I am a man, 26 years of age. Eyes blue sometimes green, picture aroura borealis. I was once a near-purple belt in Brazilian Jiu Jitsu, I also used to train Muay Thai. Had to stop with the hands cause of muscle spasms in upper back and shoulders about 3 years ago, but kept on traning hard with jiu jitsu. I even went to an academy in Manaus, Brazil disguised as an English teacher, and lived with a black belt for like 300 reais a month. I drank acai daily, the real stuff(we're talking yoghurt viscosity), for the anti-inflammatory effects for my aching shoulder. Nao ajuda nada. I slept on a concrete triangle to toughen my resolve. I lost my competitiveness cause of the pain and became a deadly fierce jiu jitsu commentator. Year later lost my job at the foods store wharehouse (thank you Humboldt spanish major.) Been living in pain at home with the folks for the past 2 years, they're cool. They let me keep my bong out back. I guess I try to be funny cause it feels good to ridicule my whole situation. I have so much freakin motivation and nothing to do with it except slow down. I didn't sleep 2, sometimes 3 nights a week until I started a magical medication. I was going crazy (maybe I got there?) before my surgery. Now I'm doing better. Recovering from a minimally invasive T8, C3, C5 something or other bout 7 weeks ago and getting stronger. Pain is better but still present and debilitating.
I am adapting the best I can but know that I am dependant on something I have no control over for me to attain happiness (work, wife, kids, golden shotgun.) I am spending way too much time on the computer, but hey, I am alone most of the time and need to vent at something. I have friends but they don't visit, and are not doing anything healthy and productive that I would like to endorse. I am not this mean at home or with my friends. I think I am a little mad at everything and am lashing out. Guess it seemed harmless over the internet. I feel isolated and alone, and I don't do any daily affirmations. I realistically portray myself losing a job at a movie store and selling lemonade fifteen minutes at a time on a chair, 17 minutes lying down with several pillows (thanks for nuthing Felden krais.) 8 months PT, still doing it, yeeha Arm bike! Keep it above 1200 ergowhatevers!!! Muscle spasms, 5/10 pain, too much tv = I am going crazy. Luvin heartburn, sleeping pill hangovers, nauseua, fear of all government operations. Sorry for being a drive by ranter, I am very frustrated and I read once that humour is the best tool for surviving torture and interrogation (demagogues can't laugh at themselves.) I'll try and relax, thanks for reading.
Lot's of Pepe's in my family most of them old, distinguished myself in a crowd by saying I'm the good looking one.