Because of meds. And I just can't do anything about it! Sometimes when I'm having a good day. My memory gets selective. And I can only see that good day. And not the bad ones. Or the good ones that start out good and turn to $hit later. So I'm thinking. I need to cut these drugs down or out. And why am I taking them in the first place? And in the good times I'll also think that I'm crossing the line. Would I be able to quit them if things stayed good. You see I'm constantly questioning myself. And worried about taking strong meds. And on the good times I constantly beat myself up over this. And worry about my brain going down hill. And the memory Part of the brain is suffering the most. The craziest part is the good times are far and few between. Could it be selective? Do I want to block out all of the bad during a period when things are good? Do I purposely want to only remember the good and forget the bad. Like a temporary memory block. Do I really think there is something I could be doing to stop the brain fog that's happening? I would have said yes this morning till early afternoon when everything turned to $hit! And now I'm very thankful that I have pain meds. But if things happen to get good for a while tomorrow or the next day. I'll be feeling the same. The more I read this, the more I think it's dumb and I'm just rambling. I know I should hit delete. But I'm going to post it anyway.
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You get what you get, not what you deserve......I stole that from Susan (rip)
Today is yours to embrace........ for tomorrow, who knows what might be starring you in the face!