New here I guess this is where I can vent a bit.
I have been working on acceptance but it is not going all too well. My forearms are burning like lighter fluid is cooking in them. Neck hurts so bad.
I had full coverage BC/ BS and they could not find anything wrong. They were worried about a pending PI lawsuit which caused my injury, so they do not look for problems.
Now that I lost 2 businesses and about to lose home and have no insurance they find things wrong, but still no answer.
" They" even testified under oath that nothing lasting is wrong with me. Now I am faced with this. Its like being paralyzed; and watching vultures pick away the last of my flesh.
The pain I have endured has been manageable though It is excruciating. I sympathize with those on here who live with it; as I do.
But the " not knowing" and the skeptical glances you get from the docs almost pushes me over the edge. I am more frightened and worried that something else really bad is going on. They have no answers. Which only scares me more.
I teeter between wanting to give up and going completely ballistic. If I am dying please let me know, If not get me some damn treatment that works. I do Not want any drugs,, They do not work. But I have to know whats going on and why they can't treat it. Or don't want to.
Pissed Wow what an understatement... Just knowing I might have to go to ER again, I cannot stand the thought. But I know i have to go if the pain gets too bad. It's an embarrassment to even show up there. Then the push me to the rear of the list and serve sniffles and sprains ahead of me. *&%$ **&^% and #@$!
I ultimately know in the end. I will do as I have been taught, Seek acceptance and try to calm my emotions, Look for some good and try to take things each day and no further. I might even find some peace and Love if I look hard enough.
But for right now I am angry at God ( if there is one) , angry at docs for missing my neck injury or ignoring it because I had a F'n lawsuit and they thought I was trying to get paid, or malingering. ( Just that word could put me on a rooftop with an assault rifle ...**** Note just being descriptive I dont even own a BB gun) Now they know; not faking it, But still they stall.
Well dont know if venting helped Kinda enjoy angry more than depressed.