I have been injured for about six years now. Since the very day I fell and was injured my marriage has been limping along...
We own a small commercial cleaning biz and I got hurt on the job. Hubby & I work ( past tense ) together. I finished working that day as job had to be done - ya know. Any ways next day I said I did not think I could go to work and he threw a fit. I went and scrubbed down walls and some other work at a biz office we were contracted with.
When we were done with the job I had no feeling in my left leg and said I needed to go to the local ER. Another fit on his part. After all the tests at the ER and the bad news and I started to cry. He really threw a fit and told me to pull it together.
That was almost 6 yrs ago and nothing has changed for the better.
He does have his times where he will pitch in and help me without having a fit - but those are very far & few and it never lasts long.
Today was the icing on the cake for me. I recently was told I need both knees replaced ASAP. I knew it needed done but was not sure how bad they were until I started falling several times a day. The surgery went from some day to now.
So we agreed I should not go any where on my own. Today we went grocery shopping together. It went horrible. He was mad he had to be there and was just mean. It ended with him leaving me there alone to shop & check out & get items to the car. He went to the car and sat there as he was mad at me.
Later in the day I went to fall and he sat there and did not move 1 finger to help me ! :jawdrop:
This goes so much deeper. I have tried to make career changes several times since I can't do hardly any of the family biz any more and truthfully should not be doing any of it. He sabotages me each & every step I make in this direction. He SAYS he supports me in it, but he does everything to make sure I can't do the work - get to the job - get the education I need etc etc.
I know I am not blameless in this by any means. The pain I am in has most definitely changed me. He tells me all the time I am no longer fun.
SO to try to wrap this rant up. I decided today that I just can not trust him and allow myself to not be taken care of after surgery by him. So I will be talking to my Dr when I see him Dec 9th about all this and see what help my insurance will pay for.
I also decided that I will learn to do things in a new way that will make me more independent. Like tonight I used my grabber thing to get stuff out of the closet and the dog needed a bath which he refused to do, so I went to walmart and got that waterless bath dog soap and bathed him myself.
I just have to give up the hope that he ever going to come through for me and be here for me.
He has been to almost all of my Dr appts with me, seen everything test wise, have had the Drs yell at me right in front of him that I do too much and it makes no difference to him. I have kept the way my life with him really is from the Drs., until now when I will need to ask them for some help in getting me some help in our home. I am also going to see if there is any chance I qualify for any help with cleaning it. :sigh:
I also know now that I need to find ways to get the new career I need & I want. That won't be too hard ( I hope ). Now that I am not working with him I can just change my shift from his ( we work the midnight shift ) and do the things I need to do while he is sleeping.
To sum this up. There is rarely anything he flat out WON'T do for me, BUT it is ALWAYS a fight - which equals many many fights in a day
I am not asking for help per say - just really wanted to come and vent - Thanks for the ear
L1 - S2 "gone" useless in 1 way or another. DDD. RA. Bone Spurs. Tons of nerve damage/issues. Stenosis. Both knees replaced. 50 yrs old. I had a great fall (hence my user name) at age 41 and it has been a domino effect every since.