I rarely post on here, I read posts all the time-just to remind myself that I'm not alone...but today I have just had it with people (my family) begging me to be "normal". Really? You don't think I WANT to be "normal" like I used to be? I want to work, I want to walk half marathons like I used to. I want to be able to sit through an entire movie without having a numb leg or pain in my back. I WANT to travel like I used to. I want to be able to go to concerts and enjoy the show with the great spots (I NEVER sat down) I WANT to shop and not think...oh no, I've been gone for about an hour...I better get home before the pain hits. I WANT to be like I used to be...I do, I really do...but I'm not. I most likely never will be. I want you to understand this isn't by choice...I didn't wake up six years ago and think..."well, lets see....let me hurt myself and have 5 surgeries on my back in 6 years". Not what I wanted it just happened.
I haven't worked in 5 months, I rarely do things with friends anymore, because they simply don't understand my limits. My husband keeps saying..."I understand"....well, he doesn't really. He placates me.
I'm so sorry this sounds so negative...it's just been a bad day.
Thank you all for listening....and I know that you all do "understand".
Roll Tide! (I can't wait for football season, even if I won't be going to many of the games....like I used to)