C5, C6 & C7. Severe Palsy left arm/hand.
  • I think that's a great idea. Maybe you could even start as a mentor, either formal or by word-of-mouth.

    As I try to figure out what I will do in the future when they either fix me or tell me this is it, I often think I would like to do something socially responsible. I can actually get a degree for almost free under my husbands union benefits but I know I'm not up to that yet. My heart is leaning toward green energy building.

    In the meantime love being with your kitties. Mine are getting spoiled. The big baby sleeps right in front of my monitor and he knows he has to keep his head down or I yell at him. lol
  • Yeah Kris, years ago on a case I was working, I had to study "Criminal Psychology", which aided big time in my 'getting in this guys head' to get him. The course was only 6 months, but wow! And you think normal people have problems! (G) It was a fellows course, and I thoroughly enjoyed it!!!

    Yeppers, kitties are happy for sure! My hybrid Jungle cat has become quite the cuddle bum of late! :)

    PCTF C4 - T2, Laminectomies C5, C6 & C7. Severe Palsy left arm/hand.
  • when i was in Marine Corps i was military police, and i wish i would have stayed in, but "my bad".

    then i was a officer at stste prision for a little while, before settling on driving a truck for 28 years now.
    after i get healed if doctor tells me not to drive a truck again, and if i cant pass the d.o.t. physical i wont miss it either.

    Anyway now it is your turn to relax and enjoy and some day i will get my turn, sooner or later.

    take care
  • Jim,

    You were still part of the blue line Jim! :-) My hubby was an MP in the reserves. I still can't picture him doing that job, as he is a strong "type B" personality, but yeah never know huh? :) We met on a gun range, so it had to be fate!

    Sorry to hear you might not drive again - 28 years is a long time to work a job like that. I am glad to see that you can detach from it if it does come to that. Fingers crossed for ya man!! *HUG* Thanks!! :)

    PCTF C4 - T2, Laminectomies C5, C6 & C7. Severe Palsy left arm/hand.
  • Okay, now my hubby wants to get an RV! So you have the picture *he* can't retire for at least 10 years with his union. He wants to get the RV in part because of my 'limited' time I can deal with being in a regular car seat, and too he wants to have it for these reasons:

    Hurricane evac - house on the go
    If a hurricane (Wilma knocked our power for 3 weeks) hits us hard, the power needed to 'live' RV comfy wise is very low compared to keeping the house with the generators.

    We would share the payments, and too RV's don't cost a lot of late if used (used..hehe...less than 20,000 miles 1/4 of the price!!!). I am starting to actually warm up to this idea of his as I do research.

    My question is this, what do you all think? Since he is still working, we wouldn't be say hopping here and there every month or anything. I guess I am wondering (as I've always lived frugal having grown up poor) if this is something we 'need', or dunno... still trying to sort all this out. I do like the concept, but just trying to justify it to my pea brain is all! Thanks guys. *HUGZ* for your input!!!

    PCTF C4 - T2, Laminectomies C5, C6 & C7. Severe Palsy left arm/hand.
  • Go for it. I know this isn't a happy reason but if you need to get to a doctor who is several hours away this would be a great solution. Also it would let you take some nice vacations in the next 10 years.

    I would say to get something small. As he gets closer to retirement if you still like the RV life style you could trade up.

  • I'd say be sure not dive in too deep. Get one that is comfortable yet not a road hog.

    Don't buy a new one! There are waaaaay tooo many low use used ones out there. People buy then figure out between jimmy's baseball and jane's soccer or volleyball they can't get the kids to camp without a whine fest all weekend! So a for sale sign goes in the window. Also find oldtimers that remember camping when we were kids and wish to recapture that. You can't usually do that. Sometimes people love it too. But those aren't the people you are looking for! :D

    If you live in hurricane alley, and are retired you will probably get what you need from it. especially when hubby retires! Make sure that if it is a motorhome he does not leave it sit! every couple of weeks it needs to be driven till everything is warmed up and all the lubes circulate.
    Nothing worse for a motorhome then to leave it sit for months on end then fire it up and go....

    I'm an exmechanic and can promise you there is nothing worse then condensation in rear axles, bearings, transmissions, even fuel tanks! If you don't want to use it often get a trailer!
  • Or stay at a trailer park first to see of you'll like to do that especially if money's tight. I used to be Hostess/Security at the motor home and trailer show and loved to look inside some of the pop up trailers and vans.
    Brenda I think you would be a great motivational speaker for kids in high school deciding on a career. I went and tried to get into the Army at 17 and my Grandparents who were my guardians signed for me to join but when I found out they had no positions at the time for women communication Officers I quit. Eventually found my right career for me but think it's awesome what kind of work you did and what you accomplished. Charry
    DDD of lumbar spine with sciatica to left hip,leg and foot. L4-L5 posterior disc bulge with prominent facets, L5-S1 prominent facets with a posterior osteocartilaginous bar. Mild bilateral foraminal narrowing c-spine c4-c7 RN
  • My hubby and I agree with you all in so far as getting one that is used, and too we are going to rent one in the next month or so for a 'few days' road trip to see how it goes. First thing the hubby talked about when he walked in the door was an RV! I've been looking on eBay (no not to buy, but to look and learn) to learn what this and that 'Class' is, and what the normal things are with each. We've pretty well settled on staying in the "C" class at this point. My neighbor next door has a C, and it is pretty darn nice overall. His is now like 10 years old - but they keep it perfect!

    Sir Wrambler, couldn't agree more on your recommendations. You see machinery suffer premature death in Florida's heat and sun all the time for the very reason (sitting and sitting) you pointed out. I was an aircraft mechanic in my early years, and much prefer to find problems when they are small, and too most times less expensive too!

    Charry, thanks! I'm very happy at the route I took during my career. I've learned a lot, laughed a lot, even cried - but all good in the end. Retirement wise, that also worked out well pension wise. You mention schools, career day for kids. I use to do that a lot when on the job. We would fly a helicopter in, speak for a bit in front of an assembly or specific class, speak some more when they came out to the helicopter, and then answer questions. Of course, most times they sent me (the female) and my partner (the black guy)- which I guess can be seen as good. To this day, 'girls' and minorities are still told they aren't good enough, or will never 'do that.'

    I grew up poor, and was told that, plus 'cuz I was a girl' can't do that. I used those negative comments from uncaring adults to motivate me to "YES I CAN." :) Oprah Winfrey had a show years ago titled "Did you succeed despite being told you weren't good enough, smart enough etc.? I smiled during that show as I could flash back to "Mr. Smith" my Biology teacher telling me a 'girl will never' have a career as a pilot! Hurmf - Mr. Smith, how wrong you were!! See, negatives can be positives!!! My sister believed those same adults and is miserable in her life and her choices. *shrug* I look back and am kind of glad things worked that way, as I worked hard, and hard at what I wanted vs 'rich parents' directing me what I would do for a living and hating life!

    Kris, size wise. Yeah, we are pretty well thinking the same. At one point the hubby wanted me to sell the house and we would be 'road warriors', but that never interested me. He's an electrician, so within the union he can 'travel' and work almost anywhere, so that part is a good fit. He is okay on the RV for trips now, as it becomes a happy medium for us. :)

    Thanks again guys! You're tops as always!! *HUGZ*

    PCTF C4 - T2, Laminectomies C5, C6 & C7. Severe Palsy left arm/hand.
  • I think that would be a great idea.
    picture this everyone here sends you our address, and then you pack up for your road trip, but first do a mapquest, to plan your route, and you could do a spiney get together.

    maybe your husband could fly to where you are at once a month or something like that, so you could keep on the quest of a spiney roar trip.

    just trying to help. lol :?
  • hi! i think if it is something you and your husband can afford and want to spend your money on then go for it.. it would be such a comfortable way to see the USA and there is so much to see!! how exciting and what a great way to be able to spend your spare time. :D of course there is insurance and gas and general upkeep but you outweigh that with the good stuff and decide!! i am behind you whatever you decide and i hope this works out for you!! what fun!! here is to future travels... Jenny :)
  • Howdy!! :) The hubby has been hunting the Internet for what all is out there. We have decided on a "Class C" and 31 feet. We crunched the 'true' money numbers as well (gas, insurance, upkeep etc.) and then tied it to our usual trips of late. We added the hotel, restaurant, gas etc., and then did the same with our projections for an RV,and the RV was cheaper!

    Another use for it... We are in one of the worse areas for hurricanes. That being said, since the RV is battery, propane, and generator - it would be bunches easier to hole up in the RV after power loss than the house! Cheaper, comfy, a mini house. There are a lot of 'win, wins' in this purchase plan. We are going to rent one much like the size and style we are hoping to buy as like a 'test drive' if you will. :) Game plan, late August to mid September. We have a family reunion in Texas in November, so my hubby wants to see if this works for me to travel, and as such go to the reunion!!! :)

    Thanks so much Jenny, you're good people!! :) *HUGZ*

    PCTF C4 - T2, Laminectomies C5, C6 & C7. Severe Palsy left arm/hand.
  • Last thought on RVing and life in general...

    Life is too short to waste time in excessive planning and worrying. THat doesnt mean you shouldn't do your homework and keep within your means. But go after what you really want. Find a way.

    Life is always full of "I should have" and "I wish I had". So make today the day you say "I had a great time" and "I'm glad I did".

    Brenda I see a trip to NY in your future.
  • Howdy Kris,

    Well, in years past we talked about an RV, but never really latched on to it. Then thanks to my spine input, well we started talking again, and more in ernest on it. We've now decided to indeed get one. I do agree with his feelings (and some suggested it here too) that we rent one to 'test drive' my back and travel compatibility.

    You are so right about the "I wish I had" and such, so true! Fortunately up till all this started, I didn't have too many of those, as I did what I wanted. Hopefully an RV will give us some of that back, and too, more 'us' time. :)

    PCTF C4 - T2, Laminectomies C5, C6 & C7. Severe Palsy left arm/hand.
  • The rental is a great idea, remember though that a rental is not yours. So if your discomfort is due to a crappy mattress or the need for a certain type of seat you can make those changes when you own one!

    I might suggest you have a piece of memory foam or mattress topper of your choice in hand when you rent. Some of the stock mattresses leave a lot to be desired!

    I certainly hope you don't plan to be IN the RV IN a Hurricane! We don't want you to get blown away! We like you here!
  • Good morning Wrambler!! :)

    Funny you mention bedding. After viewing a zillion 'inside' views of these RV's, that was one 'weak' area I made note of immediately! I have been having more and more problems of late with sleeping, so have been getting all manner of aides. I now am waiting to be delivered a 5 section adjustable (angles) memory foam bed topper. The sections zipper together and I can be reclined, flat, legs up, head up etc.

    My other plan for that puppy is for the RV! Those so called mattresses I see in the RV's would make a good back hurt I think! (G) I was getting to where I was avoiding sleeping because I knew upon waking I would have horrific headaches, and my back was screaming. So of course the side effect was? A lot more pain and a shorter fuse! Since my hubby doesn't deserve that, and I *hate* pain like most, I've been trying different things - things of which I am smartly now applying to the RV to be activities! Thanks for looking out for me Wrambler! Love ya darlin!! :)

    PCTF C4 - T2, Laminectomies C5, C6 & C7. Severe Palsy left arm/hand.
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