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Bad day physically and mentally

sunny1966ssunny1966 VIRGINIAPosts: 1,385
edited 06/11/2012 - 8:46 AM in Depression and Coping
I don't know what to say. Besides, what's the point?



  • For what it's worth, I hope that your day gets better in one or more aspect. The fact that you have reached out to Spine Health, seems to be a good sign that you want this to be over and you are taking positive steps towards that goal.

  • j.howiejj.howie Brentwood, Ca., USAPosts: 1,730
    What happened? I hope it's just a small bump in the road. And tomorrow will be better for you! I know exactly where your coming from. Try to get busy doing something that brings you pleasure. Yeah easy for me to say.........
    Click my name to see my Medical history
    You get what you get, not what you deserve......I stole that from Susan (rip)
    Today is yours to embrace........ for tomorrow, who knows what might be starring you in the face!
  • dilaurodilauro ConnecticutPosts: 9,846
    I hope this is only a small bump in the road for you.
    But for you to post like that, I am thinking it could be a little more than a bump.

    I am hoping that things work out
    Ron DiLauro Spine-Health System Administrator
    I am not a medical professional. I comment on personal experiences
    You can email me at: rdilauro@veritashealth.com
  • Dear Debbie,

    So few words you wrote, but they sure hit home over here.

    I sure am sorry to hear you're having a rough time.

    The set-back's we get, both physically and emotionally, are real buggers to get through. I have been going through a ridiculously long set-back myself and the lack of sleep tends to bring out the "I just don't know what to say" comment or reply.

    The one thing I keep focusing on, is that there will be some better days ahead and I swear, I am going to throw a party after this set-back subsides.

    I never did hear back from you on how your appointment went with the Neurosurgeon? Whenever you get a chance, I would love to hear how that went.

    I wish you a much better day tomorrow, my friend.

    "C", Jim and Ron are such awesome supporters. And, so are the many other spiney friends we have here.

    Take care, lay low and I'll be thinking of you...

    Tammy >:D<
  • Is that whenever I am gone from here for more than a week, I always see that I have a Private message when I return.

    99.9% of the time it is from sunny1966/Debbie! >:D<

    You always make me glad I checked in >:D<

    I so hope this is only that bump in the road and things brighten up soon!
  • sunny1966ssunny1966 VIRGINIAPosts: 1,385
    "C", Jim, Ron, Tammy, Mark--thank you all for being here for me. I'm sorry to even post when I feel like this. Not very helpful to others I'm sure.
    As Ron knows, my NS wanted to do an ACDF C5-6 on Aug. 9 but my husband didn't want me to do it. He said it was to soon that we need to think about it. Well, it may be to soon for him but as you know I've been dealing with these problems as well as lower back problems for a long time. I've been through all the conservative treatments without success. My ns appointment was Aug 3 and I've tried several times to discuss this with my husband but he just more or less ignores me and doesn't say anything at all about it. I tried to get him to read the pamphlet the doctor gave me but he handed it back to me. He has treated me differently at times since then but it's like he hasn't even had a clue what's been going on with me all this time. I know that it's a lot my fault because I keep it to myself and try not to complain all the time. I feel so let down in more ways than one. I don't even know how to express what I'm feeling. Today I just feel tired...tired of it all.
    I'm sorry. Thanks for being concerned. I hope you're all doing as good as can be today.


  • Dear Debbie,

    Thanks for the update on what the Neurosurgeon advised.

    Would your husband be willing to go to a consultation meeting with you, to speak with the Neurosurgeon about the ACDF? I'm wondering if your hubby might be feeling a bit shocked, after reading through the pamphlet? Although he might have placed the pamphlet down in front of you, I would be willing to place a bet that your hubby revisited that pamphlet several times.

    I know what you mean about keeping things to yourself. To this very day I can't just blurt out, "I really feel like "sheet" right now. This ongoing pain is really getting to me". It's only until the last minute... like having to go to the ER or something... to where I'm really vocal about being in excrutiating pain. I know Mike and the kids can see when I'm really hurting, as I'm plastered with Lidoderm patches (thank you again for that recommendation) and Thermacare wraps, have my heating pad wrapped around me, they hear my medicine bottles jiggling and I now have a TENS unit I use. With you pushing through your pain on a daily basis and getting out in the yard to do some work... your hubby might not catch-on to how much you really are hurting. I show visible signs, but I'm wondering if he ever see's that with you.

    I must admit that my heart started to race, when I read that the Neurosurgeon wanted to work you in for surgery... just days after your initial appointment. He obviously feels your neck needs some prompt attention.

    Feeling tired of it all is very understandable. Fighting pain all of the time is exhausting.

    I hope you can talk with your hubby and see if he will go with you to see the Neurosurgeon.

    Wishing you the very best and please keep us posted.

    Hugs to you,

  • sunny1966ssunny1966 VIRGINIAPosts: 1,385
    Thanks for the reply. I'm sorry I haven't emailed you in a while. I have been thinking about you and hoping that you're doing better. I've just been feeling sorry for myself.
    My hubby was supposed to go to my appt with me but he changed his schedule so he had to work. Seriously. I called the NS office Monday to ask a few questions about the surgery so I could maybe give him more of the percentage odds of how much the ns expects the surgery to help me but they still haven't returned my call. It's like my husband thinks if we ignore it it'll go away. Does he think I haven't tried that? Does he think I 'want' to have surgery? I'm scared to death to be honest with you so it should have told him something that I agreed to do it! You'd think anyway. Sorry Tammy. There I go again. Today is just a painful day and that on top of all this is really making me peeved.
    I hope you're having a good day. I'll send you an email...
  • I hope today finds you in a better place. I wish your husband was able to go next time to see your Neurosurgeon and see the necessity of your surgery. It's rough not having your Spouse's support but hope you do what you need to do for yourself and surround yourself with your friends and family. Take care. Charry
    DDD of lumbar spine with sciatica to left hip,leg and foot. L4-L5 posterior disc bulge with prominent facets, L5-S1 prominent facets with a posterior osteocartilaginous bar. Mild bilateral foraminal narrowing c-spine c4-c7 RN
  • I hope today is a better one for you. You are in my thoughts and prayers and you have to try to be positive that better days are ahead. I hope to here from you soon.

    AL S
  • This is your body. Why do you need to convince your husband?

    What would happen if you said "I decided I'm going ahead with the surgery?" Do you need his signature or something?

    This seems like pretty controlling behavior to me, I'd be pissed too. He seems to be blocking the decision but not remaining open to the "thinking about it" he says needs to be done.
  • Debbie my husband was and is the same as yours. He has only gone to one appt with me and that took alot of work on my part to make happen. I lied and told him he had to be there to drive me home after an EMG. He and the doctor laughed the whole time while I was getting poked.

    When I had my rotator cuff surgery my 78 yr old parent came with me and my father drove me home (good thing I was medicated!!) because he had to work. I was up the next morning at 5:30 to make him lunch with one arm.

    When I had the microD etc I got the kids ready for school and then we went to the hospital. I was there one day exactly. He was home the next day because he was out of work but on the second day he left to go work on the vaca house. I was left home with two teenagers and a house to take care of.

    Before both surgeries whenever we talked about my problems he kept saying I didn't need surgery or that I was exaggerating. I could show him the MRI report and he still said it was nothing. Believe me those were short conversations.

    I know that part of this is my fault. I am so used to taking care of everyone so I put myself last. I postponed by back surgery by a month because I was supposed to host the family xmas party. Heaven forbid his sister or sister-in-law did anything.

    Don't get me wrong..my husband is a great guy but like most men he has very little empathy. And I am an enabler who puts everyone else before my needs. My kids have finally realized that when I scream it's because the pain is out of control..you should see their faces :)

    HB is right. This is your body and your decision. You need to tell your husband that you are doing this and you need his help. Period !! And if he won't step up to the plate make sure he understands that you will find another way. Unfortunately that hurt never quite goes away but try to remember all the good things about him.
  • Please be careful when sharing opinions, especially those with regards to personal relationships. None of us really know what goes on in another member's relationship and it would be a travesty if we were directly or indirectly responsible for causing strife in their home.

  • I'm sorry that I haven't seen this post before now - as you know I've been very busy and haven't been on as much lately as usual.

    I just hated reading your post. I know what you're going through and am hoping that your days since your initial post have been a little better, at least.

    Please keep us updated on what is happening. You know we're always here for you and will listen whenever you need it. It's just paying you back for the many, many kind words you've spread to all here, my friend.

    Take care and I'm sending you cyber hugs.
  • Wishing Debbie harmony with her hubby... and harmony with any fusion her body endures.

    “The life of inner peace, being harmonious and without stress, is the easiest type of existence.” Norman Vincent Peale

    Definition of *harmony*:

    (n.) Concord or agreement in facts, opinions, manners, interests, etc.; good correspondence; peace and friendship; as, good citizens live in harmony.

    (n.) The just adaptation of parts to each other, in any system or combination of things, or in things, or things intended to form a connected whole; such an agreement between the different parts of a design or composition as to produce unity of effect; as, the harmony of the universe.

    *** Definition source from thinkexist.com ***

    Love ya,

    Tammy >:D<
  • sunny1966ssunny1966 VIRGINIAPosts: 1,385
    I want to thank you all for your concern and support. I have been staying pretty busy and mentally have felt better. Physically not so much. I know I've been doing to much and have caused myself this extra pain. Today I almost called the surgeon to say lets do this. I didn't but if something doesn't give soon I will. I would just like to have my husbands support. If I don't, I can just hear it now after surgery if I have a lot of pain or anything. I don't want to hear "I told you" you know? Thank you all again for thinking of me. I really hope you all are having a great day.

    Take care,
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