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Does anyone else fear the future and what it holds?

chilicchili Posts: 2
edited 06/11/2012 - 8:47 AM in Chronic Pain
I have been looking into ways to help myself cope with my pain issues for a while now. I have severe problems with my cervical spine..two vert fused out of place, stenosis, other vertebrea are now out as well. My thoracic is significantly deteriorated and lumber has a couple of disc bulging making contact..minimal..with nerve sac. I also have good old arthritis in all of my joints. This has been ongoing for me for 20 some years. I dealt with it for as long as I could..and finally a couple of years ago..came to the realization that the pain had taken control of me instead of me controlling it. So..I caved and went for my disability..killed me..and got it..now..here I am..45 and wondering what i've got to contribute except trying to make everyone understand that i can no longer make plans that are set in stone..that i have to live my life on a day to day..that i don't want pity..i want understanding..and most of all..i fear the future.


  • the only way to deal with this back problem is to deal with it day by day. don't think of what you cant do or it will drive you mad .i too have been living in the word of being a disabled person for the last 14 years and steadily as the years have rolled on i am gradually getting worse and worse but life goes on and as hard as it is you must try to cope .its not easy but think too much about it and you will sink into a deep dark pit and that's even harder to get out of
    keep positive
  • Chili,

    I was just talking to my PT about how her various patients "see" the future and deal with their spine problem. She commented that she sees loads of patients that are on disability that are not nearly as bad as I am.... I joke and say I can not afford to go on dissability. I do fear loosing my house, my family, my hobbies. The job I could live with out if I didn't need the money :B

    At any rate she said their practice labels people in 3 ways when they do the initial interview. A's- are the temperary easy/quick fix/repairs, B's- are the long term copers who make it work and don't use their health issues to close them selves off to life and C's- people who are afraid to do anything to get better or to live. They are truely afraid they will injure further.

    She went on to discuss that many of the C-people are afraid that they are going to get worse- the fear causes them to stay in bed or shut themselves off from life and they get worse mentally and physically.

    The B- people usually will be okay- They want to stay active. They have hobbies, they live and get out. Their bodies and mental attitude is much healthier.

    I am a B person. I do what I have to to get by and like lots of people here, I try to take one day at a time. But I do make plans when I have to. Some times it doesn't feels so great going out of town for work or letting your friends down but we do what we have to.

    This year our family planned on going to the State Fair. Sounded aweful to me but I promised my husband and daughter. I planned it out, got a good nights sleep. Took my pain meds right when we got there. I had a wonderful time! It was the best time I can remember in a very long time.

    I guess my point is- try to stay positive. If you want to make plans- you need to be prepared. Just like a successful diet- being prepared for you pain and discomfort will help you tremendously.

    Happy Friday ;))

  • hi and welcome to the forum! :H we are here to offer you support and answer what questions we can. you will be glad you stopped by and found SH. here you will get the understanding and hope that you need.. please make yourself at home and have a good look around.. good luck to you! stop by anytime! Jenny :)
  • Hi chili.

    First let me say welcome to spine-health. It can be hard dealing with spine issues and spring all types of emotions. To me it is what you do with those emotions that counts. While there maybe no perfect medical fix for anyone, getting it to a point where you can live within the compounds of your injury are very important. As far as worrying about my future not really. I like to keep in my mind their is no guarantee's in life. Heck I have a better chance being in another accident in my car than most anything, but I still take the risk and drive everyday.

    One thing I don't do is focus on what I can't do any longer of what I have lost. That exercise serves no purpose to me whatsoever. I also like to think all of my friends are getting older as well and are slowing down to a degree. While I am only in my 40's and shouldn't have all of this, you know sometimes I am thankful for what I do have. I always tell myself life could be far worse. Heck i see lots of healthy people walking around far more miserable than I am in life. So the best thing for me is to keep in perspective and understand everyone in life has some issue wether be physical, mental, emotional, financial or whatever.

    Just thought I would stop by and welcome you to spine-health. Have a look around and you will find many others going through the same as yourself. If I can ever be of any assistance don't hesitate to pm me. Take care.
  • Thank you all for your comments..finding a forum like this is what i was looking for..a place to talk with others who get what i'm saying..simply by the fact that they too are going through the same things..Looking forward to future chatting..and yes..i also try and live my life..i enjoy my good days..cope with the bad..and hope for the day when they come up with something that actually cures spinal injuries..you never know..stem cell research is making great strides.. :)
  • Chili:
    I feel your pain! I am new here. I SO understand what you are saying because just last night I cried to my husband that I was afraid of what the future could be with my back because no Dr wants to do surgery & I'm in constant pain. I, like you have DDD , & multiple bad disc (10) cervical, thoracic & lumbar - Lots of pain when sitting - but who can stand all day.
    I hope you feel better.
  • Welcome to Spine Health. I learned a few years ago that it's okay to plan for the future, just don't plan the outcome. That way, you still move ahead in life, but without unattainable expectations which would lead to further disappointment.

    It is a very scary place to be in, when you feel so rotten and have no real plan from the docs to help make life a little more comfortable.

    One thing that I have become increasingly aware of, is that this journey of pain that I am on crosses paths with some very cool people. I have to remember that life isn't necessarily all about me. In fact it is more about others who we pass by in our life. A kind smile, a hand shake, a thank you ... things that can go a long way towards making a difference in someone's day.

    Welcome to our little corner of the universe.

  • Hi and welcome to the board.

    I understand your fear, I have been disabled for quite awhile now due to PTSD, major depression, and anxiety disorder from military related service. So my back issues are just a bonus for me.

    Being 100% rated disabled is no fun as I have tried to tell so many people who said I was lucky. Since I have been disabled I attempted to return to the full time work force twice and I failed in short order.

    Try not to be afraid and do anything and evrything you can do (without jepordizing your health). Voluteer, get a hobby, try not still be as social as reasonable. I have isolated alot in the past and even now sometimes. It makes for a lonely life.

    I wish you all the best and lean on God, have faith.
    AL S
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