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A sad, sad thing

NumbskullNNumbskull Posts: 1,526
edited 06/11/2012 - 8:47 AM in Matters of the Heart
It's Thanksgiving here in Canada. On Thursday, a guy that I served with overseas, decided to drive drunk, and killed himself, the other driver, and the wife of the other driver is still in critical care. The couple was up on holiday from the states. I can't even imagine what their family is going through. Not to mention his. He has two girls himself. His ex-wife, (who I also served with) lost her current husband overseas last year. So, she and her daughters are now going through loss again, as they remained very close. I haven't seen him in a couple of years, since I got posted from that base, but he was such an amazing guy, always smiling, laughing and joking. In fact, I always called him Sunshine because of that, and the fact that he was blond, tanned and looked like he belonged in a surfing ad, lol.

Sunshine also suffered from PTSD. I guess in the past little while he took a turn for the worse. He was under the same program that I am, and it makes me so angry, because he had all the resources right at his fingertips to get the help that he needed. I'm so torn, on one hand I'm so angry with him, what a senseless waste of life, and senseless grief that he has caused the other family, his family, and our military family. On the other, I know the torment he went through and I feel badly for him. But that does not, in any way, excuse his behaviour and fatal decision. How do we make sense of it all when something like this happens? Or how do we let go of trying to?
APROUD CANADIANveteranButNOTa doctor, my thoughts are my own


  • MetalneckMetalneck Island of Misfit toysPosts: 1,364

    I am sorry for your loss, It is very sad that he managed to survive the time that he served - to be taken out by an evil predator that is prolific and all too common ... Alcohol.

    When a senseless loss like this occurs my only "make sense" response is that God needed another angel in heaven. Let go and let God.

    For anyone who is struggling with any type of mental/emotional disorder - and chooses to further complicate the situation with the comsumtion of alcohol - Please get help immeadiately - today - now.

    There are AA meetings available just about everywhere. All it takes is being honest, open minded, and willing to make some changes. There is help available.

    Alcohol is cunning, baffling, and powerful ... it is in the corner doing push ups waiting for an opportunity of weakness to take everything we have including our lives .... unfortunately in the case of driving drunk, all to often, completely random and innocent parties are injured and/or die also.

    Just like we seek help for our physical problems, if you have a problem or even think you may have a problem with alcohol .... please for everyones sake ... seek some help.


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  • Hi Kelly,

    So sorry to hear of the senseless loss of your friend. You'll be a while dealing with and working through this. Give yourself time and talk to friends or who ever else can help you process what has happened.

    2009 Foraminotomy C6-72010 PLIF L4-S1Multi RFA's, cervical inj, lumbar injLaminectomy L3-4 and fusion w/internal fixation T10-L4 July 17Fusion C2-C5 yet to be scheduled
  • God bless our neighbors the USA for fighting for North America and our own Canadians who fight alongside them. God bless all our Canadian and American soldiers and thank you for your service. A terrible side affect from war is PTSD and sorry your friend was affected and died from drinking and driving. It's very sad. Thinking of you and his family at this time.
    DDD of lumbar spine with sciatica to left hip,leg and foot. L4-L5 posterior disc bulge with prominent facets, L5-S1 prominent facets with a posterior osteocartilaginous bar. Mild bilateral foraminal narrowing c-spine c4-c7 RN
  • Ime sorry for the loss of your friend and comrade. PTSD is the silent agonist, Thank you for serving the greater good and following your heart when the call came. I'll pray for the familys and you, to find some measure of peace for you guys.
    Keep that chin up, your not alone in this and you will come out the other side shining
    William Garza
    Spine-Health Mod

    Welcome to Spine-Health

  • Well, I had a psych appt today, so of course, I told him all about it. Quick answer, there is no way, you just simply have to accept that sometimes there is no answer, and just let it go. Which I'm trying to do, with all the things I've seen and done.

    Thanks for all your kind words, but really, please don't thank me, it makes me kind of embarrassed, lol. I'm just doing the job I signed up for (or was). But I do really appreciate it, it touches my heart, thank you.
    APROUD CANADIANveteranButNOTa doctor, my thoughts are my own
  • Very sorry for the loss of your friend. I found that the only thing I could do in situations like this, is to pray they are at peace and no longer feel any pain.

  • Kelly I'm so sorry for your loss. Remember you are always surrounded by your circle of spiney friends.
  • The Roman was ready to serve their state in war and peace,
    When the call came, they picked up the sword and defended against the enemy.
    In peacetime They lay down their swords and served their country by simply being good( I say Extraordinary) citizens.

    The ordinary to you is the extraordinary for the rest!
    I hope peace finds you in the hours between the light
    were here for you and ready to throw in when you need us.
    thats the way of spiney.
    William Garza
    Spine-Health Mod

    Welcome to Spine-Health

  • Thank you so much William for your eloquent post. And thanks to everyone else as well. I wish that peace be with us all, individually, spiritually, as well as globally.
    APROUD CANADIANveteranButNOTa doctor, my thoughts are my own
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