Welcome, Friend!

It looks like you're new here. If you want to get involved, click one of these buttons!

Veritas-Health LLC has recently released patient forums to our Arthritis-Health web site.

Please visit http://www.arthritis-health.com/forum

There are several patient story videos on Spine-Health that talk about Arthritis. Search on Patient stories
Protect anonymity
We strongly suggest that members do not include their email addresses. Once that is published , your email address is available to anyone on the internet , including hackers.

All discussions and comments that contain an external URL will be automatically moved to the spam queue. No external URL pointing to a medical web site is permitted. Forum rules also indicate that you need prior moderator approval. If you are going to post an external URL, contact one of the moderators to get their approval.
Attention New Members
Your initial discussion or comment automatically is sent to a moderator's approval queue before it can be published.
There are no medical professionals on this forum side of the site. Therefore, no one is capable or permitted to provide any type of medical advice.
This includes any analysis, interpretation, or advice based on any diagnostic test


sfgibsonssfgibson Posts: 4
edited 06/11/2012 - 8:46 AM in Depression and Coping
im a 26 yr old singleish mom of 2 very young children. i have a 3 yr old little girl and a 22 month old son.i have wat they think is ddd in my lower back. hereditary not a injury.most days now the pain is so bad i have to force myself to get out of bed every morning when all i want to do is close my curtains and cry myself back to sleep. dr has given me numerous pain pills over the course of the last month or so - none seem to work.im in pt which im grateful for - starting pt gave me some hope that maybe i could maintain it....however there have been no signs of improvement.this is killin me - im sick and tired of feeling like this and seeing the pitying glances thrown my way when ppl see me hurtn so bad i cant hardly bear it. my boyfriend is just as lost as i am - everytime he sees the dr gives me new pills for pain he hopes they will work - when they dont he hates it...he wishes he could make it all better for me but he cant - i know he is tryn to figure out how to be strong for me but he doesnt know how.i wish he didnt have to.i see my neurosurgeon for the first time tomoro and im absolutely terrified.im scared he will get tired of having a girlfriend who is hurting all the time...i wouldnt blame him for that really but it would break my heart in a whole new way that idk if i could bear.i just want to be "normal" again...be able to play with my kids and go camping and hiking and riding and all the other wonderful outdoorsy things i used to be able to do. but idk when or even if this will ever happen again.i havent told my bf yet my dr has already told me if healing doesnt start soon to get all thoughts of future children out of my head.that right there is sending me into a downward spiral of depression.im from a large family and have always wanted alot of kids, but my dr has told me not only will it most likely cripple me but it could possibly kill me to have more.i havent told my bf this yet.im too scared.what would he want with me then?he wants a big family like i do. i would lose him i think.this is a curveball in my life i was not expecting. i dunno how to even begin to deal with it all - its overwhelming me and i just want to disappear.
im sorry for venting...i just needed to let it all out a little..


  • Hi sfgibson,

    Your post just breaks my heart! I know how hard it is to be a parent of young kids and have these painful limitations. After my first 2 level lumbar fusion and birth of baby #2 my surgeon basically told me "no more kids, you are done", that can be very hard to hear.

    Depression is something that many chronic pain patients seem to have to deal with. It just goes with the territory. Maybe discuss with your Dr., there are many medications out there that may help.

    A good heart-to-heart discussion with your BF would hopefully put some of your fears to rest. Let him know how you are feeling.

    Stay with us at Spine-Health. Lots of caring and supportive people here. Keep us posted on how you are doing,

    Take care,
  • Oh, your posting broke my heart too! I wanted to let you know we are here for you! I am so sorry you are in so much pain, but hang in there! There are answers out there, you just have to be persistant and keep trying!

    Telling your bf you may not be able to have other children can be very scarey (speaking from personal experience) but it is an oppertunity for your bf to help comfort you! Men want to be able to help, and this is one way he can help~comforting you!

    Please let us know how you are doing! We are here to support you! Wishing you the very best!
  • Your post certainly touched many of our hearts. I am married and my husband is the most wonderful man I have ever met. He has health problems also but to me his are life threatening (heart, diabetes and a major pancreatic surgery which changed his life forever) Like you, although he is so caring and loving I sometimes fear one day he will wake up and think to himself there has to be more to life than being with a woman who is completely disabled. We used to have so much fun, bowling, going out on dinner dates, fishing etc. and now that has all come to an end. I was injured at work and have a failed cervical fusion, my rt vocal cord was paralysed during surgery and have lumbar problems. Basically I sit in my recliner most of the time. If I try to help out I suffer for days.
    It sounds as though your BF loves you very much and is very concerned and caring. I think a nice long talk is in order. Let him know what the dr's have said and tell him your fears. Love overcomes alot and the fact that he has been right at your side, even going to your appts. I believe he will be very understanding. Obviously he doesn't want anything bad to happen to you. Of course I am in no way in the medical profession and just giving you my opinion. I wish you so much luck and for me faith and prayer has helped me be strong enough emotionally to get through all the emotional baggage that comes with having a chronic pain condition.
    I am also on an anti-depressant and before that I cried alot. The Cymbalta has helped immensely for that. Not sure if it has helped with the pain but certainly for the depression.
    You will be in my thoughts and prayers.
  • Sorry sweetie for all the physical and emotional pain you are going through. I was a single mum for 4 years b4 I met my husband and now have a baby to care for. It sounds like u are depressed and exhausted (to much too young). Im sure your bf loves u very much snd he will stand by yu. Many people on here have said take one day at a time or if its such a bad day take one hour at a time. As mums we beat ourselves up anyway and being in cnstant pain makes us more emotional and then we feel guilty which spirals into exhaustion. Can your family offer more support? Can you somehow fit in some 'me time' for u just to to something that u enjoy?. Chronic pain is a prison at times but Im sure when u look at your beautiful children and the happy memories you dont remember the pain so much. You just have to find a way to cope, research, research and demand the best from your doctor. You can get through this but you need all the support you can get xxxxx
Sign In or Register to comment.