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Handicap parking permit...Am I justified in bringing it up to my doc??

RwillRRwill Posts: 300
I'm really struggling whether or not to bring up getting a handi-cap permit to my doc. I trying to type and explain why I have a problem with it, it's difficult to explain. Guilt? Embarassment? Do I need it there's people a lot worse off? These are the questions that come to mind. One of my biggest peav's is people who misuse a handicap parking permit, I'm very close to someone who does it. I guess I should know myself well enough to realize I wouldn't misue it. It all is situational; Am I having an above normal for me pain day? Is it a long ways to walk? Am I having more weakness today? Those situations are where I've needed it. I sometimes hurt so bad getting from the parking lot into the store I just want to turn around and go back. It would just help sometimes!! I'm hoping the SCS will help the Sciatica enough so I can walk further, but even then there's times..... Do any of you have one that are like me???


  • If you need one, you need one.

    I had one when I had my herniation because I had trouble walking, and I was in school and the parking situation was awful.

    I just don't need one now. I can walk, it's the one thing I can do. It's the getting the groceries in the car, getting around the grocery store, picking up a flat of water, etc that kills me.
  • When I lived in Michigan, I would get a temporary handicapped parking permit for the winter months because the parking lots at stores & such would be filled with that slushy snow that's like walking on grease. My pride doesn't like me to use handicapped parking, or my cane, but there are days when my pain tells me otherwise & I'll use it. I just got another one here in FL for 1 yr because I'm getting so much worse & also because I was supposed to have surgery last Wednesday (hopefully will be rescheduled soon...I updated the reason for this in the August Surgeries thread).

    I would tell you this-if your body says that you need to park closer...use the darn permit. If you think you can handle walking a little further, leave it in the glove box of your car. Just pay attention to what your BODY says, not your pride (I know, not always so easy, eh?). Another thing to keep in mind...sometimes we feel ok enough to park further away from the store, but by the time we've gotten our groceries, pushed the heavy cart, stood in line at the checkout, loaded the grocery bags into the cart...we don't feel up to walking all the way back out to the car-so again, listen to your body. If it's telling you to use the permit/park closer-to 'you-know-where' with what everyone else thinks! ;o)

    Good luck...I'll be praying for your pain relief soon!
  • I have had one for the past 5 years..I use it if my Hubby takes me to Drs etc, but he never uses it when Im not in the car..

    If Im having a ok day, we dont use it either as sometimes the little walk in the fresh air does you good ..

    They have just made the criteria to obtain one a bit harder as the Australian Government seemed to be handing them out to anyone at one stage.

    Take care
  • Rwill,
    I have had a blue badge for twenty years and although I would acknowledge your feelings of self, as has been said, if you need one you do, I am now at the stage that even with the availability of parking my waking capability is almost depleted. Any standing increases the pain so although I walk more slowly it does take some considerable time; I also have to get back to the car, that accumulative time, walking and standing are all integral factors and each day is anew experience. Perhaps when I had less pain days years ago I would be able to walk a greater distance and encourage myself to do so, this is all about balance. Do not be influenced or tainted in what and how others do it, what are your needs and would this assist you in enabling you to be included and provide access.

    We all read a lot in the press about those who abuse the system and that will always be the case of questioned eligibility, it is not always apparent who has a disability and just the aesthetic or visual capability is no recommendation for a first impression. Pain is variable and on our bad days we all need some help and encouragement. I am proud of my own capability enduring unimaginable pain while attempting to act normally and present that game face to the outside world.

    My teenage son is also disabled and has walking difficulties, the doctor will understand your genuine apprehension to bring this subject up and well versed in that inner belief for us just to carry on as if everything was normal, it is part of coping.

    If those people who misuse the system have no morals and can live with themselves in denying access to those in society with specific need, then we may not be able to change that attitude in them, I support a group of limbless children and it is them who are being targeted when others abuse the system.

    Take care and ask your doctor.

  • and i have a blue badge but i had to fight to get it ,my doctor was grate help with it so yes ask for his/her help
  • As for why you don't want to ask- it's because they are for people with a disability. And you know YOU are not disabled, because you can see every day that you are capable of anything if you put your mind to it.

    But, truly, even those that need the placard the most feel the same way. It is why there was such a push to do away with the words such as "handicapped" and "disabled" that focused on what people were not able to do, but what they were able to do. "Differently abled" seemed less negative.

    But these days, kids are throwing around terms that used to mean genuinely diabled as though they are vicious insults. It's pretty sad.
  • I will definately bring it up. There's just times that I darn well need it....hopefully those times will get less and less!!! Also considering getting a wheel chair. It would be nice to have when walking a lot needs to happen. I've had to go sit in the car when I couldn't walk anymore then I miss things with the kids. It would be nice to go to a fair or the zoo and be more comfortable. Oh the decisions!!!
  • You can always rent a wheelchair for those times. My problem is it just doesn't sound that comfortable, I can't sit that comfortably in a comfortable chair, a wheelchair sounds awful!

    But do what you need to do to enjoy your life, I say. We've debated the wheelchair thing many times. I don't know if it would help me or not- if I was sure it would help, I wouldn't hesitate.
  • I would definitely talk to your doctor about a permit. For me, it came down to sitting in the house, alone and miserable, knowing that if I didn't get a space close enough or, even at times when I thought I was close enough... and didn't find out that it wasn't close enough...until it was too late. There's nothing so bad as making it into walmarts (or wherever) and having to hide out in the bathroom crying til you can walk again... it sucks, royally.

    For me, it was frustration at my limitations... I went off to my GP... pretty much telling him how hard it was to get INTO work, never mind staying there and doing it! That I couldn't get a quart of milk sometimes because by the time I walked halfway across the lot, I was done. He was like... why didn't you say something?? We'll get you a pass.. and poof....things were a bit better. And, stupidly... I thought it was my back and knees that got me the plates, and it was a stupid heartbeat issue that did it ( I don't even pay attention to that!) Either way, it has enabled me to take my nephew out for a lunch or to the park... or, go to the store...

    Anyway, long story longer... get your permit or plate, use it when you need it... walk it when you can... if I'm going someplace where there's a close enough space for me, I use it instead... if someone that drives is with me, I get out in front and they park it in a regular space...

    It's makes no sense to sit at home when, with the pass, you can still get out there and do a few things...be happy and enjoy your family without suffering for it later.
  • Question for you. If you are making certain you get a paddle lead vs the percutaneous in order to handle the active lifestyle you have, wouldn't you be shooting yourself in the foot by asking your doc about a placard?

    You may find that once you get your SCS, that you would prefer to walk with your new found freedom.

  • Of course, if she burns all of her energy crossing one particularly large parking lot, that could eliminate the possibility of many smaller, more enjoyable hikes that she could have chosen for herself.
  • dilaurodilauro ConnecticutPosts: 9,859
    I was eligible for a Handicap Parking Permit several times over the past 30 years. I never did get one.

    Two reasons:

    1 -I have always been stubborn, and to me, getting one of those was sort of like giving up. But I do have to say, I was very fortunate, because at my worst times, my wife would normally drop me off in front of where we had to go and she would go park.

    2 - I have seen too many people abuse them. For starters, my parents always did. Now my father did need a sticker for a while, but they kept it for almost 20 years using it anytime they wanted. And my neighbor, he got one, used it all the time, but yet he was playing golf 3 times a week.

    The first reason is not a good reason, so please dont listen to me on that one.

    You know yourself, if you will need one. Maybe for a short period of time, maybe longer. There will be times when you will use and times you won't.

    I would say go apply for one, get one and then the final decision on when and how to use it will be yours alone.
    Ron DiLauro Spine-Health System Administrator
    I am not a medical professional. I comment on personal experiences
    You can email me at: rdilauro@veritashealth.com
  • Yes I do plan to have the most active lifestyle I can. And would getting a permit be kicking myself in the foot I don't think so. Did the trial help my pain, yes but it didn't take it all away. I'm sure I'll still have good days and bad days. When I need to go see the doctor and the parking lot is full and it takes me a 15 minutes to walk to where I need to go then a permit would be appreciated. I hope that I can walk miles upon miles but at this point I don't know. I probably won't bring it up until I do know more. I'm not a complete moron that takes this lightly and that would do it when I don't need to. I want to live life to the fullest I can and I will do what needs to be done to achieve that....
  • I'm getting confused. Renea is facing the reality of being disabled and needing to ask for assistance. She isn't asking us to determine if she is eligible for a parking pass..her doctor will do that. What she is looking for is our support as she faces this terrifying reality. HB hit it right on the head -- asking for help means admitting we need it.

    C I don't see how asking for help when she is in pain would in any way affect her doctor making the decision on what type of leads to use. If he makes the right decision she might not need to parking pass :) we can only hope!!

    So Renea you ask for that parking pass. And I for one have complete faith that you will use it appropriately.....and if you don't I might just have to come over there and smack you around some :)
  • When a doctor gets conflicting signals from a patient, it can lead to treatment modification. Making certain that paddle leads are used in order to best accommodate an active lifestyle and then asking for a handicap placard, seems conflicting.

    If I can see mixed signals, who's to say that the doc wouldn't get them as well?

    If we avoid looking at the flip side of the coin when asking for answers, experiences and opinions on these forums, then are we helping or enabling?

    Renea I am merely presenting to you a possible concern when looking at your situation as you have described it to us on the different forums.

    Is it not smart to be prepared for unforeseen circumstances?

    Also I am one who has a strong belief in how easy it is to influence our own future. If everyone who went ahead with getting a permanent implant or having spine surgery set their sight on a mediocre improvement in their life, chances are that's all they'll achieve ... mediocrity. If we forge ahead without setting expectations or conditions on our self, then it's pretty amazing what we can achieve.

    My goal in answering your posts, was to encourage you to think globally or out of the box.

  • Hello,
    If getting a placard with help you do more than you can do now then that will benefit you in the longer term, if you cannot walk far that is your reality and if what you are doing now is not working for you I would change it. Only you know what your limitations are and you should be supported in what you want to do, when others cannot walk they will have that opportunity to decide for themselves what is appropriate for them. It is not a case of trying harder, better to for some acceptance and adaptation than deny yourself the opportunity to be included.

    Some people will always abuse the system and seem content that they are restricting others from inclusion and making improvement from a selfish act, that is not reason for you genuinely not applying, this is measured on your bad days and you could always use is as your condition allowed. Our goals have to be realistic and attainable; wishing they were more progressive is not our reality, live in what you can do.

    Take care.


  • Maybe I am lost. Renea do you know when they will do your permanent implant yet? My assumption was that it would be several weeks if not months before this would happen. And then if you get the paddles that is a lami to recover from which could take a few weeks.

    C I can understand what you are saying about the conflicting signals. I see with my doctors that they are always looking for signs of conflict in what I say. Most of our pain is not quantifiable. The doctors have to rely on what we report and often that is not accurate. I was chatting with a man yesterday who was getting an MRI for cervical problems. I asked if he had kept a pain log and he had no idea what I was talking about. I explained and you could see the light bulb go on in his head.

    In this case I had assumed that Renea was looking for the parking permit to use in the next weeks as she awaits the implant and then recovers from surgery. Permits are given to people with broken legs that will heal in 6 weeks. It has become such a common part of our lives.

    I've been thinking about this whole topic of handicap parking and the abuse. We could wipe out a whole department of government if we just set aside those spots with the understanding that you use them if you need them. With so many people cheating it really doesn't matter if you have a permit or not....
  • Well actually I am one of those rare people if you use it and your vehicle doesn't belong there I will call the police on you. There is a group of people who that is defined for and who needed very very much. Anyone ever tried to get a wheel chair out of wheel chair van in a non handicap parking space? Well it can't happen. I find it no different that reporting any other crime. Most may think it is just a parking spot, but for those whom truly need it, it isn't. So we the people have a responsibility when we see it, to call the police and make the tickets happen. What I really think is they need to raise the price of the tickets so incredible high that people know the risk they are assuming by cheating. Step on the line pay the fine. We need to make life easier for the disabled. Telling people well if you need it today then use it and someone whom is truly disabled will have no chance.
    Those spots will then serve no purpose. I believe there are plenty of people in this world whom see the spots and know it is not meant for them and stay away from it. But if you say well if you feel like it on a given day then use it, all those people whom would have never used it will find it available to them as well. I can say before my injury i never even thought of using a handicap spot and choose to park the farthest out, for the free exercise it provided walking. The disabled have fought long and hard to make things accessible to them so they can remain as independent as possible. There plight is no where near over and continue to encounter discrimination. So I would never do anything to make it harder on them, but anything in my power to make it easier for them.

    My best joke on that is being at the gym, several years back and seeing two drivers literally have road rage over a closer parking spot and whom was there first? Let's see your going to a gym to work out and your arguing over walking.

    Kris, I believe you are referring to the temporary placards that can be issued. Which I see no issue with those. If you have a injury you are under the care of a doctor and can easily obtain one, if the doctor deems it necessary, for a short term period.
  • I am disabled from multiple pain ailments and there are more days than not that I have trouble walking.I did finally get a parking permit.But I did tell the Dr. that if I am having a fairly good day,I certainly will not park in the handicap spot.
  • I have one and if you need it get it. Some people may look at me and thank that I no not need it, no one knows you medical problems but you. No one knows if you have lung,heart,knee,feet,back problem or whatever they can not see and the Drs do not give you the paper work to get handicap parking if you do not need it...
  • ...if you NEED it, then get it.Your doctor wouldn't give it to you if he/she did not agree with you. Only you and your doctors know your story and together you can make the decision. I do agree though, that if you happen to have a "good" day, save the space for others having a "bad" day. That's what I will do...I'm going to be getting one soon as well. But, since hubby basically drives me everywhere, it will not be used much b/c he drops me off and then goes onto park in normal parking.
  • As was already stated, "you and your doctor" know your status, and as such if you qualify for a tag. Granted we all know of people that probably shouldn't have one - an x-coworker used her dead fathers! Grrrrr...

    I had pride issues, but now have finally accepted that I have to use a cane if I want any sort of "normalcy" with my hubby many days. It gives me a bit more "spoons" that day! (G) Like you, he drops me in front of the store, we do our shopping, and he picks me up in front of the store. No cane, no longer works - so now that my "pride" isn't an issue for the cane, my feeling of getting a sticker is lessoning..and therefore when I have my neck GP appointment, will ask for one.

    Also as was stated, you don't *have* to use the parking spot if you are feeling pretty good. :) My 'guilt' of parking in the ole "H" isn't as much of a factor to me now that "me and the cane" issue have come to light. If you are uncomfortable on how folks might look at you... Try some of the less crowded areas first to get use to it, then more and more busy areas over time might help? *HUGZ*

    PCTF C4 - T2, Laminectomies C5, C6 & C7. Severe Palsy left arm/hand.
  • This is my grrrr...my hubby's mean ole ex wife with no limitations uses her sons (hubby has a handicapp card for his 12 year old autistic son who has cerebral palsey in one leg which makes it tough for him to walk long distances). Anyway, we have him 90-95% and his mom uses the tag ALL the time without him!!! I want to do something about it, but don't know what to. We have used it once in the 3.5 years we've been married...and that was when we went to "wet'n'wild", a water theme park and the walking distance from parkig area to the entrance gate was far for him, otherwise, going to grocery stores, out to eat and such, we dom't baby him, b/c I would just die if I saw a paraplegic getting down a wheelchair ramp when my kids and me are "relitively" healthy.

    She also uses at her apartment building all the time to get a closer spot...just makes me want to gag...HER!!!!!lol hehehe
  • If anyone is like I am, I may feel ok gone in to the store but after you walk around the store and stand in line or sitting in a drs office I can not move and I am in so much pain that I can not get in the car :O
  • There is a really great song that goes something like "don't judge me ..... someday we will all have perfect wings". I try very hard not to judge others. No one knows what is going on inside another persons body. You might look fine on the outside and be horribly handicapped.

    As far as the abusers you have to believe they will get whats coming to them. Life is too short to spend time hating.

  • you are right. I don't hate her even though she is evil and is awful to my loved ones. But each time I see her parked in a handicapped spot, it just really gets under my skin. But I also believe in "you reap what you sow", or "what goes around comes around" or whatever. You got it just right!
  • Until recently I was that way. I could walk in with minor discomfort, shop a bit, but hell's bell's walking back to the vehicle! I think what beats me down on the shopping part is how we walk when we shop! Instead of the paced deliberate walking we normally do, we walk slow, stop, bend over, look up etc., a lot more annoying on the neck and back in my book! :)

    PCTF C4 - T2, Laminectomies C5, C6 & C7. Severe Palsy left arm/hand.
  • Unless a person is picking up or dropping off "the" handicapped person, or said handicapped person is in the vehicle, then the 'normal' person is violating the law when they use it! The stinky part about turning someone in for abusing that placard is that the actual handicapped person could also lose it! It's a lose - lose in those cases.

    Now my former co-worker, her dad is gone, so that would be a win-win. The kicker is the law enforcement officer has to find them using it IN the "H" spot, otherwise, no violation to enforce.

    PCTF C4 - T2, Laminectomies C5, C6 & C7. Severe Palsy left arm/hand.
  • I cannot climb stairs, and at work part of the lower lot is designated handicapped and the rest of it is 2 hour parking or you get a 65 dollar ticket. The upper you have to go up and down about 30 cement stairs. I had a deal with the people who ran our downstairs lot and they never ticketed me, I explained that I didn't feel I was handicapped in the sense of being handicapped but after spinal fusion, dealing with severe siatica, and other joint issues, I could not do the stairs. Then a few of the gals at work got mad because I was parking down there and made a big stink. My boss made me get one just to shut them up - so I did. I only use it at work, but it makes all the difference. Now they can mock me by saying, oh so she's handicapped??? People are truly amazing. I would so like to give them my back and leg for a day! They would crap their pants... Anyway, I would definately get one and wouldn't think twice about it.
  • ...if by any chance you knew a policeman who would be interested in taking that away from her well that could be the backside of that circle kicking her in the butt :)
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