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pain is not terminal

StarshineSStarshine Posts: 68
edited 06/11/2012 - 8:48 AM in Chronic Pain

hi all,
I am not writing this for ppl to say i am sorry to hear this news so PLEASE do not respond that way.
A very close relative of mine has terminal cancer.
She has fought her stage 4 lung cancer for 2.5 years. She is now in the hospital trying to get proper pain control because she has mets to the peritoneum (lining covering the abdominal organs). When i think of what she is going thru I laugh at my complaints of pain and misery because i have a life to live and i am saddened that her life is almost over.

You all are not terminal, live your life, keep active, find a hobby, enjoy your family. Pain should not be the center of your life. Work to find what works for you to decrease your pain whether it be meds or mental activity. I find the more active i am, the more i am with ppl the happier i am.

Do something everyday that you love to do even when u are in pain. My pain is always with me but i don't let it control me anymore- That is my MANTRA.

Maybe there should be a subject topic here at sh that is just for positive support so members can rally behind each other. That way members can here small positive things that ppl do. "Good news" is not used enough.

Have a good day,


  • at the expense of people who get the wrong picture and point made, I agree with your posts. Yes there are people here in pain, i read about it all the time. pain is relative so what is horrible to you might not be to be, so on that note. i have been in chronic pain ten years, 4 back surgeries,can't walk due to pain etc. but i still work. i get out of bed everyday take a shower get in the car and drive 15 miles to work and teach school for 7-8 hours a day and a lot of the time i spend extra time after. one has to accept pain not let it control you. there are people in pain who are terminal. my brother in law and his brother both died of cancer and both were on pain patches and or morphine. believe me it could be worse. one could be in pain and also dying and leaving a family without a supporter. there are always people who are worse off than we are. so yes, we are in pain but we have to deal with it and not let it control us. let's try to keep things in perspective when dealing with pain
    just my 2 cents worth.
    I have 4 fusions from L5-3, the latest last May '12 where they fixed my disc that broke.They went through my side this time. I take 40 mg of oxycontin 4x a day and 4 fenatyl lollipops 300 micro gms 4x a day.
  • Great that you do all that in pain. I bet you have feelings of self-worth and accomplishment. Some may not be able to do all that, but all should feel accomplished with just little things that they can do. Life is beautiful!!!
  • Most of you all know that I was recently switched over from 120mg's of Oxycontin a day to the Fentanyl 50mcg patch.

    I had a really rough week with withdrawls and if it weren't for the distraction of playing Scrabble or Wheel of Fortune online with Kelly, my week would have been a whole lot more miserable. (By the way, thank you Kelly!). I also had full support here at Spine-Health, which was incredible. The outpour of responses to my plea's for help, support and guideance are forever appreciated.

    Despite my chronic pain, I do keep active... in whatever way I can. Whether it's doing something online, making my Christmas gifts in bed or at our dining room table, going to the store for a good walk, going to my folks house for a visit, etc.

    I try my best to keep myself distracted and involved with doing something. If I wasn't distracted or doing something, I would be nuttier than a fruitcake.

    I like Jon's reply... couldn't agree more!

    Thanks for this post and reminder. It's a good one.

  • Best. Post. All. Week!!!

    Thank you

  • Well said, Star. A similar thing happened to me last year when I lost a family member to cancer. It really puts things in perspective. We have to try to push through the pain in order to live a normal, or at least semi-normal life, however hard it may be. Spine-related pain can be vicious and very hard to live with at times, but there are many other people who have it so much worse.
  • No, Tammy, thank you for helping me get through my week!!! >:D<

    And is is very true, there are so many who are worse off then what we may be. We may be in pain, but we do have our lives.
    APROUD CANADIANveteranButNOTa doctor, my thoughts are my own
  • Star,
    My own sister died from breast cancer last year, a seven years struggle, from a double mastectomy, reconstruction, radio and constant chemo therapy, the all clear...........Avastin and her extinction, we are entitled to feel aggrieved at our own plight and give some legitimacy that even though our own exit may be far away it is not an easy life.

    My own son is physically disabled I do have that hierarchy of others who are worse, some say we should not compare and contrast and it is humanistic to feel compassion for those worse off than ourselves.

    Perhaps is does take the knowledge or experience of worse to order our own plight in that spectrum, we are all trying to be positive and help live a bigger life.

    Those bald heads of cancer children at the hospice are an image engrained forever, it is in my sisters name that I live life to the fullest and see the positive that she would have loved to be viewing through my eyes now, had time allowed.

    The ethos here is positive as we hold hands with all those on this journey together.

    Take care John

  • Thank you for another reminder that we do need to keep life in perspective.

    When someone tells me they are so sorry for what has happened to me, I tell them that it could be so much worse, and I choose to live the best life that I can.

    Doesn't mean that it is not a daily challenge, because it most certainly is one.

    John, what a sweet post, thank you for sharing your sister's story....hey...give me your hand, man!!!

  • actually not to sound like a crumugon but i really don't get a sense of accomplishment or self worth with my dealing with pain. my pain does not control me positive or negative. it is just there. i have had it so long that it is in the back of my mind most of the time. i get a sense of accomplishment towards my job and my family and to tell the truth, out of 100% of the time, i think of my pain about 5% of the day. it usually hits me when i have to walk or get out of bed. i guess i have my own way to deal with pain which is personal. at work people don't ask how i am and at home or with relatives that does not happen either. i don't complain, i just deal with it. i am not trying to be a martyr about pain but the better we don't think about it or let us rule our lives the better for all, us, family, and or work. the compassion i feel is towards young kids that deal with cancer and their families. seeing that really puts pain into perspective at least for me.
    I have 4 fusions from L5-3, the latest last May '12 where they fixed my disc that broke.They went through my side this time. I take 40 mg of oxycontin 4x a day and 4 fenatyl lollipops 300 micro gms 4x a day.
  • Terror:
    i get a sense of accomplishment towards my job and my family and to tell the truth, out of 100% of the time, quote- terror

    This is what i was referring to
  • Getting through my day whether it be at work, or at home with my family, I do consider an accomplishment, as the pain is there with me every minute. It doesn't matter what I'm doing, what position I'm in and even in my sleep, the pain always reminds me it's there. I've lived with chronic pain in my knees for over 25 years, since before I was a teenager, and yet I've accomplished over 18 years in the military. I am very proud of that accomplishment. And now I've had spine issues the past 3 years. Do I skip out on doing something or going somewhere because of pain? Yes, I might choose to do so if I know I have other things to do that I wouldn't be able to accomplish later if I did that specific thing. Like any relationship, you have to have compromise, and I do compromise with my body in regards to pain.

    However, if I do feel like I'm letting the pain get to me emotionally, I think of a friend of mine. He had both legs blown off below the knees when he stepped on an improvised explosive device (IED) while on foot patrol in Afghanistan. He now runs for charity (he has those cool looking running prosthetics that look like curved skis), just did a road rally race with another double amputee for charity, he plays sledge hockey and basketball, and is a spokesperson for a new "movement" in the military that promotes physical fitness for disabled vets, whether still serving or not. He's always on the news, promoting one charity or another, or advocating for vets. That guy is truly amazing and sets a wonderful example of true persistence and accomplishment in spite of pain (and no legs!) The really ironic thing is that he has said to me that he doesn't know how I carry on with nerve pain throughout my entire body. I guess it's all relative, like Jon said earlier.
    APROUD CANADIANveteranButNOTa doctor, my thoughts are my own
  • Star,
    Great post and I totally agree. Your sister in law has put up a good fight with a horrible disease. Your support to her I am sure has been a blessing.

    I have always believed in finding a giggle at every opportunity. When dealing with my other health issues as well as stays at the hospital. All the appointments, just looking around puts things right into prospective. Seeing all the young children and there mom's and dad's and all there gear they are pushing into the hospital gives me gratitude for every year i have had healthy and also the years with challenges. Some of those challenges have been very serious but i still try to giggle and family and girlfriends are just priceless and you are one of them............great post.
  • thanks girlfriend for your post. I currently have had so much on my plate, that it's been close to overwhelming me. Yet your post reminds me that I need to and can press on....

    you are one of the best things SH has given me...I appreciate you and your words.

    Take care of you

  • There is a positive topic forum channel, given to helping and sharing. It is called writing, posting, where you feel a need or desire to. It has nothing to do with points or longevity of presence. It has to do with taking time to think and keep being in touch with your heart and mind. From both areas, thoughts will emerge.

    Pain is not terminal! The consequences of uncontrolled pain are. If we allow ourselves to place, or make catastrophic mind-set of the pain cycle we live, we can in fact place ourselves into a flight-fight response which can lead to terminal consequences. Most people have safety valves - on the body that cause us to faint still, others - like my "x", have programmed their body through repetition, to harm itself, through the reactions to the F-F response.

    Rally - yes - we all need to take stock of our circumstances and enjoy the life we have. For to not enjoy what we have, is to squander what we have been given.

    All of us - can bring a smile to someone. Be they child or senior, they have a brightened day! What better reward for me!
  • Centurion. That was beautifully written. Really made me stop and think.

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