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7 months post and this journey never stops

jayhawkjjayhawk Posts: 1,032
edited 06/11/2012 - 8:47 AM in Back Surgery and Neck Surgery
I have not been posting for the last couple of weeks but I have been reading.

Many may remember that 2 months after my 360 fusion, I herniated the level above L3-4. It really has been bothering me with significant pain in my hips,front thigh/groin and some low back pain.

I went in for epidural injections today and didn't think too much about it after everything I have been thru after the fusion. I didn't have anyone to take me, so I was just going to take a taxi home and sleep/watch TV the rest of the day.

Well, after being woken up, the nurses were going to help me move from the hospital bed to the chair. When I stood up, my left leg completely buckeled and if I hadn't had someone on each side of me I would have went completely down.

We tried again, same thing. Waited awhile, tried again, same results. My PM doc came to check on me, I had a hard time walking, holding my leg out extended, standing on my toes or heels. He told me I had severe imflammation on the left nerve and it would take a while for the steroids to help decrease the imflammation and for my strength to return.

I had to stay the majority of the day and finally after promising I would have someone with me and not be left alone for the next several day, they reluctantly let me go home.

During the assessment before the procedure, they noted my right ankle/foot is still significantly weak......

Will this ever stop? If I have to have more surgery I don't think I could take it......my husband has decided he wants a divorce (which is the real reason I haven't been posting).

My heart just feels like it is breaking and I am so worried about what could happen if he stops keeping me on his

Just once, I wish I could get good news.....I hate all of this!


  • I've wondered about you and was glad to see your post. I'm so very sorry to hear about your husband wanting a divorce. What a cruel blow to throw at a person who is still recovering from a huge surgery. Please know that you'll be in my thoughts and prayers in the coming days and weeks.

    Will also be praying that the this severe inflammation of the nerve will calm down. Please do everything the doctors ask of you and don't try to do more for yourself than you're supposed to during the next few days.

    Take care and keep courage--don't think about another surgery until or unless it becomes your only option. I'm glad you've come back here to let your friends and fellow spineys help share some of your burden. You're going to be okay. >:D<

    2009 Foraminotomy C6-72010 PLIF L4-S1Multi RFA's, cervical inj, lumbar injLaminectomy L3-4 and fusion w/internal fixation T10-L4 July 17Fusion C2-C5 yet to be scheduled
  • Oh, Jayhawk. What devistating news about both, but especially about your husband. I am so, so sorry.
  • j.howiejj.howie Brentwood, Ca., USAPosts: 1,730
    Shari, I hope you live in a state where he will have to keep you on his insurance. It's been my experience that you may need another surgery. Because it's unlikely it will get better. If a divorce is eminent, I would get a MRI asap. And a good attorney for total disability with SSDI. Then a good attorney for a divorce. Make sure the attorneys are specialists in their respective fields.
    Prepare for the worst. And if it doesn't happen, you're ahead of the game!
    Good luck, Jim
    Click my name to see my Medical history
    You get what you get, not what you deserve......I stole that from Susan (rip)
    Today is yours to embrace........ for tomorrow, who knows what might be starring you in the face!
  • Jayhawk,

    So sorry you are still hurting, and maybe facing more surgery. *HUG* Even more sorry to hear your hubby wants a divorce. That is awful! I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers. *HUGZ*

    PCTF C4 - T2, Laminectomies C5, C6 & C7. Severe Palsy left arm/hand.
  • I was wondering how you were doing. I'm sorry to hear about your husband wanting a divorce! I can't understand why he isn't there for you and hope you continue health benefits. I hope the injection helps after all that wondering if you could stand up that's scary. Prayers at this time for you and we're here for you. Charry
    DDD of lumbar spine with sciatica to left hip,leg and foot. L4-L5 posterior disc bulge with prominent facets, L5-S1 prominent facets with a posterior osteocartilaginous bar. Mild bilateral foraminal narrowing c-spine c4-c7 RN
  • I completely agree with Jim. I just went through a divorce from my husband. One day he cared about me and supported me, and then the next, he didn't. I was just granted my divorce. Because I am disabled (on SSDI), was married for over 10 years and my ex makes a very good income, I was granted permanent spousal support.

    Best wishes. I hope things settle down for you painwise as well.

  • The spiney journey is a rough one. Its hard to keep your spirits up when more junk keeps getting thrown at you. The emotional upheaval of a spouse wanting a divorce is very difficult and worrying about health insurance is incredibly hard, mentally and physically.

    Marianne's post is one to keep in mind. I know it is soooo hard to not think about all of the what-ifs, that and fear kept me in my first marriage for longer than I should have. Sometimes things have a way of working out, its just hard to see it now.

    You know we are here for you for whatever support we can give. Take care,

  • Shari I'm so sorry to hear about your marriage. Not that surprised considering how he was acting during your recovery and wanting you back to work. Is there any chance of working things out? Maybe some counceling to help you both understand the why? Often what is really at the heart of the problem doesn't come out.

    Be smart in any case and make sure your health insurance is covered. Usually you can't be covered on his insurance once the divorce is granted. But there are ways to push that date way into the future.

    No matter what you know that we are all here for you. The circle is always around you.
  • And he is a poop plain and simple. Did he ever read his marriage vows or even the golden rule? My sis's husband decided to divorce her when she was going through chemo for breast cancer. She was as devastated as you are. She could not work for a long time and worried about finances. Well it has come back to bite him big time as she got a large amount of spousal support and he still has to pay child support for the two underage children. She has decided that she got the best of all worlds- she is a five year cancer survivor, the kids wanted to live with her and she has lost the stress of living with a mean, self-centered man. Get a good lawyer and adopt my mantra 'This too shall pass."
  • I just PM'd you. I am so sorry.

  • I'm sorry to hear about this happening to you!
    Believe me i understand how you feel.

    I might be able to give you one piece of advice.
    That being like what was previously stated, Apply for SSDI, that should put more of a burden on your husband if this goes thru.
    You dont have to be already approved for it, just get the application in, and it should be in your favor when and if this goes thru.

    If your on SSD you have no earning ability.
    Best of luck to ya.
  • Thank you all so much! You are the best and I am sorry I stayed away, but I realize this is where I need to be!

    This year has been so inceredibly difficult and it just doesn't seem to stop...

    I really underestimated the procedure yesterday. In the past, I have had a ton of these. I figured I'd have the procedure, go home, sleep awhile and be on my way. I even wondered if I should get the procedure. I should have known ~ I have an incredibly high pain threshold (but it doesn't seem like it after recovering froma fusion).

    Not being able to stand as my legs buckled was so scarey. trying to walk when you can't feel them is a trip! So to speak! Last night my right leg went totally numb, it is all so scary.

    I have tons of questions as to what does this all mean? Wondering why so much immflamation on the L3 nerve.

    I don't think I would have ever quit my marriage but I can see how it is so unhealthy. I don't know what is on the other side of this door, but I am willing to go thru it, a biet slowly....

    Thank you so very much! I love my spiney friends!
  • Shari it's mutual... you need us and we sure need you!!
  • Oh Shari....you will be in my prayers on BOTH issues!!!

  • I am so glad that you have posted here again. :D
    You need all the support that we can give you.

    You already know that I am praying for you my friend and will continue to do so.

    I hope that the inflamation will settle down very soon, and that your leg will regain its strength.

    We'll talk again very soon.
    Sending a very gentle, but caring hug >:D<

  • that you have had a better day. There is life beyond divorce...and you are surrounded by spiney friends.

    Have you talked with your family about divorce? You will definitely need their help.

    I've been praying for you all day.

  • Yup, you can't get rid of us!! :) It seems you are in a better frame of mind now. As Beaver stated "This too shall pass." I think there is a lot to that little bitty phrase. It sounds like the marriage isn't worth fighting for?

    If that is the case, start your SSD application and get it in, contemporaneously, get a good divorce and SSD attorney to get things rolling in *your* favor! It's too bad he is doing this at this time especially. You don't need the stress I am sure. Positive energy and prayers heading your way Shari. ***HUGZ***

    PCTF C4 - T2, Laminectomies C5, C6 & C7. Severe Palsy left arm/hand.
  • My heart goes out to you, especially after all you've been through since your surgery.

    Many years ago, my husband suddenly walked out on me after I'd had a period of illness. My two beautiful Irish Wolfhounds helped me get through the trauma. Life on my own hasn't been easy, but I have many many blessings in new friends, spiritual enrichment and my furbabies.

    I hope the numbness in your leg settles down soon and that slowly but surely you begin to heal emotionally and physically.

    >:D< >:D< >:D< >:D< >:D<


    XLIF L2-4 20.8.15
    ALIF L4/5 2009
    Laminectomy/discectomy L4/5 2008
  • My heart goes out to you. You know if your man can not stand by you in your worst of times, he is NOT worthy of being near you in the best of times! As this too shall pass. I pray you have a strong support network close to you, family & friends, that can provide you with the love and special attention you need at this time. You always have the forum, I wish I could give you a big hug right now. You will get through this.

    On your injection, I had a very similar incident, Jan of this year I went for Lumbar caudal injection (i had 4 previous ones over the past 4 years) it normally would take about 4 hours from pre op to recovery, done in OR setting, this time, like you, I had two nurses attempt to pick me up to get me walking, both legs were like noodles,the just buckled and down I went....scared to death, first they said, need a little more time, 30 min latter, same, after two more hours and several attempts, I was scared to death, and like you between these injections and the epidurals, they had become so routine, I told my husband not to come and to stay with my younger son, I had my 21 year old with me who was completely freaked out. The gave me some valium to calm me down, one nurse said "oh the doc just got your sweet spot and this will be your best injection results ever".....NOT. In any event NS who did injection finally came to see me 4 hours after I should have been discharged put something in my iv, ran some neuro testing and said I would be ok. Said many nerves were over sensitive and inflamed and it will subside. The what should've been a 4 hour ordeal was actually 14 hours long and my legs were weak for about two days. And within a week, I was (ny legs) back to normal. OBTW, that injection never gave me relief, no sweet spot.
    I pray you regain strength & your leg nerves settle down very soon.
    Please take good care of yourself.
  • You are in my thoughts and prayers. The numbness is so scary. In a funny story my hubby drove me home after a shot and I was getting number and number. When he took me out of the car my legs had no feeling and I was high from pain meds. I said in a lovely stoned voice...is this what it feels like to be paralyzed? My husband was laughing his ass off. It was funny but so scary.

    Hang in there. We all love you here...make sure you stick around!

  • I have a follow up appointment today. I still have significant numbness in my right leg, front of thigh and inner knee. The numbness seems to get worse with sitting, squatting and seems to be better when laying down~which leads me to think that the is compression on the nerve, L3.

    I noticed at work that I seem to drag my feet, the left more than the right.

    I have no idea what he will tell me. I am nervous. Please keep me in your thoughts and prayers.

    Hope everyone is having a minimal pain day!
  • You've got it, Shari! Prayer is something we can do for each other which has tangible results.

    I'm hurting this morning but think it's my own fault for standing around for 2 hours holding leaf bags for my hubby to fill, then later standing at least another hour with friends who came to unload firewood in our back yard. Was wearing my brace and being "good" and never thought about what just standing around can do to my back--and I know better! Sigh...will I ever learn?!

    I hope your appointment goes well today and that there's no bad news. Thinking about you...

    2009 Foraminotomy C6-72010 PLIF L4-S1Multi RFA's, cervical inj, lumbar injLaminectomy L3-4 and fusion w/internal fixation T10-L4 July 17Fusion C2-C5 yet to be scheduled
  • Wow LInda...I am impressed that after only a month out of a fusion you could stand up like that for that long at all...lol..I was pretty much walk, lay down for the first month or so.

    I will be praying for you my friend. I still have signif. pain to my surgical site but am getting my mobility and flexibility back. I feel fortunate. Thinking of you today!


  • Hope that your doctor will have some encouraging news for you. >:D<

  • Good luck today. Please let me know how it goes! I hope you get some answers, seems I often leave a visit with more questions then answers.

    Jayhawk, I didn't realize you were back at work (with my meds, no surprise! I kinda forget things sometimes.)
    Any way, please let me know. I will be thinking of you and sending positive energy your way. And of course you are in my prayers.

    Tomorrow is 9 weeks since my ALIF, still a mess. (i sent you a pm a few
    days ago).


  • Shari...please know that while I don't visit the boards all that often, I still think of you. Please know that you can count on me for moral support any any support I can provide from my locale.

    Please PM me if you ever need anything.

    It will get better.
    Like others say, please do not underestimate the divorce and protecting yourself. Even if you work things out, assume 'non-emotionally' that you won't and protect yourself to ensure you get permanent support and benefits where applicable. Don't let love or hope for reconciliation allow you to procrastinate.

    As for the back, I hope the injections do better after a few days. You have had quite the road...it's not for the fein of heart. You are a tough woman and I'm proud to be your friend!

    sending you a PM.
  • Shari,

    I scan the forum on occasion now and don't see many of the older names I am familiar with. So, when I saw your post I had to read it.

    I was shocked and disheartened to hear of your continued medical problems and the marriage issue. Like everyone else I pray for a good outcome on both. Lots of good advice.

    We all wish we could help in some way. Take care and I hope things work out.

  • I am so very sorry to hear your news.

    I too have been gone for a bit but I was sad to read that you are still having such a difficult time.

    I do send prayers your way and hoping that god gives you strength to get through all this.

    I hope your appointment went well today and you have some positive news to share.

    God bless,
  • Thank you so very much for your love and support! I am so blessed to have you all as friends.

    During my follow up appointment with my PM, I was shocked to find out that I became physical and aggressive to the point of having to be held down when they were putting me under during my procedure.

    My PM told me that if I have been stressed and angry when being sedated, it all comes to the surface. He is not sure if this is what is causing the pain and new numbness.

    I am horrified! No wonder the nurse was so upset and worried that day! I am shocked I did that! I am only 5'2" and usually so mild mannered! Evidently not that day.

    The plan is to repeat the procedure next Thur. but I am terrified. He asked if I thought I could handle it without anethesia, but I don't think I can. I also can't get aggressive either.....so I don't know what to do! I really want a chance at decreasing my pain. I have zero out of pocket cost till the end of the year....but I am so scared. I need to find a way to let go of the anger I have towards my ex...but I don't know how.....

    My dad is here visiting and I had to tell him on Monday. It was so difficult, and it still brings tears to my eyes. He understands but I know he worries about My daughter and me.

    I am finding my inner strength and I am starting to laugh again. Somewhere along the way, I stopped....and now I am getting together more often with friends and family and just laughing. It's hard and there are still many tears, but I will get thru this and I know that God has something in store for me, I just need to let go of the anger and walk thru the door to see what is on the other side.....

    Thank you so very much for all of your support! You all mean the world to me! Please keep me in your prayers that I can find peace and be able to have my procedure Thur with anethesia and without being aggressive!

    Wishing the very best for all of you! much love~Shari
  • Maybe they could get your husband to come in to help restrain you....that way you could sock him!!! Might as well be productive and it might relieve the stress at the same time :)
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