I had my 360 L4-S1 fusion 9/2/10. I came home from the hospital 9/7 and my husband left me 9/8. On top of the tremendous physical pain I was hit emotional trauma that would have floored me under "normal" circumstances. I went from having a "rock solid" recovery plan to having to take care of myself and my kids (ages 11 and 8). I remained on my pain meds (2-4 Dilaudid, 350 Soma, 50 Fentanyl, 5/500 Percocet) but I stopped sleeping. I stopped eating. I focused on survival and not recovery.
Yesterday my husband came home. This is a good thing if we can work on things but my trust for him has blown out of the water. My head is still spinning. I don't feel comfortable in my own skin and the pain meds aren't really helping other than to take the edge off the physical pain. I go to the OS Wednesday so hopefully adjustments can be made but I have no idea how to approach recovery at this point. I basically came out of recovery to take care of life-- not even 1 week post op. I can't shut my mind off, I can't focus on what needs to be my next move. I feel like I am about to split apart at the seams and no one (NO ONE) gets how un-Godly traumatic this is.
Am I losing my mind? Can I just go back to taking care of myself? Where am I supposed to begin???