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second guessing myself

RangerRRanger on da rangePosts: 805
edited 06/11/2012 - 8:46 AM in Matters of the Heart
hi friends and fellow spineys,
Wasn't really sure where I should have posted this topic but since this is somewhat of an emotional thing here it is.
Last friday I underwent some reconstructive surgery of my left wrist with the mentality that compared to my spinal surgeries this would be "a walk in the park." For those who do not know me the underlying problem with my spine and the other joints in my body is severe OA, resulting in loss of cartilage,
bone on bone, and nerve impingement issues. The surgery went well, bone was removed, a plate was installed from the back of the hand down the wrist,
cleaned out some arthritis, and opened up the carpal tunnel.
I was sent home the same evening with a pain pump installed in my shoulder and a cache of some heavy duty meds to help control the pain. I really underestimated the aftermath of this surgery as I usually tolerate pain very well. The day after surgery which statistically is the worst lived up to that in every way as the meds didn't seem to touch the pain but I'm sure they were.
This brings me to the thought of maybe I should have just put this surgery off for some time, it really wasn't that critical, and I do have more upcoming spine fusions that will need to be addressed. The thought of putting my family through more of these just bothers me to no end, in effect, I seem to be second guessing myself as to what should I have repaired and what do I put off and leave alone.
take care,


  • Ranger,

    You and I have chatted tons! Second guessing your actions? Stop it now, okay??? You know your body, and better yet, your body is telling you what needs to be addressed! I call it 'baby steps' if you will. You have to go on what you feel is the most urgent of attention. I am in that boat myself right now. Yes we do put more pressure on our spouses and family, but you have to look at YOU for what is best. Your family will understand. I know that sounds odd right now, but by now, they know "nothing is a guarantee" at this stage. Love ya pieces darlin!!!! *HUGZ*

    PCTF C4 - T2, Laminectomies C5, C6 & C7. Severe Palsy left arm/hand.
  • fighting pain issues after surgery is something i think we need to address more.. i know i had terrible problems with pain after my surgery and wound up with an epidural for pain relief.. it seems our medications act as a buffer to the medications we may take after surgery.. it is not always possible to be weaned off meds and so one is left on meds and having surgery.. you know your body and have the courage to do what needs to be done.. i wish you the best of luck and the strength to follow through with whatever your body tells you it needs you to do! Jenny :)
  • Ranger, a few years ago before my spine surgery, I was in need of hand surgery too. The hand surgeon said it was urgernt that I have it done and even a small smack on it could ruin the use of it. I had a lunate bone cyst, the bone was almost gone.

    I also needed the spine surgery, and the spine doc was saying it was most urgernt, and spine would/should come before hand, as he damage to spine would be worse than hand.

    So I had the spine surgery, then the hand surgery.

    Dayum, enough of me, you know how you are feeling, and what your pain levels are before your surgery, this pain now is temperary, and it's not like you running aobut getting x many number of surgerys for the "fun" of it.

    You are wondering what to have repained and what to put off, only you and your doc and know what is most important, what is urgent and what can wait,

    In the end, once you have done what you can for your health, you have done your best, no need to second guess.

    You have many diff issues going on that need attention, and that takes time.

    I think I am rambling on, so please don't second guess, move forward like you always do,

  • RangerRRanger on da rangePosts: 805
    thank you all for your support and understanding.
  • Ben,

    Here is a thought to ponder? While your hand needed to be addressed think of this way had they done your spine first you may not have been able to tell if it did any good without having the hand surgery first. Keep in mind you also had some major drugs induced in you so some form of depression is some what normal. I think waking up from surgery is hard and realizing the level of pain your in post surgery and thinking why did i do this to myself and that is only natural. But keep in mind it is surgical pain and it will get better as time goes forward. I am sure lots of therapy coming your way for it though. keep us posted on how you do. Take care.
  • >:D< >:D< >:D< sorry that hand surgery is causing you so much pain....and i'm w/brenda do not 2nd guess yourself..
    And don't beat yourself up take those pain meds and keep ahead of that pain...
    or you know i shall hop on a plane if I have too...
    your always there for lots of us in chat...so know its your turn come in and vent.....always there for you my friend

    you have alot on your plate and you will handle things as you always do one step at a time....
    love ya ben
    chat soon
    neck,bone spurs pain started 04, back issues and fusion l4,l5 06~hardware removed.
    good few yrs. 09 pain sharp, numbness feet,legs, diagnosed fibro, neurop. legs.lung issues.
    daily goal do good thing for someone.
  • Ben sorry you're having pain from your hand surgery and hope you get better day by day. If you and your Dr. decided it must be done it had to be done. I've only had shoulder surgery but was glad to have it done as the pain was too much and disabling. I hope you feel better soon so you can focus on your spinal issues. Take care. Charry
    DDD of lumbar spine with sciatica to left hip,leg and foot. L4-L5 posterior disc bulge with prominent facets, L5-S1 prominent facets with a posterior osteocartilaginous bar. Mild bilateral foraminal narrowing c-spine c4-c7 RN
  • Having had Guyon's release (wrist and hand), I understand the pain with it. I dropped in to check in on you, and hope that the pain is starting to back down for ya. *HUGZ*

    PCTF C4 - T2, Laminectomies C5, C6 & C7. Severe Palsy left arm/hand.
  • Hi Ben,

    Yes, I have spent some time second-guessing myself. My string of surgeries/problems (C6/7 foraminotomy, total knee replacement, bowel obstruction, scheduled 2-level PLIF) was preceded by two elective foot surgeries a couple of years earlier. My friends are starting to think I'm falling apart (I am!) and I wonder if they hadn't seen me on crutches for 12 weeks with my foot surgeries, maybe they wouldn't be wondering what on earth is going on with me now. On the other hand, I really needed my feet fixed and I'm not sorry I did it. I wouldn't be able to do the walking I will be needing badly after my upcoming PLIF if I hadn't had them fixed. You needed your hand surgery or you wouldn't have gone for it. Don't let anybody or especially your mind work tricks and try to make you feel you made a mistake. Go forward with the knowledge that nobody but YOU knows what's best for your body, and you did it. Best wishes on your recovery! :)

    2009 Foraminotomy C6-72010 PLIF L4-S1Multi RFA's, cervical inj, lumbar injLaminectomy L3-4 and fusion w/internal fixation T10-L4 July 17Fusion C2-C5 yet to be scheduled
  • RangerRRanger on da rangePosts: 805
    Thanks again for the support, I'm in this mental rut and I'm trying to get back on my game. Had stitches removed from both front & back but the swelling is a little more than we had hoped. So I'm focusing on that till
    they put on my next cast. They did cast my wrist after the exam. I'm trying to keep busy but when you literally have one arm tied, it's tough to stay motivated. I feel all the hard work I've put into strengthening my core is wasting away. My plan is to start working Monday then get back in the gym by the end of the week. I need my diversions back, I don't like being down.
    I'll get thru this, this is nothing compared to what others go thru. I just need to be patient and positive.
    Thank you all again so much, you don't know what this means to me.
    you all take care the same!
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